I love my IL's because they are so nice and would do anything for you and really just want to be there, but they are driving DH and I nuts. They cannot seem to grasp the fact that DH and I have our own immediate family now and that they are not necessarily included in that. Last summer SIL planned a "family vacation" for all of us to go on with her and DH's bio dad. So basically our week long summer vacation was planned for us. We said ok but we are not going to make a habit of this because we want to be able to go on our own vacation. Then MIL and Step FIL said they wanted to plan a large family vacation for this summer. We said ok but this is the last time we are doing this. Now DH's uncle is also planning a large family vacation for this summer that we are expected to go on. We told MIL that if we do that one we are not doing the one she wanted to do because we don't want to do both in a summer and we are NOT do a large extended family vacation next year or really for the next several years because we want to have time to go with our kids somewhere. Well now we are being told that not only did his uncle book the trip he was planning but MIL also booked the trip she was planning and she expects us to be at both. They do this kind of crap every year at about this time they start planning summer get togethers and eat up every weekend we have. I'm sick of it! I want to be able to plan my summer how I want to plan it. Shoot I want time to see my family or spend time with just my kids. If we plan something with our kids, they invite themselves along. DH and I have both said stuff to them but it doesn't seem to sink in. DH is in another state on business right now and MIL is mad we didn't send her his flight info. He travels all the time for work and he's a 31 year old man, he doesn't need to check in with mommy anymore. She sees the kids all the time yet will say that we are shutting them out. She's here 3 times a month and we live an hour away. Heck we don't even open Christmas presents at our own house because we travel to see family on the holiday. (Santa travels and we rotate going to my parents or the ILs) I love them I really do but I just wish they would realize that we have our own family now and that we want them to be involved with our kids but we need time to be our own family. Anyone else have issues with ILs or parents who just don't seem to understand that you have your family now.