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There is a mama who is (was?) on the the Bump expecting a daughter with Down Syndrome. I think her daughter is around 9ish months old now. Here is her blog:
I hope seeing another mom's story helps.
Another nestie posted this once when she found out her ds had Downs. She said it was helping her cope about the journey she now found herself on - I saved it because I thought it was beautiful. I hope it helps you as well. I hope you have a beautiful journey with your LO...in Holland.
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
I am due at the end of March 2013 with a boy with a 99% chance of having ds (had positive MaterniT21 test in Sept).
It was hard the first week or so, then after speaking with the president of the local ds group it gradually got better. I am back to enjoying this pg and am looking forward to meeting this child. Addressing the fears and the stereotypes has helped so much.
The board on babycenter is good, but actually talking with other parents in your local area is so much better.
I'd say it personally took me about a good month to feel positive about having a child with down syndrome. I kept reminding myself that all things considered, having a child with ds was better than losing another child (I'd already had 3 m/c) The more I learned, the less scared I became and the less scared I became the happier and more excited I was.
Regarding the Holland poem: I like to think that finding out about the ds while pg is like finding out that our tickets are for Holland early enough to have a chance to buy the guide books for Holland so we're not "stuck in the airport" when the baby is born....we get to do our "panicing" before arrival (delivery).