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FTM Navy Wife since 5/22/2010
"Why do I do it?.... because nights alone aren't permanent, missing him reminds me that I'm lucky enough to have someone to miss, and because I'm not afraid to make sacrifices for true love"
Not having one is one of the biggest things I wish I had done differently with DD so I flat out told DH this time around that I am having a doula-no negotiation! Last time I had done bradley classes with DH (very centered on the partner being the labor support person) and it was completely pointless. DH had no idea what was going on, no idea what to do to help, no idea of anything. He completely shut down and was absolutely no help. I had to remind him to get the camera after he went all the way to the car just for my contact case (he "didn't think" about just bringing the whole bag up). As much as I was hoping that he could step up to the plate I really should have known-medical stuff goes right over his head and he gets overwhelmed with that stuff easily despite his best intentions.
Fortunately I found a doula that used to be a labor and delivery nurse so I'm really happy that she will know not only about labor but also about what the nurses are trying to do and why so she can be a better buffer between what actually has to happen vs. what usually happens during a labor.
In my child birthing class they say that the thing the moms remember most about the birth was not the pain, but how supported they felt and how involved they felt in the decisions that were happening.
Despite this, I was really torn about it, mostly because I didn't want to have to pay the extra money but after thinking about how we spent thousands of dollars for our wedding which was like 6 hours, why isn't it worth it for me to spend a few hundred to have some guidance and comfort in the dozen or so hours I'll be in labor right?
The woman I chose is my prenatal yoga teacher, is also certified in reiki and just has a very relaxing vibe about her. I'm SO GLAD we have her because not only does she support me when I may be in moments of weakness during the event, but also my husband when he needs to take a break from supporting me during and between contractions.
I also don't know what midwife and doctor will be there for the delivery because of their rotating schedules, so it also makes me happy that I will be building a relationship with my doula who will be there for the whole thing.