Military Families

My ex served me papers today for custody (repost)

Today I was served papers from my ex husband (who is deployed by the way) stating that he wants full custody and that I only deserve every other weekend visitations. My stomach is completely in knots because of the things he has accussed me of! I'm pretty much a bad mother because I work full time and can't make every function that he has, while his new wife can (she doesn't work). That I never make him bathe, or change his clothing (seriously!?!), that I can not financially take care of him because I already have 3 kids with baby number four on the way, I have a great paying job, a brand new SUV, and a 2500 sq ft house, I would say we're doing pretty good. He's even went so far to try to use my 12 year old against me, because he got into trouble at school! I have given him pretty much everything he has asked of me! He wanted our son to go to school by his house, I agreed (it's 20 mins out of my way), he wanted him to continue to go over there to his wife even though he is deployed to keep him on his schedule, I agreed. He wants to take him home for Christmas, I agreed, annnnnd I even agreed with him staying here in the states to finish school before he moved to Germany to be with us. We leave in Jan for Germany, and my ex is supposed to be going there in June. I'm lost on what to do and could use any advice.

I have started looking for a lawyer, but it's hard being a Sunday, when I want to talk to someone NOW! My kids are my everything, and I work hard to make sure they have what they want/need. I just honestly feel so protrayed, considering I have kept him updated with everything that has been going on, and he just throws this at me.

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Re: My ex served me papers today for custody (repost)

  • From what I know going through a similar situation ...there has to be a change in circumstances, if you worked when initial decree was set then it is not a change of circumstance. Other changes can be grades or abuse so if there aren't those changes he can't change. If primary is changed you still are intitled to about 40% which is almost three days per week. Get lawyer !!!

     

  • I too would seek the advice of a lawyer.

    I do not see how a judge would take a child from his mothers home to be raised by his stepmom based on what you listed in your OP. It sounds like your child would have more stability in the home of his mother and siblings. Good luck!

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  • Did you post this on Blended Families too? They might have some good suggestions for you.
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  • image tlszoltysik:

    We leave in Jan for Germany, and my ex is supposed to be going there in June. 

    What does your CO say about going overseas? I'm asking bc that could be something that would prevent you from taking your child out of the country. Does your child already have a passport? Thats something else you will need from XH.

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  • image Igoo0304:
    Did you post this on Blended Families too? They might have some good suggestions for you.

    Yes, go to BF. There are wonderful ladies with great advice over there.

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  • Don't sweat it. Unless there is proof and documentation of what you are accused of, he is going to be laughed out of court. I would almost bet the judge reprimands him as well. 
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  • Your ex has to consent to your child getting a passport and going overseas. Otherwise he can say its kidnapping and that you didn't tell him or get his approval to leave the state you reside in now. I'd get a lawyer and make sure all your bases are covered. My friend got remarried and has a 7 year old with her ex and she told him they were moving he signed for the passport but when they got over here he said she didn't tell him they were moving and claimed she kidnapped him. She lost full custody of him and only gets supervised visits because the judge ruled in dads favor. I'm not trying to scare you just let you know what happened to my friend in a similar situation. 
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  • I agree get a lawyer and also see if your state "where your marriage took place" is a mother state. For example PA favors the mother. Unless mom gives up her child or is declared mentally unstable, the law sides with the mothers
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