January 2013 Moms

feel silly bringing it up

Is anyone else more concerned with their modesty level than the actual pain? I feel more anxiety about having EVERYTHING on display than any pain I may feel. Any thoughts on this from anyone? Please?? Due date is 23 days away!!

Re: feel silly bringing it up

  • Once you get there I don't think you'll care at all. I was always concerned with that aspect too but I've had other medical treatments, I'm a FTM, and while I thought I'd care they'd ask if so-and-so could come in/watch and by that point everything was out there and I didn't care anymore. They've seen it a million times so it's NBD to them.

    I say this but I wouldn't feel comfortable with my parents or MIL/FIL being in there for that exact reason, I don't want them to see that much of me. I don't think I'd be able to look at them afterwards.

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  • One of my biggest fears is pooping on the table.  I had a d&c earlier this year so oddly enough I'm not too overly worried about my modesty.  I am afraid that I'm going to be one of those weird screaming women and I would really like to try to keep myself somewhat composed.  What's going to happen will happen and there's no way around it though.  Just do your best to focus on the end goal of your baby in your arms when it is time and hopefully you'll be so wrapped up in the moment that you won't even think about your vag being on display for all to see!  Not that there will be a parade routed through your room or anything. 

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  • Yes, I worry about it beforehand but honestly anytime I go to the OB and it involves cervix checks, etc., that feeling goes out the window. All I care about is that everything checks out okay. I just hope when it comes to delivery, I have a woman deliver the baby...I think I will feel really uncomfortable having a man deliver the baby.
  • image kimmlet:

    Once you get there I don't think you'll care at all. I was always concerned with that aspect too but I've had other medical treatments, I'm a FTM, and while I thought I'd care they'd ask if so-and-so could come in/watch and by that point everything was out there and I didn't care anymore. They've seen it a million times so it's NBD to them.

    I say this but I wouldn't feel comfortable with my parents or MIL/FIL being in there for that exact reason, I don't want them to see that much of me. I don't think I'd be able to look at them afterwards.

    I agree completely!  Which is weird because I was trying to explain a weird mole I had on my boob a year or so ago and my mom just wasn't understanding it so I just lifted up my shirt and flashed her.  Yet I can't stand the thought of her or anyone but my husband being in the delivery room with me.  I don't even know if I'll accept visitors while I'm laboring. 


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  • I was having mucho anxiety about this! Which is weird because I've had misscarriages in the past and they had to perform D&Cs on me, so doctors were all up in there. I think it's different when you are knocked out than when you are awake and are aware that everyone is aware of you....

     I have a scheduled c/s now. In comparison, I'd rather have my lady bits on display than have to be cut open.

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  • With my daughter I didn't even think about modesty. At least for me, being modest went right out the window from the moment I got in my room.
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  • I doubt you will care in the moment. I didn't give a thought to modesty during labor, or after. My visitors got to see what they got to see, and I never felt embarrassed or shy about whatever happen to be hanging out. For me it was all about feeling comfortable and being there for DS. I am by nature a very modest person, but motherhood has definitly changed that. I am still a modest person, but I don't see showing some breast during breastfeeding as immodest.
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  • You aren't showing all your bits the whole time. The only time you are "exposed" from the waste down is during pushing!! At that point, the people in there have seen it all hundreds of time and arwnt looking at your parts in the way you may think! I wouldn't worry at all!!!! I've seen my sister give birth twice and don't look at her and remember what her lady parts look like.


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  • I'm like 50/50. I'm afraid of the pain but I'm definitely a modest person. I just figure it's easier to handle the goodies on display situation than the pain when it comes down to it!
  • I'm ok with the idea of the pain, and with the doctors and nurses seeing whatever, as well as DH - he does not get squeamish about anything ever, which is comforting.  I'd be ok with my mom in there too, since she's the same way, but any body else in my circle - NO.  I know my dad will be hurt I don't have him on "the list", which is just weird to me, but he's just going to have to get over it.
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  • I'm not all that concerned. I grew up in a medical family so everything was talked about. Now no men but DH and medical staff are aloud in the room but I plan on having DH, my mom, MIL, and my 2 SIL's in the room to witness.
  • I don't see myself caring at all. I just want him out, can't sneeze our babies out right?
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  • Is it weird that I feel more modest in general about my boobs than I do about "down there"? I need to get over this, especially with breastfeeding. But I'd be uncomfortable if I wasn't able to cover up on top during labor.
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  • image Allison546:
    Is it weird that I feel more modest in general about my boobs than I do about "down there"? I need to get over this, especially with breastfeeding. But I'd be uncomfortable if I wasn't able to cover up on top during labor.

    I'm the same way. I am not concerned about people looking "down there".

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  • My OB is super composed and efficient and that really puts me at ease. I swear she did my pap in under 10 seconds, and she even managed to make eye contact during it and talks the whole time. She spent about 3 seconds down there for my strep B culture. She doesn't even pause for warnings: she's in/she's out.

    As for the nurses, they have been there a million times and I assume my lady bits look ordinary to them. Pooping does worry me though, my sister said it freaked her out too but it was NBD when it happened--they have a cover under you to catch it and they switch it out super fast.

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  • Nope. Women aren't kidding when they tell you that you won't give a flying f*ck when the time comes. You really really won't. Not even for a second. Won't even cross your mind. Honestly.
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  • I ended up with. Csection but even durning labor i told my husband and mom no one looks down there.. Maybe it would have been different if it came to deliverly time but for me I stayed modest

     

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  • image Kie310:
    Nope. Women aren't kidding when they tell you that you won't give a flying f*ck when the time comes. You really really won't. Not even for a second. Won't even cross your mind. Honestly.
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  • image Kie310:
    Nope. Women aren't kidding when they tell you that you won't give a flying f*ck when the time comes. You really really won't. Not even for a second. Won't even cross your mind. Honestly.
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  • image Kie310:
    Nope. Women aren't kidding when they tell you that you won't give a flying f*ck when the time comes. You really really won't. Not even for a second. Won't even cross your mind. Honestly.

    This exactly.

    ETA:  Sorry my post showed up 3 times.  No idea what happened there...

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  • image Brit242:

    image Kie310:
    Nope. Women aren't kidding when they tell you that you won't give a flying f*ck when the time comes. You really really won't. Not even for a second. Won't even cross your mind. Honestly.

    This exactly.

    Ditto.  Those nurses and doctors have seen it all.  Really.  They'll be looking at your ladybits like it was a foot or something.  When you're pushing that baby out, I can assure you no nurse or doctor is thinking "oh man, her vag looks weird" or judging your pubic hair style. 

    And even if they are, you wont care. 

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  • I was worried about that too -- but really, once you're in the moment, possibly in pain, you really don't care. Thankfully, I think your head prepares you for this and modesty is put aside for the help you'll be getting from the nurses and doctors.
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  • Eh I am a pretty modest person and I didnt care what so ever. Honestly alk that was on my mind was getting her out safely and making sure she was healthy. MH and my mom saw her actually coming out and never once was my mom all like "eww vagina!" She said and still will say that its the coolest thing she has ever seen.
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  • My MIL put it nicely...when you go to the hospital to deliver you check your modesty at the door, and pick it up on your way home.

    I only plan to have DH in the delivery room with me and the rest will be the medical professionals who have seen it a million times before. And in recovery people can visit, but when it's time to feed, I'd prob be more comfortable with just females in the room (or DH)

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