So today was my second day back at work. I work as a bartender right now. And if you have worked in the industry or have friends in the industry, you know that you are done when you are done regardless of what your schedule says. Yesterday was fine. Today on the other hand meltdown central.
I spilled coffee on myself and a coworker on accident. He got super pissed off. No one got burnt. And I don't usually cry over such things but I started. Then whenever he saw me for the rest of the night would say things like "don't spill on me" or "watch out" or jump out of the way if I was near. I would typically laugh at that kind of stuff but every time he did it, it just made me feel awful and want to cry again.
Then I texted my mom to see how H was and she told me he was eating like crazy, that she spilled half a bottle, and was trying to get more defrosted. So then I immediately start panicking that there won't be enough for him and they'll give him formula.
Well my scheduled out time was 8. That was a joke. I had people there until almost 10. So I'm closing up and literally walking out the door when my manager asks me to work tomorrow. Seriously?!? His response was well your mom watches him so it should be no big deal right? Umm wrong. If you've read any of my posts before you know my mom and I have our issues. Pretty major ones at that. And regardless of that, she didn't ask for this and can't just live her life like that. So I tell him I'll get back to him in the morning.
I fly home. I live 30 minutes from work. Which to some may not seem that far, but it's wayyyy further than I'd like it to be. I get home and break down in tears. My mom looks at me and says you're home with your baby, be happy. Which makes me cry harder. Then she just walks away sayin she can't deal with this right now.
I just want to curl up in bed with baby H and never to back to work. A/ so I can be with him all the time. And b/ so I don't harve to deal with my mom and the assorted issues that entails.
If you read all that, thank you, I'm sorry it was long.