December 2012 Moms

Rude about leave?

I'm taking roughly 6 weeks off for the baby and when I tell people that I get

 

"Oh...really?  Why don't you take 12 weeks?  Don't you want to be home with your new baby?"

 

My replacement that I'm training said something to that effect. ugh 

 

So I've got mommy guilt before the baby.  Awesome. What is it about being pregnant that allows people no filter?

Re: Rude about leave?

  • I don't understand people sometimes.  There are some women who can't afford to take their full maternity leave, or some that only get the 6wks that is required, or lord forbid they work part-time and aren't afforded the luxury of leave.

    And I'm sorry who really get's 12wks unless you are having a c-section, in which you're using most of that time to recoup from surgery.  I'm really, really lucky in that I get 8wks paid leave.  It eats into my vacation and sick time, but even once that's used I still get paid at 75%.  

    I think at this point in my pregnancy I would have told her to mind her own F'N business and if she's that worried about it, she can pay me to stay home. LOL

     

  • Yea I could stretch it to 8 weeks paid leave but then I would have no emergency sick/personal time to use.  I figure at 6 weeks I can come back PT for two weeks and still have a few days to play with when I first come back.

     

    I'm super jealous of people who can get 12 weeks.  My employer said I could take 12 but I won't get paid for them unless I have the time built up. (we have less then 50 so we don't qualify for FMLA, but even still it's not like FMLA will pay me) 

     

    My "maternity leave" is whatever I have banked.  Thankfully my employer is  letting me roll over about ten days from this year into next (normally we can only roll over 5).

  • We're the same way - I get paid whatever I have banked, and then can take additional time off unpaid.  I'm taking 12 weeks, but still kind of have mommy guilt because a lot of people in my profession take ~6 months (it's not an 8-5 type job, and coming back means working 50-60 hours some weeks).  Thankfully I have 10.5 weeks banked, and we've decided that we can live without one of my paychecks.  For baby #2 though, I'm going to be pretty screwed -- I've been here 8.5 years, which is why I have 10.5 weeks built up and won't have that luxury with #2.

    Anyway.... Anyone that's been nosy enough to ask about the circumstances of my leave, I'd just said that my SO and I have talked about it, and we're taking what we can afford for me to take.  Once you put it in those terms, not many people will say anything more.

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  • My situation is kind of the opposite.  I have some mommy guilt because I'm taking 12 weeks when the standard people take here is 6.  Some people look at me like a slacker when I say I'm taking the full 12.  Our Executive Director is due the same day I am and will be taking 12 weeks also, so that does help a bit. 
     
    Our maternity benefits aren't great, either.  I'm only able to take 12 weeks because I have a lot of leave time stored.  The first 6 weeks will be at 70% then the next 6 will be at 100% using my time.  We wouldn't be able to afford having me off 6 additional weeks if I didn't get paid for it.
     
    It must be nice for people who ask you that question.  Obviously they don't need the money?  That's what I would say to them, but I'm full of snark and irritation these days!
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  • Oh gosh. I am so sorry. Who the heck does or says that?? 

    I know. I don't know quite what it is about people. Yesterday I had a woman criticize me for drinking coffee, ask me if I am carrying twins and tell me that she thought it was weird it took me a while to conceive this baby when for her it was easy. I nearly face punched her. No lie. 

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  • I am so beyond sick of unsolicited advice, comments, etc. I just want to scream SHUT UP! I might. One more piece of advice that I don't ask for is getting nothing but snark. I get it. I'm a FTM. But piss off already.
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  • I'm sorry people are being rude. They just don't seem to get that every family situation is different - for every occurance.

    With my 2nd, I was a single mom & a teacher - Summer school started June 1, lo was due May 1 but not born til May 13 - I had to go back to work when she was 2 wks old - no other options.

    Start to develop your thicker skin - there will always be others who think they have the right to question, nay-say, or downright condemn you for parenting choices. 

     

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  • I can feel your pain. I'm only taking 4 weeks off and people are horrified. I tell them we can't afford for me to be out any longer then that and they just say "Well you just make it work because the extra time is worth it."  Um, not when we lose our house and have to live out of our car its not!
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  • image SummerOH:
    My situation is kind of the opposite.  I have some mommy guilt because I'm taking 12 weeks when the standard people take here is 6.  Some people look at me like a slacker when I say I'm taking the full 12. 
     
    Our maternity benefits aren't great, either.  I'm only able to take 12 weeks because I have a lot of leave time stored. 

    I'm the same as you. People look at me like I am a " bad employee" for taking more than 6-8 weeks.  Then they tell me how "bored" they think I'm going to be at home.  DH and I have saved and I only get 7-8 weeks of paid leave but we can afford for me to be off for 4 weeks without pay.  I wish people would mind their own business.

    The interesting thing that I'm finding is that women are less understanding than most of the men.  My male co-workers have encouraged me to take more time because their wives did and have had positive experiences with it.

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  • I'm taking 7 weeks, unpaid, and I hae everyone telling me that won't be enough or that I will end up quitting and never come back...to which I reply, well, as nice as that might be, my DH and I kinda need the 2 paychecks. 

    Im not a terrible mother for going back to work, but seriously, you think I wouldn't take more time if I could?!?!??!! 

    Anniversary
  • image LadyTimot:
    What is it about being pregnant that allows people no filter?


    I KNOW!!!
    so, so, so, sick of all the unsolicited input from everyone everywhere!!
    The constant comparisons to other peoples' pregnancies, sizes, skin, time off, eating habits, work hours, driving choices, names, gear, furniture....STOP!!

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  • It's none of their business how long you are home with your baby.  Only you know what's best for your family and your finances.
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