3rd Trimester

Wtf is wrong with people?

Yesterday I wrote like a ranting fb status that was directed at no one in general. It was about people "telling" me that they are staying with me after LO is born and not "asking" my fiance and I first. My future MIL has done this but thats not who set me off yesterday! Anyways so my fiances aunt posted under my status saying that i was a selfish little b!tch and that the granparents should become before my fiance... When I read this I was shocked! She so went on to say that y fiance would never hurt his mother in this way and that she was welcomed at our house whenever she pleased.... I was like wtf? Who pays the bills this is not her house! My fiance and I came to the conclusion that we will not be having guest over when we bring LO home because this is our first child and would like to have some bonding time with him. So she the. Proceeds to say I better hope that I don't have a csection because I am going to be begging people for help. I was like my mom and father would never leave me wanting help, if we needed them we know to pick up the phone and call. She then told me to "*** off and Thanks for ruining my sister birthday" and again I am sitting there dumbfounded like wth is her problem and oh sh!t I forgot it was her birthday! So now my fiance is not talking to his family because they have been attacking/judging me from day one and he is tired of it. So of course the blame is on me and I am "manipulating and changing him"? Ugh. Sorry I just needed to get this off my chest and begining to worry because DS comes in 24 days and holidays are coming up! Any advice or suggestions on what I should do as far as dealing with his family? Am I the only one going threw this?
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Re: Wtf is wrong with people?

  • WTF is right.

    Delete FI's aunt's comments from the thread.  Then unfriend and block her.

    Set the boundaries with the families now.  FI deals with his family; you deal with yours.  End of story. 

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  • I understand why you might rant like that, but I would leave it off FB. People will take it personally, even if it wasn't directed at them and it has nothing to do with them. People are like that.
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  • image TheEditor:

    WTF is right.

    Delete FI's aunt's comments from the thread.  Then unfriend and block her.

    Set the boundaries with the families now.  FI deals with his family; you deal with yours.  End of story. 

    This. That twatwaffle would be coming no where near my child until *** got her act together. 

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  • why would you post that on facebook, and then proceed to have an argument on facebook?
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  • Thats what I eventually told her. She better not show up at the hospital. We want to be a happy, stress free family! I do not need her drama. They are really going to sh!t when my fiance doesn't go for Thanksgiving and he also doesn't want to do christmas with them .... Ugh. Its going to be a great end of the year! Oh well, we are happy and just going to ignore them I guess.
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  • image discobelle:
    If you've got issues with the families, deal with them directly.Broadcasting it on Facebook is just asking for drama. nbsp; nbsp;

    I just had a ranting moment and and honestly didn't think anyone would take it and run with it.
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  • image mj0011:
    why would you post that on facebook, and then proceed to have an argument on facebook?

     This. Nothing is more obnoxious than vague FB posts "directed at nobody" ranting about something that should be dealt with face to face.  It lets the trashy show... Just sayin.  

  • image cmhicklin:
    I understand why you might rant like that, but I would leave it off FB. People will take it personally, even if it wasn't directed at them and it has nothing to do with them. People are like that.

    You are right and it is now a lesson learned.
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  • image PeanutR1:

    image mj0011:
    why would you post that on facebook, and then proceed to have an argument on facebook?

     This. Nothing is more obnoxious than vague FB posts "directed at nobody" ranting about something that should be dealt with face to face.  It lets the trashy show... Just sayin.  

     

    Yes, this, too. 

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  • image PeanutR1:

    image mj0011:
    why would you post that on facebook, and then proceed to have an argument on facebook?

     This. Nothing is more obnoxious than vague FB posts "directed at nobody" ranting about something that should be dealt with face to face.  It lets the trashy show... Just sayin.  

    I know afterwards that it was not the right thing to do. I was extremly moody and just felt the need to vent. And btw I have delt with this face to face. Again, lesson learned!

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  • image taylor&derrick:
    image PeanutR1:

    image mj0011:
    why would you post that on facebook, and then proceed to have an argument on facebook?

     This. Nothing is more obnoxious than vague FB posts "directed at nobody" ranting about something that should be dealt with face to face.  It lets the trashy show... Just sayin.  

    I know afterwards that it was not the right thing to do. I was extremly moody and just felt the need to vent. And btw I have delt with this face to face. Again, lesson learned!

    It's great that you've dealt with this face to face and that your fiance is on board with you, as well.    

    It sucks that you had to learn the lesson this way, but at least you did!  I can't stand when FB friends do a wall-o-text about how certain "people" need to x, y, and z and stop hating and blah blah blah (not saying you did that, just what I've experienced).  


  • In laws. Ah the fun. I wouldn't stress about his aunt and like PPs said delete the comments. My husband told his mother our baby will never stay with them because his brother and SIL stay there and smoke weed/steal pills. You aren't the only one with crazy inlaws.
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  • She should not have said any of that stuff to you!! That was just wrong. As far as family wanting to be over after LO is born, that is natural and I am sure they are wanting to be helpful. But they should have asked first and not volunteered without asking.

    That being said, It probably was not a good idea to rant openly via a post on FB. You should have discussed all this with the people that said they would be over and stay with y'all without asking. If you didn't feel comfortable voicing your opnion to them, then asking fiance to do it would have worked too.

    Hope you and everyone can work all this out before LO gets here.

  • And that is why you don't post stuff like that on FB. 
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  • Wow. That is one cold-hearted b*tch.
    I would never allow her to even come within yards between my child.
    She obviously doesn't respect you in any matter whatsoever.
    Delete her, block her from facebook and demand an apology.
    because she owes you one big time.

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  • image cmhicklin:
    I understand why you might rant like that, but I would leave it off FB. People will take it personally, even if it wasn't directed at them and it has nothing to do with them. People are like that.

    I agree with this. If you post rants on facebook you have to expect people to react to them.

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  • image taylor&derrick:
    image PeanutR1:

    image mj0011:
    why would you post that on facebook, and then proceed to have an argument on facebook?

     This. Nothing is more obnoxious than vague FB posts "directed at nobody" ranting about something that should be dealt with face to face.  It lets the trashy show... Just sayin.  

    I know afterwards that it was not the right thing to do. I was extremly moody and just felt the need to vent. And btw I have delt with this face to face. Again, lesson learned!

    Well, everyone has those hormone driven moments and now you know to keep them off Facebook. I wish you luck dealing with your family, they sound difficult.

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  • image mj0011:
    why would you post that on facebook, and then proceed to have an argument on facebook?

    Yes 

    Just so you know, posting vague rantings about "people" staying with you implies your parents or ILs, so I actually see why the aunt was so offended. You shouldn't have put it on the internet, period. (Not trying to sound mean, just telling you that it seems pretty obvious to outsiders that this was a BIG mistake). 

    From the aunt's point of view, who else could you have been implying, kwim? 

    Also, just because she said something rude, doesn't mean you have to be rude back. It only makes YOU look like the bad guy even more. Now his entire family (and the entire internet) has seen the two of you exchange in cursing, childish, banter. You are both wrong, imo. 

    Delete her from FB and don't post personal things on the internet from now on and they won't have any ammo to use against you. 

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  • I can totally understand why you needed to rant.  However, it doesn't really belong on Facebook.  Especially when you're friends with people that have done those particular things to you....  My suggestion is to just set boundaries and smile and be nice to his family.  Aggravating, I know, but his family isn't going anywhere.  I hope your situation gets better!  
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  • image taylor&derrick:
    image PeanutR1:

    image mj0011:
    why would you post that on facebook, and then proceed to have an argument on facebook?

     This. Nothing is more obnoxious than vague FB posts "directed at nobody" ranting about something that should be dealt with face to face.  It lets the trashy show... Just sayin.  

    I know afterwards that it was not the right thing to do. I was extremly moody and just felt the need to vent. And btw I have delt with this face to face. Again, lesson learned!

     

    Don't beat yourself up over it. We all make mistakes. That aunt was wrong as well. I would suggest deleting the entire post.  

  • It is rude to post things about 1 person that set you off yesterday.  What did you expect?  You should have confronted the person that was rude directly instead of airing it for the entire world to see- very passive aggressive. 

    It is not entirely your MIL and Aunt's fault that they thought you were talking about them since you said MIL had asked you this before.  I think you should call MIL wish her a happy birthday and let her know you are sorry and that you were talking about someone else. 

    I would ignore the aunt and delete her from your FB.  Actually I would delete anyone from FB that is not mature enough to ignore your passive aggressive comments, and anyone you have a contentious relationship with, and not put up comments like that again. 

  • image taylor&derrick:
    image discobelle:
    If you've got issues with the families, deal with them directly.Broadcasting it on Facebook is just asking for drama. nbsp; nbsp;
    I just had a ranting moment and and honestly didn't think anyone would take it and run with it.

    You thought wrong.

    Those types of "rants" are not Facebook appropriate unless you're ready to duke it out with whoever takes it personally. And honestly, I don't believe that those rants are "directed at no one." Sorry. You kind of asked for the backlash.

    That being said, I would delete the entire thread and apologize to his aunt that you offended her. Then, promptly talk to your fiance about officially setting the boundaries now before you're in the midst of it all. 

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