This has been a long week followed by a wretched weekend. I'm so tired and had appointments all day. I'm extremely discouraged with breastfeeding and I just want to go to sleep.
LO has a milk allergy and is still having problems even though I cut out dairy almost a month ago. I cut out soy a week ago. I will continue to cut out all known allergens until she feels better. Unfortunately that doesn't leave much to eat.
Without getting into details, my BIL (who lives with us) went to the hospital last night because of mental issues. He's been off his meds against the advice of his doc for a few months, and everything crashed and burned this weekend. Thankfully he's not dangerous and no one was hurt. It was just stressful as hell.
At the suggestion of the GI specialist, I have been giving LO formula only since Thu afternoon and pumping/dumping to keep my supply going. The idea was to do this for about a week to give her system a chance to heal up. It's like I have a new baby. The problem is that the doc gave us a sample can of EleCare and we ran out yesterday, so we put her on Nutramigen. Last night I decided to nurse her for her 3am and 6am feeding. Today she started getting fussy and there is a little blood-tinged mucus in her poop again. FFS is it too much to ask that I be able to feed my baby without essentially poisoning her? It's such a mind-f*ck to know that my milk makes her sick, and formula makes her all better.
I hope the Nutramigen agrees with her system because the EleCare is way too expensive. I know that sounds really crappy but seriously - one can of it lasted just barely over 2 days and it's $36. If I FF exclusively, that would be over $400 a month.
I had my post-baby check-up today and a dental appointment this afternoon. I got two fillings done. I joked about being poked and prodded in both openings but neither appointment was fun. I left LO with my SIL, and apparently she napped wonderfully. This kid will not nap for me, but she naps for daddy, grandma, a cousin, and now my SIL. She's wide awake right now.