This is my second pregnancy; my first ended in a loss at 21 weeks due to PTL. My mother was planning to throw me a shower (mostly family guests) for that pregnancy, but clearly that never happened. She's offered to throw me a shower for this pregnancy and I've been hesitant to accept due to what happened last time. This pregnancy has been going well but DH and I haven't been able to enjoy or celebrate much of it due to worry about another loss. For this reason, I'd like to take my mom up on her offer when I'm further along -- I'd like to be able to celebrate the pregnancy with my family and close friends since we've enjoyed so little of it thus far.
Here's my question:
DH and I never really thought we'd want a shower this time around and (regardless of the shower) fully planned to buy everything for the baby ourselves. I don't care about receiving gifts, but I do understand that this is the definition of a shower. I'm much more looking forward to being with my whole family and being excited about this pregnancy. Would it be too weird (morbid? inappropriate?) to offer that guests can make a charitable donation to the charity of their choice in our son's memory instead of purchasing a gift?
Thanks for the feedback!