August 2011 Moms

Do you have a will?

Mobile bumpers: Do you have a will? 

Warning - This is very sad - It made me cry, and I am fairly certain the pg hormones had nothing to do with it

My co-worker's neighbhour unexpectedly passed away last Friday. He was 32 and seemed compltely fine. He started complaining to his wife about having difficulty breathing, but by the time the ambulance got there, he was already gone. There was nothing they could do.

He is leaving behind his wife, their 2.5 year old, and an unborn child (wife is 12 weeks pregnant). They were both from China, and the wife wants to move back there to be with family, but she needs to sort things out here first. Which is where the importance of a will comes into play (my co-worker's neighbhour didn't have one)

In this province, if you pass away and don't have a will, 1/3 of what you have goes to your spouse and the remaining 2/3 go to your children. Everything they owned, they owned together: the house, the joint bank account, etc. That means that part of it now belongs to the kids and the wife can't do anything with it (like put the house on the market). It's a pretty big mess that will likely take months to clear up, and I just can't imagine having to deal with that on top of the sudden loss of my husband, especially with family being so far away.

This whole story just breaks my heart and I don't want to imagine what it'd be like if it were me instead of my co-worker's neighbhour. There's obviously nothing we can do to prevent the unpreventable, but this has really opened my eyes to the necessity of writing up our wills as soon as possible.

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Re: Do you have a will?

  • That is so, so sad!  Really makes you stop and think that you just never know....

    To answer your question, we do not have a will.  We have talked about it, and I feel that it is really important to get one put together.  We always falter when we talk about who would take responsibility for DD (and now baby #2) if something were to happen to both of us.  The most obvious choice is our parents, as none of our siblings have children yet, or are even married. 

    On one hand, DH's parents are in a somewhat better financial position than mine to provide for their future.  But on the other hand, they're also ten years older than my parents, who are probably in a better condition (physically) to keep up with two little kids on a day-to-day basis.  We really need to sit down and come to some sort of decision, though. 

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  • What a tragic story.That poor family.

    No we don't. And I have anxiety about it.We are stuck with who to have has guardian of Audrey but regardless, we need to get one.

    I think I know what my New Year's Resolution is!

  • No will,  I think in the US though everything goes to the spouse, and if both were to die to the parents?. . . but I am not sure how that works as 1/2 to my parents and 1/2 to DH's mom?  

    We have discussed once and thought my middle brother would be the best choice, but never asked him or put it in writing. 

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  • That's terrible! Sorry for you co workers neighbor's loss. That rule seems kind if silly when the kids are so young. I could see if they were older, but a toddler and a ute baby? Poor woman!

    No we do not have a will. We need to do it, but we're TTC and it seems silly to make one before then. I guess I should just do it. Maybe that will be my New Years resolution too.


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  • we dont have a will yet. thats on my list. we do have a legal guardian already established for the girls but its not in writing. the person who agreed, their spouse and my parents know but no one else. so i should probably make it official so the ILs dont fight about it.
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  • Oh, that break my heart. We don't have a will but need to get one set-up. We were going to get it taken care of when Lj was a few months old but keep putting it off.

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  • We do not and we know full well that we should.  If parents in the US don't have a will, their *** usually has to sit in probate for 6 months or so before the spouse/kids can have it.

    I know with my mom's will, I was able to do as I pleased with her stuff immediately.  It took a while for me to get around to selling her house & car, but I did so very easily once they were put up for sale.  

  • We need to get on this. I keep telling myself to just do it. 
  • Yes - we finally got it about a year ago. Will, Living Will, POA, Medical POA. Also added additional life insurance policies on both of us that aren't attached to DH's job. 

    Life insurance is probably as, if not more, important.  

     Check your benefits w/ work, DH's has prepaid legal, so for $12/month we have legal services which included a will. OOP, our wills would have been at least $500. 

    That is crazy about the kids getting part of the house and wife not being able to sell it. I don't think that would happen anywhere in the US, but the laws are so different state to state. 

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    • That's awful, we have talked about it but have not made the commitment of making an appointment and writing everything down. Hopefully we will get our act together, a story like this is heartbreaking.
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  • That story has me choked up so no, I don't think your hormones have anything to do with it.

    When I was pregnant with Joey, my sever nesting included demanding that DH get on board and get life insurance and wills and stuff together.  So we both quadrupled our life insurance or something like that.  So if either one of us dies, there will be more than enough to pay off the house, all of our debt and maintain our current lifestyle on one income.

    We did our will and medical proxy/living will then too.  It was done before Joey was born but it's written for him and any future children.  All property, money, insurance etc will go to him and any future siblings.  My SIL and her DH will take custody and be in charge of the money.  I think it says kids can inherit whatever hasn't been used for taking care of them at 25, with SIL and her husband able to use it for whatever the deem necessary related to the kid(s) prior to that.

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  • We just got life insurance (yay us!) and we have been talking about the will for some time now. We had agreed that my brother should take LO in the event that something happened to both of us, then MIL butted in and said she didn't want her grandson raised by him and wanted him with a set of grandparents. DH cannot stand up to her, to we compromised that my parents would be the guardians for now if something happens. Grrrr. She makes me absolutely crazy. After we had our physicals for life insurance, she says we are overpaying, we didn't shop around enough. It's none of her damn business. God I hate her, and there is no way in hell LO would go to live with her. EVER.

    One thing I have learned from my grandparents' mistakes: You should leave everything to someone in your will (spouse, kids, parents, whoever) because if it is left to the estate, it goes to probate, and the survivors have to pay a certain amount of taxes on everything all over again, and go through a lot of legal mumbo-jumbo to access the money. 

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  • image LalaMama81:

    Check your benefits w/ work, DH's has prepaid legal, so for $12/month we have legal services which included a will. OOP, our wills would have been at least $500. 

    Ooooh thanks for the tip. Also, I love your new siggy pic! So much so I think I will start a separate thread about it! :) 

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