I'm week 10 and I'm still kind of in shock that I'm pregnant. It was unplanned and didn't come at the best time. I just graduated school and started a new job 2 weeks before I found out I was pregnant. I just got engaged over the summer but my fiance and I aren't living together. When I found out I was pregnant I knew the wedding had to be put off indefinitely until after the baby was born in order to save money. We are now looking for a house too before the baby comes. My fiance and I lived together briefly a few years ago and it didn't go very well. We fought a lot because he's pretty messy and I like things kept clean. He got deployed while we were living together and we didn't move in together when he got back. I'm afraid of how things will go this time. Not only will we have to adjust living together but raising a child together. Since I've been in school I haven't worked a full time job in over 2 years so money is tight.
My head keep spinning with everything that's going on: living with my fiance, buying a house, health anxiety, giving birth, raising a child, worrying about money, how my friendships will be affected after the baby is born, my job, getting married. I've been trying to keep it together everyday and just live in the present and not worry so much but I find myself constantly shaking/bouncing my legs with all this nervous energy i have. I feel all this stress and pressure in my body from being overwhelmed and I've just been keeping it to myself trying to keep it together. Worrying all the time isn't good but i know keeping all this to myself isn't healthy either. I feel like a time bomb ready to explode with a panic attack. I don't know what to do. I feel like I can't talk to any of my friends or even my fiance because they won't understand what I'm going through or be able to help me. I am posting here because I'm sure some of you are going through similar fears. It's just so much to handle at once. Everything seems to be happening so fast and I don't feel prepared or ready at all. I'm so scared or what the future is going to bring. Any advise or suggestions?