I want to start with the fact that I love my mother...she just makes me insane occasionally.
She is coming in the 15th and staying for a while, which is great, I'll have somebody here while DH works and she really loves to clean and take care of things. However...She is sneaky and has pissed me off...
I have had a few complications early in the 3rd trimester and my doctors are not sure that I will make it to my due date. I say doctors because I have my normal OB and then the high risk doctors...both of which have given me 2 different due dates. Both are within a few days of each other, and baby is measuring a week ahead, so who knows when I'll have this kid.
Anyway, because of this my mother has decided that I will be home for Christmas with the baby...and she is staying after the baby is born until I snap and kick her out. Again, I am thankful for the support and help she wants to give...or I was.
I learned from my younger sister that she (mother) has decided to cook Christmas dinner at my house...for around 13 people. NO, she did not run this by me AT ALL nor did she talk to my husband. In fact, I stated in MAY, that I would not have Christmas at my house this year, there would be no food, festivities or ANYTHING at my house this year, and she agreed with me!! back to the rant...Counted within these 13 people are 5 children, all of which are 2 and under. BTW, my nephew and sister have had MULTIPLE staph infections this year. And my brother in law (DHs brother) and his family live in a home that takes the word 'filthy' to a whole new level. These people will be in my house with potentially a newborn or a woman who is 40weeks pregnant...doesn't that sound like fun?!?!!! (Not)
She's also mentioned, when she was here for Thanksgiving that I don't need to worry about cleaning or trying to set up the air mattress in the office, she'll "fix everything" when she gets here....now, when I was in college and she'd come to visit and "fix" anything, I would come home from class to a totally rearranged house...or on one occasion a semi-packed house as she had bought one (in MY name) that morning and I could go ahead get ready to move. I'm mildly terrified.
Oh there is more...mother has invited my little sister and her children to stay in my house after I get home from the hospital. First of all...I don't even have a spare bedroom for my mother to sleep in much less another adult and 2 small children. Second of all, she did not ask me if I wanted people over, she's just inviting people stay with me!! Third, this is same sister with the the staph infections, a suppressed immune system, spoiled rotten 2 year old and a 4 month old. The two year old does what he wants, and I get in trouble with my mother when I correct or stop him...and the 4 month old has her days and nights mixed up...and when baby is up so is the 2 yr old. Now, my sister did ask me if I wanted her to stay, and I said sorry, but no, I think that might be too stressful for me at first. She was good with that, but is now semi-annoyed that my older sister is coming in January. Now, my older sister has teenagers who are NOT coming...and she's coming the 12th of January, not on the day I have the baby.
As for me having the baby.... Don't get me started on my mothers attitude about how I do not want anyone but hospital personnel and my husband in the delivery room. She's been trying to work her way around that since she found out I was pregnant. I swear that's why she is coming in early, so that she can take me to the hospital if DH is at work.
There will be a minimum of 6 people, counting my little sisters 2 kids...at the hospital when I have the baby...presuming they can all make the 6 hour drive before he's born...depends on how fast he comes I guess. Anyway, I'm really hoping the nurses are mean enough to keep them in the waiting room. My mother tends to railroad people to get what she wants, and I may lose my mind if all those people walk in the room.
Yes, I have spoken to her...to which she ignores me and just says I need to relax everything will be fine. My mother is the Queen of not hearing anything but the answer she wants. Meaning, she won't hear the answer 'no' ever, she just hears you say, 'ok, fine'. I know in her head her cleaning, cooking and taking care of everything is helpful to me...she doesn't see that it's stressful to me. She sees that my little sister has 2 children and that I may want her support after my son is born, she doesn't see that it would be overwhelming. When I have, over the years, stood by my wants and not let her take over...she kicks in to her other role, the Queen of Guilt Trips, and I just don't have the energy to fight her.
No, I haven't explained all of this to my husband. He would flip out, worse that I am, and ban her from the house...which would start a whole other level of chaos. What I have explained has only pissed him off, and he informed me that if he sees me getting upset, he's telling everyone "to get the f*ck out." His words, not mine.
i feel much better after the ranting...if you made it through all this I am very impressed. Now, I'm going to find my Gatorade and convince myself that no, I really shouldn't have ice cream for breakfast.