2nd Trimester

Are you taking your older children to your sonogram appt?

OK so my daughter is a sweet heart, very caring and likes to research everything just like me. She's 7 1/2. One of her teachers has been out for a long period of time caring for her baby who was born with health issues. This is her 1st week back. WELL the teacher explained to the children apparently exactly what was wrong with hr baby and all the surgeries ect she has had to go through. Now I like this teacher a lot so I'm not complaining about her in any way and I'm sure the kids were all asking questions. But now my poor child bless her she is worried sick about the our baby. she keeps asking if our baby has those same problems ect. 

I just felt so bad that she is worried about these things. My next sono I think I'm going to being my daughter so she can see that baby is perfectly fine.

Have any of you taken your older children to sono appts? My husband and I are finding out early at 16 weeks what we are having. So we can announce for Christmas and because his schedule is insane. Doing it at a separate/3D/4D sonogram facility allows us to make an evening appt that he can attend. So I'm thinking I will take her to my 20 week regular sono at the doctors office the 1st week of Jan. 

XOXO,
JM

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Re: Are you taking your older children to your sonogram appt?

  • I'd rather stick a fork in my eye but my daughter is 22 months old. I would absolutely take an older child. I think it'd be a great opportunity to calm some of her fears and keep her involved.

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    Layne-May 6, 2013

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  • image BoatsNHoes:
    I'd rather stick a fork in my eye but my daughter is 22 months old. I would absolutely take an older child. I think it'd be a great opportunity to calm some of her fears and keep her involved.

     

    LOL! I could understand that! If my daughter were younger I would say the same thing. I think my daughter is old enough and mature enough to enjoy going  and so she can see and hear from the doctor that baby is doing great. 

    XOXO,
    JM

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  • Normally, I don't think I would- but in your case, I think it's a good idea and will help her feel better and not worry.
  • I'd take a 7 1/2 year old, especially under the circumstances.

    You'll want to call and make sure she can go, though. The place I went to had a rule of no kids under the age of 10, but my ultrasound was done in the L&D of a hospital, so... 

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  • We took our not quite 4yo to both an earlier one and the anatomy scan, and she loved it, and I'm so glad we decided to.  I'd think a 7yo would be fine if she's interested, and especially if it will ease her fears.

    Do check that kids are allowed, at the radiology office my OB used to refer to before offering u/s in office, extra people under 18 weren't allowed.

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  • I would take her, she's old enough to behave and it sounds like it could be a good reassurance to her that everything is fine. I took my 3 yr old because I didn't have an option not to and he really surprised me, watched everything and even fell asleep on the chair lol.
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  • I'd take her to the elective one, not the 20w a/s.  The elective places are generally a little more kid/family friendly, and your a/s IS a medical appointment. Even thought she's old enough to behave well, I'd still pass on that. 
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  • No, I am sending my kids to daycare next week for our anatomy scan. 

    #1- it is stressful to have a 3.5 year old and 19 month old trapped in a room for an hour, and I don't want my focus to be on them instead of this baby.

    #2- if there were something wrong w/ the baby, I would NOT want my 3 year old to be there when we find out.  I want time to process it and figure out how to most appropriately share it with him.

    We are considering doing an elective U/S AFTER the anatomy scan at some point so that my 3 year old can see the baby.  He is interested, and I think if everything is ok it would be fun to bring him to that.

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  • image Grace0609:

    No, I am sending my kids to daycare next week for our anatomy scan. 

    #1- it is stressful to have a 3.5 year old and 19 month old trapped in a room for an hour, and I don't want my focus to be on them instead of this baby.

    #2- if there were something wrong w/ the baby, I would NOT want my 3 year old to be there when we find out.  I want time to process it and figure out how to most appropriately share it with him.

    We are considering doing an elective U/S AFTER the anatomy scan at some point so that my 3 year old can see the baby.  He is interested, and I think if everything is ok it would be fun to bring him to that.

    these are all good points. FI wanted to bring his daughter (3yrs) to the a/s, and I said no way. Especially if she were there and my daughter wasn't (she's 7 and I didn't want to take her out of school to sit for an hour). I wanted it to be a moment between me and my FI.

    You could probably just show her some of the pictures they're sure to print out, and that could alleviate some of her fears.

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  • We have taken our son to all of our ultrasounds.  8wk, 18wk, 23wk elective, and he'll be joining us at the 30 or 32wk growth scan.  He will be 2 the week before Christmas.  He has done an awesome job at every appt.  He usually stands next to the bed and holds my hand.  I want him to be totally involved with his little brother so he comes to every appt that daddy comes to (usually just ultrasounds).  I'm lucky to have a chill kid (for the most part) and I cleared it with the OB office and the U/S tech before we brought him with us.
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  • I would suggest taking your daughter. It would really help her worries and stress levels. My niece had a similar situation in Kindergarden. her teacher last her baby late in pg and was out for a while before returning. Instead of answering a million questions she sat the kids down and explained in children's terms what had happened. My SIL was pg at the time with her 3rd and her 2nd had been a premie and she was having some mild complications with her pg and was on bedrest. My niece was terrified that something was wrong with the baby. SIL took her with to the u/s and it really helped my niece to coop. The only thing "wrong" with baby (in my nieces eyes) was that it was a brother and not a sister. 
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  • image Jessicadbaker:

    image BoatsNHoes:
    I'd rather stick a fork in my eye but my daughter is 22 months old. I would absolutely take an older child. I think it'd be a great opportunity to calm some of her fears and keep her involved.

     

    LOL! I could understand that! If my daughter were younger I would say the same thing. I think my daughter is old enough and mature enough to enjoy going  and so she can see and hear from the doctor that baby is doing great. 

    Because of a scheduling mishap at my a/s, DH and I ended up having to take both DDs with us. They are 2 and 3 and did just fine. and it helped them realize that there is a baby in there, something they just didn't get before seeing it.  

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  • Total lurker here, but I just wanted to say that my parents took me to a sono for my sister when I was nine years old. It was a wonderful experience for all of us. (Even though the joke 'look, she's waving at us'' still haunts me because my parents continue to believe I was dead serious and keep making fun of me.) I'm so glad they did it.

     So I would do it! Even though the person here who said 'what if things are not ok with the baby?' has a valid point.

     

    Sorry for lurking... 

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  • My kids are teens and both think it's gross. They do not want to come. Maybe kids of a certain age would like to go.
  • My son is 18 months and I take him to all of my appointments (along with my husband). I like to think it helps him understand that there is something new happening in our lives. 

    Also, I have two younger (very much so younger; eight and nine at the time) siblings that I'm very attached to. When I was pregnant with my son I had them watch my sonogram that checked his gender. They loved it and it brought up and answered a lot of good questions. It also helps kids form an attachment to their new family member.

    I watched my first sister's birth at nine years old and it was a very enlightening experience for me. I understood how things worked and exactly how special it is to get a new baby and for the baby to be healthy. Granted I was very mature for my age and I would not recommend this for most children that age. 

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  • I would take her to an elective ultrasound place, but not a medical office.  My doctor dosent allow children under 12 in the room for ultrasounds.   Only one extra person is even allowed at ultrasounds, period. 

    I think it would be a lot tougher to take your daughter to see that the baby is perfectly fine, only to find out that it might not be, with her right there.   Unfortunately, it happens. 


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  • I took my 9 and my 5 year old to my appointment. They wanted so badly to find out if they were getting the sister they wanted that I just didn't have the heart to tell them no. They got their wish, we are having a girl. They were very well behaved. I would diffidently take a 7 1/2 year old.
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  • My daughter is 4 and we took her to our A/S. She loved being able to see the baby!! Plus, she had some pretty hilarious things to say about the things that she couldn't fully understand...
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  • My husband and I took both my 5 year old and my 2 year old to our appointment in our dr's office for the 'sex' appointment!  ha!  I've had some fertility issues so my 2 year old has been with me all along but not knowing what we were doing (she'd rather play games on the iTouch!). But I think having my daughters there to learn the sex of our third baby just added to the excitement!  If you're unsure about the office call in advance.  I have been using the same dr since I was 15 years old, so he's cool with my girls coming in and to be honest, he really enjoyed it!  Set them up with pictures for my oldest to take into her K class.  It was a really nice day!  Good luck!!
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  • First, if i were you, I might send the teacher an email that you are concerned about the amount of personal information she is sharing; whether you like her or not, it's not at all age appropriate for 7 1/2 year olds to hear the details of her child and the medical issues he/she is dealing with. Most 7 1/2 years olds cannot comprehend situations like that and it can be more scary than helpful - especially for children like your daughter who is expecting a sibling.

    I'm pretty high risk and have had almost weekly ultrasounds/fetal echocardiograms. I think I've probably had 15 ultrasounds so far. Due to the fact we have no child care options (and my husband travels for work every week), I have brought my 3.5 year old to every single one. Between travel time to the facility and the actual appointments, it turns into a 4 hour extravaganza every week. It's never been an issue - the Maternal Fetal Medicine office understands my situation and has never said that she couldn't come in. My daughter loves seeing her baby sister and hearing the heartbeat. She's fascinated with what's happening inside my body. I also make sure to be well prepared to keep her busy - we have special snacks, coloring books, the iPad (with headphones, of course). She is extremely well behaved during the appointments. We make it into a big adventure, and she actually looks forward to it (I, however, do not, for various reasons)!

    The concern about finding out there's something wrong with the baby at the appointments is always a concern - and they have found a couple of things that they are concerned about with the baby and it is sometimes difficult to hide my anxiety about it, but I do the best I can. I don't have any other options. She has never caught on or thought there was something wrong.

    If I had child care options, I probably wouldn't bring her, just because of the chance that I could get bad news and it would be easier to process without having to hide my emotions from her - and I would feel the same way if she were older. I guess you have to weigh how much it would impact you and your daughter if you were to get bad news (since she is old enough to realize what is going on) - although most ultrasounds are normal and a great experience.

    ETA: In your case, I would probably bring DD to the elective US, but not the actual anatomy scan a few weeks later. At the elective, it's just to find out sex and not diagnostic; they won't tell you if there's something wrong with the baby. I would skip the actual anatomy scan with her, only in case you get bad news; she doesn't really need to be a part of that.

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  • image drewiekc:
    I'd take her to the elective one, not the 20w a/s.  The elective places are generally a little more kid/family friendly, and your a/s IS a medical appointment. Even thought she's old enough to behave well, I'd still pass on that. 

    I live in a small town, so the doctors office which is at the hospital doesn't do the ultrasound. They send you to an outsourced office. So I do the ultrasound then the next day I go to my doc for my appt. But yes I agree if I was getting a full exam I wouldn't bring her.

     

    XOXO,
    JM

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  • image Trish&Pete07:
    I would suggest taking your daughter. It would really help her worries and stress levels. My niece had a similar situation in Kindergarden. her teacher last her baby late in pg and was out for a while before returning. Instead of answering a million questions she sat the kids down and explained in children's terms what had happened. My SIL was pg at the time with her 3rd and her 2nd had been a premie and she was having some mild complications with her pg and was on bedrest. My niece was terrified that something was wrong with the baby. SIL took her with to the u/s and it really helped my niece to coop. The only thing "wrong" with baby (in my nieces eyes) was that it was a brother and not a sister. 

     

    LOL! Yes if I end up having a boy my daughter will think the same thing.  

    XOXO,
    JM

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  • image mrsmcdonald:

    First, if i were you, I might send the teacher an email that you are concerned about the amount of personal information she is sharing; whether you like her or not, it's not at all age appropriate for 7 1/2 year olds to hear the details of her child and the medical issues he/she is dealing with. Most 7 1/2 years olds cannot comprehend situations like that and it can be more scary than helpful - especially for children like your daughter who is expecting a sibling.

    I'm pretty high risk and have had almost weekly ultrasounds/fetal echocardiograms. I think I've probably had 15 ultrasounds so far. Due to the fact we have no child care options (and my husband travels for work every week), I have brought my 3.5 year old to every single one. Between travel time to the facility and the actual appointments, it turns into a 4 hour extravaganza every week. It's never been an issue - the Maternal Fetal Medicine office understands my situation and has never said that she couldn't come in. My daughter loves seeing her baby sister and hearing the heartbeat. She's fascinated with what's happening inside my body. I also make sure to be well prepared to keep her busy - we have special snacks, coloring books, the iPad (with headphones, of course). She is extremely well behaved during the appointments. We make it into a big adventure, and she actually looks forward to it (I, however, do not, for various reasons)!

    The concern about finding out there's something wrong with the baby at the appointments is always a concern - and they have found a couple of things that they are concerned about with the baby and it is sometimes difficult to hide my anxiety about it, but I do the best I can. I don't have any other options. She has never caught on or thought there was something wrong.

    If I had child care options, I probably wouldn't bring her, just because of the chance that I could get bad news and it would be easier to process without having to hide my emotions from her - and I would feel the same way if she were older. I guess you have to weigh how much it would impact you and your daughter if you were to get bad news (since she is old enough to realize what is going on) - although most ultrasounds are normal and a great experience.

    ETA: In your case, I would probably bring DD to the elective US, but not the actual anatomy scan a few weeks later. At the elective, it's just to find out sex and not diagnostic; they won't tell you if there's something wrong with the baby. I would skip the actual anatomy scan with her, only in case you get bad news; she doesn't really need to be a part of that.

     

    Due to child care she will probably come with us to the elective one as well. But since it's my husband and I's 1st child together I'm really thinking he's wanting that to be for him and I to share together. We will see in 2 weeks what happens. My 20 week is only an ultrasound not a doctors appt. and the sonographer won't say anything is wrong she will send all the results to my doc who I see the next day. It's 1st thing in the morning so she is only missing a little bit of school and I've checked with the office and teacher who said she won't miss anything that's needed and she won't be counted tardy or absent since she will be back before 9 am. 

    My daughter is very mature for her age. Her and I have a tight bond and she likes to be a part and help with anything about the baby. The pictures it self she even has me make copies and put on her board in her room LOL. So that's why I was thinking taking her to my 20 wk appt. which my husband can't attend due to traveling with work. That way it's me and her, she will think it's special and it will like your said ease her mind.  

    XOXO,
    JM

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  • image Jessicadbaker:

    Due to child care she will probably come with us to the elective one as well. But since it's my husband and I's 1st child together I'm really thinking he's wanting that to be for him and I to share together. We will see in 2 weeks what happens. My 20 week is only an ultrasound not a doctors appt. and the sonographer won't say anything is wrong she will send all the results to my doc who I see the next day. It's 1st thing in the morning so she is only missing a little bit of school and I've checked with the office and teacher who said she won't miss anything that's needed and she won't be counted tardy or absent since she will be back before 9 am. 

    My daughter is very mature for her age. Her and I have a tight bond and she likes to be a part and help with anything about the baby. The pictures it self she even has me make copies and put on her board in her room LOL. So that's why I was thinking taking her to my 20 wk appt. which my husband can't attend due to traveling with work. That way it's me and her, she will think it's special and it will like your said ease her mind.  

    That sounds really nice for the two of you! It's good that your doctor's office does it that way, so she will be able to go. My doctor comes in at the end of each scan and immediately tells me what is going on, and it hasn't always been good news, but at least I don't have to wait for results.

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  • I was hoping to take my 5 year old, but the MFMs office where I had it done has a very strict no children in the office policy, so we weren't allowed. She was with me (at 19 months) for her sister's ultrasound and understood and loved watching it. I would definitely bring an interested 7 year old!
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  • My daughter is 20 months...it's not so much fun when they are younger. But I think it's a great idea to take your daughter there. Maybe it will bring her some peace and she could even ask the doctor about some concerns. 
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  • I had DD with us because DH normally watches her at my appointments (he's a teacher so I drop her off as soon as his class gets out and truck over to the dr.)  I wanted DH at the u/s so DD came too, and only sort of understood/cared as she's only 2.  But it will be nice to tell her later that she got to see her sister with us at the u/s appointment, for her to know she was there, too.
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  • Mine was today and we did not bring DS who is 4 1/2.  I was able to bring home a cd with some clips of the baby moving and showed him that along with the photos.  I was trying to explain what everything was and his response was "huh?"  He couldn't really envision anything I was explaining.  DH was the same way in the ultrasound room. 
  • We took DD and shes two. We also went to an elective place with a bigger screen so she was super interested.
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  • We took my older daughter to the anatomy scan when she was almost 3. It was great! She's a very wellbehaved kid, so she sat with DH and watched the baby moving on the screen. She loved it, and the ultrasound tech printed out a picture just for her that she absolutely treasures. I think, at 7, it would be wonderful for your DD.
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