Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Does it ever get easier?

Hi. I've never posted on any of the loss boards. I guess I've been in denial for the last 6.5 months. I hope it's ok that I post here.

In May, on our 13 cycle, we finally got our BFP. A week later I had a cp. My husband's and my heart was shattered. I made up my mind that we would get pregnant within the 3 months we had left before we had to take a break due to my husband'sjob. Well I fooled myself.

Now with 7ish weeks left until my EDD. I can't seem to shake my sad days. To top it off I work with a girl that is due on that date. I have days where I feel like I'm moving on but then I go back to being so incredibly sad. I've noticed it more lately with the holidays and my due date approaching.

I don't really have anyone to talk to. Communication with DH is really limited and I don't want to have emotional conversations with him being gone. My mom just makes me feel worse even though she means well and I can tell my sisters are uncomfortable when I say anything to them.

Sorry for my rambling. I just wonder if I'll ever not be sad. Thanks for reading... If you made it this far.
 TTC#1 Since April 2011 
BFP#1 5.23.12 C/P 4w4d 
BFP #2 10.1.13
EDD June 10, 2014
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Re: Does it ever get easier?

  • I thought it started to get better, never easy. Until we just found out today that we are experiencing a second loss after going ten weeks thinking everything was going great. I hate everything right now. Sorry I'm not much help... Babies, pregnant mommies, on tv and everywhere else have bothered me and fianc
    We're both very quiet besides my on and off tears.
    My bet wishes to you that things get better, I just keep trying to remember I will have two beautiful angels to greet me in heaven someday, and that they escaped this world and are happy and comfortable

    Hugs
    image
  • While in time, it does get a little bit easier to function after a loss, grief is by no means a linear process.  It's very normal to have good days and bad days, and sometimes you might feel "okay" for a while and then suddenly be overcome with grief of your loss.   I'm new to pregnancy loss , though I've experienced the sudden death of a spouse (not the same but not entirely different), and I think it's very normal for dates to cause anxiety during grief.  With my late husband it was birthdays, anniversaries, and the date of his death, so I think it's very normal that following a pregnancy loss the EDD would be one of those dates that will make you sad leading up to the day on the calendar.  

    I guess what I'm trying to say is that what you are describing makes perfect sense and sounds very normal.   This place is a good resource for finding other women who have been through what you are going through, and I have found it very helpful. 

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  • I am sorry for your loss. I think with the holidays, your approaching EDD and DH being gone your feelings are completely justified. This is a good place for you with women who understand and will listen when you need to get something off your chest.

    imageimageimage
    TTC since 2.12 
    BFP 11.14.12 (MC 12.2.12) EDD 7.24.13 
    Dx: Unexplained IF 12.13, Endometriosis 1.14
    IUI#1+Clomid 1.3.14 Missed Ectopic identified 1.28.14 (EDD 9.26.14) Lap. Surgery
    IUI#2.0+Letrozole Cancelled 1.28.14. IUI#2.1+Letrozole Cancelled 4.22.14
    IVF 6 eggs Retrieved 5 Fertilized 7.22.14 1 Blastocyst Transfer 7.27.14 
    BFP 8.5.14 Due 4.15 Feeling hopeful.
      All Welcome

  • I am so sorry for your loss :( I agree with PP who have said that the grief comes in waves. Things like hearing others announce pregnancy, the holidays, passing your EDD - I feel like all those times can bring all those bad feelings to the surface. You are completely normal for what you are feeling!

    My husband also often has to be gone for long periods of time. It has to make it harder when you are dealing with so much at once - his absence, your loss grief, being around people who are pregnant. Please be kind to yourself and know that its okay to feel like sh!t sometimes, and its okay to have bad days. Sending you very big hugs.  

    Love is multiplied: DS #1: 1.5.99 ~ DS #2: 9.23.11 ~ DD 8.29.13

    m/c 11/12/12 - sleep tight baby bean.

    Bitty Baby #4, please stick around - we already love you so very much!

    Ultrasound 11/4 - TWO HEARTBEATS!!!

    BabyFruit Ticker

  • image Avion22:

    While in time, it does get a little bit easier to function after a loss, grief is by no means a linear process.  It's very normal to have good days and bad days, and sometimes you might feel "okay" for a while and then suddenly be overcome with grief of your loss.   I'm new to pregnancy loss , though I've experienced the sudden death of a spouse (not the same but not entirely different), and I think it's very normal for dates to cause anxiety during grief.  With my late husband it was birthdays, anniversaries, and the date of his death, so I think it's very normal that following a pregnancy loss the EDD would be one of those dates that will make you sad leading up to the day on the calendar.  

    I guess what I'm trying to say is that what you are describing makes perfect sense and sounds very normal.   This place is a good resource for finding other women who have been through what you are going through, and I have found it very helpful. 

    Totally agree with this. It does get easier, but it's totally understandable that certain dates, holidays, events bring up the emotions all over again.

    imageimage
    BFP with #1 (twins!) 11/18/2011 - missed m/c at 8weeks3days; d&c 1/19/2012; myomectomy to remove 18cm+,10cm & 5cm fibroids 4/2012; TTC again 7/2012; BFP #2 (twins) 11/13/2012; missed m/c at 7weeks;
    BFP #3: baby girl born 3/5/2014

    Balaustine: an anthology about wanting family
  • Thanks ladies. I feel like we were robbed. Thank you for such kind words.
     TTC#1 Since April 2011 
    BFP#1 5.23.12 C/P 4w4d 
    BFP #2 10.1.13
    EDD June 10, 2014
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    imageimageimage
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