Working Moms

Soon to be a single, working mom

H and I have been having issues for a long time and finally decided to file for divorce last night.

So now I'm a working mom with a 2 year old and one on the way in February, looking for an apartment and trying to figure out all of that fun stuff.

I can't bring myself to go to the Single Parents board yet so I'm posting here.

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Re: Soon to be a single, working mom

  • I am not a regular poster here, but I just wanted to say I am sorry.  It must have been tough to make that decision.

    I am sure it will be hard but you can do it.  Sending you strength.

     

    BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12

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  • I am sorry and I wish you a lot of luck. It can be a tough road.

    The single board seems to be dead but I am sure blended families would make room for you and could give you some help on the specific things to consider in your situation.

     

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  • I'm sorry you're going through a tough time :o(
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  • I'm so very sorry you're going through this.
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  • I'm sorry that you are going through this.  Good luck to you.
    DS born 8/8/09 and DD born 6/12/12.
  • I am so sorry about your situation.  You've got support here too!
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  • Thanks, mamas! Not really sure if I can handle it all but I'm trying.
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  • I'm sorry for your situation.  It's hard being a working mom, I'm sure you have quite a road ahead of you.  Even though I'm new to the board, I'm here for you and hope things go as smooth as possible! Hang in there! 
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  • First and foremost, I am so very sorry.  I am sure it's been a difficult road, and even more difficult to make the decision

    I have a couple of friends that are single parents, and I'm always amazed at how they handle it and have transitioned into it.  The one thing that seems clear from them is that it's one day at a time, and one thing at a time.  Also, identify your 'network' of who you can rely on to help.  

    Not sure what terms you'll be on with your ex, but if you can iron out details with him and not try to take everything on, can be extremely helpful from what I see.

     Best of luck, I'm so very sorry you're going through this. :( 

     

     

  • hugs! is there any way you could stay where you are living now? so sorry you are dealing with this now
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  • I am so sorry for your situation, I can only imagine all the emotions and how hard that decision was...I have a good friend who separated from her husband while pregnant with their 2nd child also (though it was a shock to her & not a mutual decision as yours sounds to be?) and I believe her mom stayed with her awhile after the baby was born and also her ex gave her quite a bit of monetary so that she could stay home longer than she ordinarily would have.  Even with a pretty terrible situation between the 2 of them, they made huge efforts to have an amicable relationship for the kids, he was & is still involved (it has been maybe 5-6 years now) and he even joined her, her new husband the kids on a trip to disney ... so I think so much depends on both of you & how you choose to approach it. I am very impressed w/ how healthy their relationship & involvement seems to be, at least from the outside...

    Good luck, I would say take advantage of any & all support networks who offer- if people ask what they can do, come up with something, whether it is helping w/ laundry, picking up a few things, bringing over dinner, watching your older one while you get things done, etc. 

  • I was a single parent for 10 years. It's hard but doable. I encourage you to work on a support system of some kind ... Mom, friends, neighbor..

    Come on over to the blended family board. There are women there with a variety of different circumstances.
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  • I'm so sorry.  That has to be so hard.  Good luck to you.  Please reach out to others in your life for support at this time.
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  • Chin up, you can do this. I went from being a stay at home mom to single working mom almost ovennight. A year and a half later, my XH and I have a good relationship and our 4.5 year old is thriving. It can be done and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Hire a good attorney asap.

  • In my heart I hope you can still work it out and find each other again. BUT, that doesn't mean I don't send you a thousand good vibes! I briefly thought about leaving DH once, I knew I'd get in a live in housekeeper/helper. When I was single I had a pretty big house and hated living alone, on room mates.com I got a great room mate. I traveled a ton for work, so she got to live in my house and took care of some of the things around it in exchange for dirt cheap rent. I planned it all out and stopped PMS'ing and went back to normal LOLOLOL Maybe you can find a student who wouldn't mind a room in your home in exchange for help. You can do back ground checks yourself.. Good luck
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  • There is not much new for me to add. I will say it takes a lot of strength to come to the decision of separating/divorce. Ultimately, you need to do what will make you happy.  Overcoming obstacles only makes us stronger. GL to you and keep us updated.

    ETA: There is a starting over board on GBCN

    http://www.pandce.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=so

    Mommy of two girls: DD1 4/14/9 DD2 4/15/11
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  • Oh, my heart breaks for you.  I can't imagine the stress.  My biggest suggestion is to get your support network set up now and make sure DH is prepared to share the load.  I'm sure emotionally you want some separation from him in order to heal.  But, in reality, you're going to need him around a lot.  As a working Mom with a 2.5 year old and a newborn, I can tell you it can be really tough, even with DH around all the time.  Good luck!


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  • Sorry to hear what you are going through, sending you strength....BTW, I noticed you are from CO...what parts?  I am in Colorado Springs.

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  • That must have been a very difficult decision for you. Thinking of you and wishing you the best as you go through this transition. I frequent the blog Law Momma (Spilled Milk and Other Atrocities). She's a single working Mom and just had great insight to working Mom's single or not. Lots of folks here on this board to give you support.
  • I'm so sorry. 
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  • I don't have any advice but I am so sorry! Sending you a big hug.
    BFP #1: 2/14/11. EDD: 10/20/11. Missed m/c discovered in April at 12 weeks, d&c. BFP #2: 12/27/11. EDD: 9/9/2012.
  • image littlebeansmama:
    Thanks, mamas! Not really sure if I can handle it all but I'm trying.

    First, I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I haven't been in your shoes, as I didn't have children when I divorced, but I do know how hard it can be to finally make that decision.  Just know that hard times won't last forever.

    Second, do not be afraid to reach out to family and friends for support. There are lots of ladies to talk to online, but nothing compares to a good hug from a real life friend. I'm one of those people who has a very hard time asking for help. I didn't tell my parents about my marital troubles until I had to moved back in with them. I also have a hard time having anyone watch our kids, especially my step son. Don't be like me... it's not bad to ask for help.  It's a good idea to also get in with a therapist. There are so many emotions to process with a divorce.. especially with a little one on the way, you need to stay healthy mind & body!

    I wish you the best of luck, keep your head up, life will be happy and good again!

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