December 2012 Moms

the delivery i didn't want but wouldn't change for the world

On Dec. 3, DH and I were sitting in the OB waiting room talking about how easy our pregnancy has been and how grateful we were for it.  An hour later I left the doctors office in tears.  While there, we found that baby had dropped, but she was posterior, my amniotic fluid levels were low, and I had no dilation or effacement.  We went through the Bishop Index with the doctor and talked about induction, but scored a 2.  That would not be worth it.  

I had wanted a med free natural birth, but found out the next morning I would be delivering my baby girl via c section.  I was terrified.  I had done so much reading on natural birth and pain management and blah blah blah that would not apply now. I had done ZERO reading on a c section! So I spent the day reading up, getting last minute supplies, contacting my close family and friends, and fighting the tears.  I think the tears were more fear than anything.  I felt so unprepared.  

The next morning we went in for the c section.  The only pain I felt was the prick of the needle for my IV.  I didn't even feel the spinal block.  DH watched the whole thing and told me what he was seeing and then he stood up right as I heard LOs first cry.  Hearing that noise and then seeing her being examined by the pediatrician was the most beautiful thing ever.  All my fears were gone.  Honestly I did not know love like this existed until I got to see my baby girl.  I could not take my eyes off of her, and I still can't.  My bond with DH is somehow stronger too.  It is hard work having somebody be so dependent on me 24/7.  It is not something I could have prepared for.  All the hard work is worth it though.  I have a beautiful, healthy baby girl sleeping on the couch next to me right now.  Recovery has not been bad at all.  The second day was the worst, especially shaking through my first shower, but after that I've regained strength, lost 2/3s the baby weight and I'm feeling great. I wouldn't change any of it for the world.    

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