Sorry if this is a little long, but I'm looking for some input on what you ladies would do...here's the back story.
Our first LO is due in late February and my SIL is due in early May (also their first...talk about an excited grandma!). DH's immediate family all lives locally, my entire family is 7-8 hours away. My mom asked a while ago if I wanted a shower in my home town. I gratefully declined, I don't want to be traveling that distance when I'm that far along, we have a very small family with very few women, and most of my high school and college friends moved far far away. I'd rather just wait until our first visit home with DD and maybe have those few people over for lunch or something to meet the baby.
Last night, I overheard my MIL ask DH for a guest list of people I would want to invite to my shower, making me think she's planning some kind of a surprise shower because when I asked him he said I must have heard it wrong (with a giant smirk on his face...). I'm grateful she is willing to throw a shower, it's a very nice gesture, but I really don't have anyone to invite. I work with all men, I haven't really made any friends in this area since we only moved here 2 years ago, and there aren't many women in DH's family either. The guest list would literally be MIL, SIL, 2 aunts, and 2 family friends. My SIL has already given my MIL her list if invites for her shower - over 100 women (family, 2 jobs, large group from HS and college). I don't want to seem ungrateful, it's a very nice gesture for MIL to offer (even if I'm not supposed to know about it yet) but I'm worried she will see my pathetic guest list and beef it up with her friends, some from SIL's guest list and other people who I'm not close with and I think that would seem awkward and gift-grabby. When she mentioned a shower a few weeks ago, asking if anyone had offered to throw one, I said no, but that it was okay because I wouldn't have very many people to invite anyways and that I really don't mind. I think that caused her to start planning this out of pity because my SIL is hoping for such a large event. I genuinely don't mind not having a shower, I'm not at all offended by her having a shower, and I will happily attend and help with whatever I can (depending on when it is compared to when our own LO arrives).
What would you do? Let her plan the shower? Insist on the very small guest list? Let her add some guests who I hardly know? Gratefully decline? Mention the plan for my side of the family (I guess it's called a "sip n see"?) and suggest that as an option for the few women I mentioned earlier?
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated...but please keep in mind I'm fairly new to all of this (I've only been to 1 baby shower when I was 12) so please be gentle :) If I'm way out of line on something, it wasn't intentional.
Thanks!! And happy Friday :)