My nurse just called and my level went from 41 to 5 over the weekend. I knew from previous experiences what was going to happen, (first beta was 31, second was 41 so the drop was inevitable) but I still held out a tiny sliver of hope.
DH and I agreed that this would be our last attempt at making a baby through fertility treatments. Although I am sad that this journey has ended, I am a bit relieved that it is over. Is it bad that I feel that way? After 4 IUI's, 2.5 IVF's, 3, no make it 4 c/p's I am just tired of the disappointment. As I write this I feel a little bit of the weight lifting off of my shoulders.
So I guess it is on to the next chapter of our story. Will I look at a pregnant woman and feel a little pang of jealousy, yeah. But looking at that same pregnant woman and I can now think "She could be the birthmother of my future child." So with that, I will put a little smile on my face.
I will look to the positive side of our situation. Pregnancy is one way to build a family but it is not the only way.
I am not a hardcore poster but I spend a lot of time on the boards. It is the only place where my feelings have truly felt validated, where everyone supports everyone (except for the occasional troll), and I know I can vent without being judged. Thank you for the support and I wish every single person the best of luck. I hope that your dreams are realized.