Toddlers: 24 Months+

Potty Training will be the death of me..

 Sorry it's so long...

I am so at my wits end with this...I am literally out of ideas or direction of what to do next! My son turned 2 in September. Some would say he's still too young to be potty-trained, like his Doctor that says it's not a 'true concern' for her until he's 3. Others say, if he's ready he can be trained in 3 days, like other parents saying they trained their children at 18 months. My son has to be showing all the signs...he comes to us and tells us he's peed or poo-poo'd. He brings US the diapers and wipes to change him. Someone suggested we try sitting him on it every hour or so for 15 min until he goes in it, so we can praise him and do the big celebration. But all he does is fight and scream like he hates it. So people told us not to force it on him because then he'd see sitting on it like a punishment and rebel against it even more. Okay...there have been so many times that we've had to clean poop off his bed, off the walls, off our clothes, because he will go in his diaper and then take it off and hide it and then come running to us with poop all over his hands or legs...sorry if this is TMI but I'm told this is apparently normal for his age. This tells me that he is starting to become irritated with sitting in a soiled diaper...sometimes immediately because there will be times I change a wet diaper, let him go play and less than 10 minutes later he comes running in, covered in a mess. I've tried keeping pants on him so I can get to him before he makes a mess and try to explain to tell Mommy and Daddy when he has to go but, nothing. There was actually a time he got up at 3 am and did this and I was up cleaning poop from around the house until 4 in the morning. He knows what his potty is for, because sometimes he will poop, yank off his diaper, make various messes and THEN be eager to sit on it..just to fight and scream to get off it 5 minutes later. I don't have any more ideas. But things can't seriously continue this way until next September! If he can ask to be changed, he hates his soiled diapers, he knows the feeling of going to the bathroom because he tells us when it happens and he knows what his potty is for, how can he NOT be ready? Sad

Re: Potty Training will be the death of me..

  • give it some more time. it's very frustrating indeed, but cut both you and him some slack and wait another couple months or so.

    in the meantime pick up and read some potty books if you haven't already. also, i've recently been made aware of some DVD that's supposed to be amazing for them to feel like they're big kids and in control.

    my daughter will be three at the end of the month and while she was doing really great, she totally refuses now. no sense in getting either of us worked up about it; it'll happen when it happens (but i totally understand the frustrations)

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  • We did Lora Jensen's 3 day method and it worked really well for us. It still took us a week to help DD get over her fear of pooping on the toilet, but she mastered peeing within 3 days. The only "readiness" they need to be showing is that they have to be at least 22 months old before you try. My DD was 25 months old when we did it and had ZERO interest in PTing. I would get Lora's ebook, read through it (it's really short and will take you maybe 10-15 minutes to get through) and give it a go if you really want to be done with it. I liked it because I'd much rather rip a bandaid off then slowly tear it. The first 2 days are messy and exhausting, but it was so worth it to be able to have a PT'd toddler within days. 
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  • Have you tried keeping a onesie on him under his clothes? DS knows how to get out of one if he REALLY wants to, but it's at least a deterrent most of the time.
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  • This...DS has to be in a onesie because he's into taking his clothes off. He's not near ready to potty trained yet.
  • image jamdv3:
    We did Lora Jensen's 3 day method and it worked really well for us. It still took us a week to help DD get over her fear of pooping on the toilet, but she mastered peeing within 3 days. The only "readiness" they need to be showing is that they have to be at least 22 months old before you try. My DD was 25 months old when we did it and had ZERO interest in PTing. I would get Lora's ebook, read through it (it's really short and will take you maybe 10-15 minutes to get through) and give it a go if you really want to be done with it. I liked it because I'd much rather rip a bandaid off then slowly tear it. The first 2 days are messy and exhausting, but it was so worth it to be able to have a PT'd toddler within days. 

    We also did this, and I agree that it's worth it. The first 2 days are exhausting and frustrating, but it really does work. I think it's really important to talk up being a big kid and to be really excited about the whole idea of underwear. Maybe if he's just in underwear it will be easier to get him on the potty. I truly think its the quickest way to potty train, and if you're ready to be done with it, you should check it out.

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  • Thank you ladies for all the great advice!! I will definitely check out that book, it seems any little bit will help at this point lol :)
  • image Leap08:

    image jamdv3:
    We did Lora Jensen's 3 day method and it worked really well for us. It still took us a week to help DD get over her fear of pooping on the toilet, but she mastered peeing within 3 days. The only "readiness" they need to be showing is that they have to be at least 22 months old before you try. My DD was 25 months old when we did it and had ZERO interest in PTing. I would get Lora's ebook, read through it (it's really short and will take you maybe 10-15 minutes to get through) and give it a go if you really want to be done with it. I liked it because I'd much rather rip a bandaid off then slowly tear it. The first 2 days are messy and exhausting, but it was so worth it to be able to have a PT'd toddler within days. 

    We also did this, and I agree that it's worth it. The first 2 days are exhausting and frustrating, but it really does work. I think it's really important to talk up being a big kid and to be really excited about the whole idea of underwear. Maybe if he's just in underwear it will be easier to get him on the potty. I truly think its the quickest way to potty train, and if you're ready to be done with it, you should check it out.

    Another vote for Lora Jensen!  DD2 had no interest and it worked. I did want to tear my hair out at the end of day 2 though, but I powered though and day three was like magic!  We still do pullups at night (I know it's against the rules) but we did do underwear at night while she was "learning".

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  • If he won't sit and screams when you ask him to do so, he's not ready.  Put duct tape on his diaper so he can't get it off.

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  • It sounds like he's not ready. If he doesn't want to sit on the potty, you can't force him thus potty training isn't going to happen. I've read that putting the diaper on backwards helps too. Maybe you can try that (or the duct tape) coupled with a onesie. Good luck!
  • Believe me when I say I understand some of your frustration. DD was showing all the signs of being ready. On top of that people kept telling me that PTing girls was supposed to be so much easier than boys...these people do not know MY DD. With DD2 due last March I was really anxious to get DD1 out of diapers. Tried both a 3 day method and a 1 day method...EPIC FAIL. Talked to my pedi and he told me there was nothing I could do if she wasn't ready. The parent educator at our early childhood class said the exact same thing (she has been working with parents of toddlers for 15+ yrs and is a mother of 3-one of which didn't PT til 3.5 yrs). They both said to just relax and take a break. We were really casual about just keeping the potty chairs in the bathrooms, leaving a sticker chart on the wall, pull-ups on hand, etc. Literally one day about a month ago I asked her if she wanted to sit on the potty and she said yes...she sat down and went and she was basically totally day trained in 2 days with no extra effort from me. At the time it was very frustrating and felt like she was NEVER going to do it. Looking back I am so glad we just waited. Long story short...duct tape that diaper and try to be patient.
  • I would hold off PT for a bit.  Have him help you clean up the messes he makes and don't show your frustration, he maybe doing these things because he can get a rise out of you...
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  • image mrsh0606:

    If he won't sit and screams when you ask him to do so, he's not ready.  Put duct tape on his diaper so he can't get it off.

    This for sure. Don't get in this battle of wills with your LO. He will win. 

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  • Have you thought about letting him pick out a potty seat he likes.  Some of them come with really cute characters and might be a motivation.

     I have also heard that onesies help with poop smearing.

     I don't have many suggestions because DS is 32 months and we are not even considering potty training at this point. He has no interest and I am not getting into a battle of wills.  As someone said, he will win. 


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  • Thank you so much everyone...reading the comments "If you get into a battle of wits with your son, he will win." hit home haha I'd like to think as a grown woman that I can outlast, am smarter and more clever than my TWO year old but I guess it's obvious he's taken me down! I'm gonna read up for more info for sure but I think waiting is the best advice you guys could give...it's true, if he's not ready, it won't happen I guess. I guess we'll see in a few months :-/
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