Single Parents

I just broke up with my bf

I'm 14 weeks now, I'm not sure if I'm ready t be a single mom yet. My bf and i were decided to keep the baby. Recently he told me he wasn't ready to be a dad and he said he can't afford it and does't want to ruin the future by having a baby. Then he is trying to convince me to do the abortion. I can't do it, I love the baby and I still love me. He told me he wants us together just me and him but not with the baby. Then he said he wants a break right now, I cry everyday and night till I fall asleep and i woke i cry about that again, I don't know what to do anymore and how can I convince him to make him want the baby and me in his life again. But he was crying in front of me says he loves me but he can't do it:(
Pulpit rock BabyName Ticker

Re: I just broke up with my bf

  • I am so sorry!  I know things are rough right now....but it sounds like he needs a break.  He is going to have to come around to the idea of being a dad all on his own.  If you keep pushing the issue, it will probably just push him away.

    Hang in there!

  • image mimimimimiiii:
    I'm 14 weeks now, I'm not sure if I'm ready t be a single mom yet. My bf and i were decided to keep the baby. Recently he told me he wasn't ready to be a dad and he said he can't afford it and does't want to ruin the future by having a baby. Then he is trying to convince me to do the abortion. I can't do it, I love the baby and I still love me. He told me he wants us together just me and him but not with the baby. Then he said he wants a break right now, I cry everyday and night till I fall asleep and i woke i cry about that again, I don't know what to do anymore and how can I convince him to make him want the baby and me in his life again. But he was crying in front of me says he loves me but he can't do it:(

    You can't convince him of anything he doesn't really want. Take a break. If he loved you as much as he says, he'd accept the fact that you are ready and willing to keep the baby. If he's not 'there' for the baby, then he won't ever be fully 'there' for you, either.

    [center]imageimage image
    image[/center]
  • thank you so much, it's just so hard that he loves me but he doesn't want the baby and still keep convincing me to do the abortion. I'm having us a break and time, but he still keeps texting me somehow. He would says some mean stuff to me but then he would care about me and the baby. He says that the baby would ruin our future it makes me so upset still.
    Pulpit rock BabyName Ticker
  • a baby does not ruin the future, and if thats the way he feels about this sweet, innocent baby, you do not want him around you or the baby, anyway.  I am a single mom as well and my son is 9 weeks old.  It's very hard to raise a baby, but you will love this baby with every fiber of your being and you will not mind the work you invest in him or her.  Babies are the biggest gift from God you can ever have, and he/she will make your days brighter and love you unconditionally.  You just wait...this baby will be the best thing to happen to you, no matter how mean the father is.  Jeremiah 29:11 says that God has a plan for you, and that plan is meant to prosper you and give you hope.  God has big plans for you and this baby. He loves you both. Hang in there, girl!
    image
    image
    image
    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image mimimimimiiii:
    I'm 14 weeks now, I'm not sure if I'm ready t be a single mom yet. My bf and i were decided to keep the baby. Recently he told me he wasn't ready to be a dad and he said he can't afford it and does't want to ruin the future by having a baby. Then he is trying to convince me to do the abortion. I can't do it, I love the baby and I still love me. He told me he wants us together just me and him but not with the baby. Then he said he wants a break right now, I cry everyday and night till I fall asleep and i woke i cry about that again, I don't know what to do anymore and how can I convince him to make him want the baby and me in his life again. But he was crying in front of me says he loves me but he can't do it:(

    This is TERRIBLE! Crying I really do feel for you, BUT your baby is depending on you to love him or her and keep him or her safe in your belly! If you want to keep the baby do NOT let him sway you into such a terrible thing. Put your baby first because your baby will love you unconditionally and deserves a life, whether it be with you or if you chose adoption (I am not telling you to choose it). It is your little baby too and if he cant respect that you choose to keep your little baby then you need to cut him out for a while. If he truly loved you like he says he does then he would never ask you to do such a thing. If he really does and he is just afraid and reacting selfishly then he will come around eventually. But NEVER let a guy talk you into abortion. Baby has a right to live. You are mommy and its your job to protect your little baby! Hopefully your guy will come around, but it is best for you emotionally right now to just turn your back on that guy for a while. Baby is apart of you, so give him an ultimatum, he either respects your decision to keep the baby or he leaves you alone. He doesnt need to hurt you anymore!! I know this will be the hardest thing you will ever have to do, but making a decision like this is apart of being a mom and i PROMISE you that when your little one is placed in your arms you wont regret your decision of being a mom. EVER. There is no love like the love of a child. Do what you feel is right, and remember no matter how bad this guy hurts you, when you feel baby move in your belly you will know you are doing the right thing :)

  • image haleyanna19:
    a baby does not ruin the future, and if thats the way he feels about this sweet, innocent baby, you do not want him around you or the baby, anyway.  I am a single mom as well and my son is 9 weeks old.  It's very hard to raise a baby, but you will love this baby with every fiber of your being and you will not mind the work you invest in him or her.  Babies are the biggest gift from God you can ever have, and he/she will make your days brighter and love you unconditionally.  You just wait...this baby will be the best thing to happen to you, no matter how mean the father is.  Jeremiah 29:11 says that God has a plan for you, and that plan is meant to prosper you and give you hope.  God has big plans for you and this baby. He loves you both. Hang in there, girl!

    I find it funny that you quoted this, when I found out I was pregnant unexpectedly I was TERRIFIED, and I went to a pregnancy center, and my counselor quoted this exact verse to me... It changed my perspective! I loved it, it is such a comforting reminder!

  • Thank you guys, I really feel so much better of what you guys said. I realized I can't force him or do anything on him anymore, all I can is wait for him, him might come back to me, or else i wold take the advise be a happy single mom:)
    Pulpit rock BabyName Ticker
  • OK. Telling you right now, while everyone is capable of change, IT IS NOT LIKELY. No person who loves another would tell them they love them and want to be with them without their child. That's selfishness, not love.

    You can't convince him to want the baby. Period. He is capable of making his own decisions and right now that doesn't include a child.

    You need to draw the line. It's going to suck, trust me. But you need to tell him you are keeping the baby, that you and the baby are a package and if he doesn't want it and want to treat you well and be a stand up father, then someone else will. BECAUSE IT'S TRUE.

    You love him. That's okay. But you need to love the baby, and yourself, more than to let yourself be emotionally abused like that. Right now the baby feels everything that you feel. The stress will hurt you AND the baby. He may love you, but he admits he's not ready for a baby. Honestly, that's good of him. Better that you figure it out now than when the baby is here and he walks out on both of you. Better for your baby not to know him then to have memories or him leaving you guys!

     

    Your first concern should be your child and how to take care of it. Period. I ended up wasting all of my pregnancy being concerned about my relationship with the father and I missed out on all the joys of being pregnant. It's one of my biggest regrets now. Don't make the same mistake. If it's meant to be, he'll come around. You have nine months for him to grow up. Step away from the situation and maybe he'll figure himself out and come back. If he doesn't, then it's okay. You'll make it through it no matter what.

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards