Move over, I'm coming back :( {maybe siggy? tried to remove}

jap618

Hey guys,  I was here back in August with my first loss.  Here's a little history.  We started TTC on our 1 year wedding anniversary (6/18) & got pregnant right away.  I started bleeding at 9w6d & we had a D&C on 10w2d.  The baby had stopped growing at 5.5 weeks but the sac continued to grow until 8 weeks.  I got my first AF 8 weeks later and ovulated 2 weeks later & conceived again.  I got my 2nd BFP November 2nd and figured this could be the best or the worst holiday season, ever.  Well my biggest fear has come true   We went in for an u/s at 6w0d and we saw the baby & a heart beat.  The u/s tech never documented that we saw the heart beat though.  I felt pretty good about things but PgAL wasn't going away.  We went for another u/s for dating & viability at 7w6d and there was no heart beat, but because the first tech hadn't reported that we had already seen it we were scheduled for ANOTHER u/s today 8w6d.  It has all been confirmed and I'll be scheduling my d&c in the am.  The baby stopped growing around 6w3d so I could take the pill but at this point I'm so exhausted, I've been crying and having panic attacks for a week because of the stupid tech who didn't do her job.  I just need closure and for this to be over.  I can't even begin to think about the fact that we've had 2 m/c.  I'm devistated, horrified, exhausted, embarrassed, angry, sad, jealous of all of my close friends and family members that are pregnant or have children.  We have no clinical indicators (as most of us don't I'm sure), we're 26 & 27 and in the best shape of our lives, we have no family history, blah blah blah.  THIS IS F*CKING B*LLSH*T.  I just want answers, I want an explanation, I want some sort of reasoning for why this happened, again I hate this, none of this is fair and I'm so sorry that you guys have all had to go through this. 

camdenfaithful

Oh honey I am so sorry for your loss.  I always tell the ladies on here they can feel whatever way they want but PLEASE do not feel embarrassed.  I'm so sorry for the roller coaster you have been through the past few weeks.  (((((HUGS))))

Beccabby

Im so sorry for both of your losses. Go ahead and feel what you need to feel, no one here is going to judge you. take care of yourself.

Avion22

I'm so so sorry for what you have been going through.   I agree that all of your emotions are normal, and generally I would say to let yourself experience all of the emotions you are going through.  But -- you really don't need to feel embarrassed.  NONE of this is your fault, and you have done NOTHING wrong.  There is no shame in what you've gone through or what you're feeling.     

bunnybun4

my heart breaks for you.  this board has been so great for me...we are all here for you and we know exactly what you are going through.

hugs.

ellajune2012

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm here for the second time as well and I hear you!! *hugs*

Jessica&Levin

We are in almost same boat as you, also 26 and 27.. 10weeks4days and found out today that baby stopped growing at 6 1/2 weeks.. First baby we found out at 8 weeks baby stopped at 6 weeks. Neither one did I have cramping or bleeding first one I had tiny spotting.
Thinking of you, we go back Monday for another ultrasound and schedule dc