I'm definitely having some serious depression issues and don't know how to fix it. I have a counseling session lined up for tomorrow but in the mean time I'm going crazy.
I have a 4 yr old from a previous marriage. XH walked out right after I had him. I struggled with relationships since because I set my standards so high after i bombed with XH. Now I've been with this guy for all of 4 months and now I'm pregnant. Only turns out he was trying and hoping I would get pregnant so I'd end up marrying him. Only I don't think I could ever make that commitment to him. I'm miserable and feel trapped. My first trimester hormones are not helping any and I despise him. Plus I'm finding more and more things that he never told me like the $26k worth of debt he owes not including student loans. To make matters worse this is the first guy that ds has actually liked and has gotten close with. He has told me before that if we didn't work out, he'd stick around for his kid but not DS. I feel like that may cause resentment on with DS towards the baby. So do I stick it out for DS's sake, or leave?
I have absolutely no connection with this pregnancy which is adding stress for me. With DS it was an instant bond from the start but with this pregnancy I feel nothing. At the same time I am against abortion, especially since the baby already has a heartbeat and a living thing at the moment. I also feel a lot of stress on me because this guy that I'm with's parents are 74 and this will be their first grandchild. They are watching me like a hawk making sure I don't do anything that could cause a miscarriage. I feel like I'm going crazy!!!