Pregnant after a Loss

Major PgAL Moment

I have spent all morning bawling... I woke up with no symptoms and I already didn't have very many. I called the doctor and I wanted to get another blood test but they were like "no you can come in and visit with the doctor and do a urine HCG test"... I was like I KNOW that the test will be positive at this point, but i want to know HOW positive.

So unless I get an ultrasound during this doctor's appointment it's going to be a waste of time.

Oh yeah, and in the midst of me bawling I EMAILED my entire family telling them I was pregnant. I couldn't think of a way to tell my family in a special way when they're here for Thanksgiving and not only that but I just didn't want them to make a big deal of it all. 

I'm just terrified - I know I don't have any real reason to be, no blood or anything, but my heart just isn't there with this pregnancy. Having a loss ROBBED me of any peaceful pregnancy. This blows.

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BFP 1 - March 26, 2012, MMC discovered May 21, 2012
BFP 2 - October 30, 2013, Rainbow Baby Boy born July 14, 2014
TTC no sooner than November 2014

Re: Major PgAL Moment

  • (((hugs)))

    PgAL can be so hard. It is totally normal for symptoms to come and go. I had 2 days around 7w when they all disappeared and before that I had been feeling quite sick. I was panicked. It all came back with a vengeance. Some people don't get bad symptoms, though. I hope you're feeling rotten soon, though, as it may give you some peace of mind. 

    BFP#1 11/25/11 EDD 08/09/12 MMC 01/30/12 D&C 02/01/12
    BFP#2 09/11/12 beta1=72 @13dpo beta2=160 @14dpo beta3=over 6000 @24dpo U/S @7w2dd hb=146bpm U/S @8w5d hb=159bpm U/S @12w hb=164bpm
    EDD 05/20/13
    My Ovulation Chart
  • Sweetie I'm so sorry you're feeling this way this morning.  Can you beg and plead for an ultrasound at your appointment? I'm thinking a transvag u/s may give you more information than a beta would at this point anyways.  Also, you'll get immediate gratification with the ultrasound, as compared to the beta that would take several hours (minimum) to come back. 

    (((hugs))))

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    ~~PgAL March Siggy Challenge - Pet Shaming~~
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    TTC #1 since Feb 2011 Dx: MTHFR C677T Homozygous, Antiphospholipid Syndrome, LPD
    BFP #1: 8/4/11 c/p 4w5d
    BFP #2: 9/4/11 c/p 5w0d
    BFP #3: 1/16/12 c/p 4w0d
    BFP #4 8/9/12 m/c 7w3d
    BFP #5 11/2/12 ?EDD 7/16/13? PLEASE grow sweet baby!!
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Huge PgAL hugs to you! I am on TBM, so I can't see your ticker info, but I distinctly remember my symptoms coming and going throughout first tri. Some days my ms was so bad that I could barely get up off of the bathroom floor, and some days I felt well enough that I just KNEW I was having a mmc. I will be 33 weeks tomorrow, and am most assuredly still pg today! I am sending tons of t and p's your way that everything is aokay!
     
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  • I wrote a post almost identical to this yesterday - I had a meltdown and was convinced everything was over because my symptoms were gone.  So you are not alone.  Someone yesterday told me something that really helped - everything is out of our control and we need to accept that and just take it one minute/hour/day at a time.  I'm trying to take that advice to heart and just be thankful that - today, I am pregnant and I love my baby.  I'm so sorry that you're struggling right now.  I hope it gets a little easier for you as the weekend progresses.

    (and sidenote - after being super concerned that all my symptoms had gone away - I woke up in the middle of the night simultaneously completely hungry and feeling like I was going to throw up.  And then this morning my boobs were sore again.  FX that the same thing happens to you and your symptoms reappear tomorrow!!!)

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    M/C 7/8/12

    Perfect baby boy born 7/8/13

    BFP 8/20/14 EDD 4/27/15

     

  • I'm sorry things are so hard right now. I am in a similar place, waiting for my first u/s and having a bad feeling about the whole thing. And the toughest part is that whatever our brains and bodies are telling us, we just can't know what's really happening. Ugh.
    Mommy to Alden, born May 19, 2007 - best birthday present ever! natural m/c October 20, 2008 at 8w1d BFP April 4, 2009! Missed m/c discovered May 1, 2009 D&C May 12,2009 BFP March 3, 2010 Chemical pregnancy BFP May 25, 2010 Elias Derek born January 26, 2011! Surprise BFP October 24, 2012 Missed m/c confirmed Nov 26 D&C Nov 30 Surprise BFP February 13, 2013
  • I am so sorry, hon. Try to take some deep breaths, if you can. The symptoms in a healthy pregnancy really do come and go in ways that are impossible to predict. I know that is so hard to believe, but it is true. I hope your day gets easier.

    BFP#1: 05/07/12, MC 05/13/12. BFP#2: 07/23/12, CP 07/28/12.
    8dpo progesterone = 5.8. Pom juice + progesterone = BFP#3: 10/15/12, EDD 6/27/13.
    Betas: 10dpo=29,14dpo=217, 24dpo=11835. HB at 5w4d=81bpm, 7w6d=154bpm!
    Great NT scan at 11w4d, HB=160bpm. A/S at 19w6d: We're team blue!
    Perfect baby boy born via unmedicated delivery on 6/10/13 at 37w4d.

  • Ugh, I am SO SO sorry you're feeling this way right now. You're right, PgAL does rob you of so much peace. Maybe if youre insistent with your doctor you can get an ultrasound or something???? I'm sending you lots of love and hugs.
    image

    TTC since Aug 2011. BFP #1 on 10/28/2011 EDD of 07/02/2012 Natural MC on 11/22/2012  BFP #2 on 10/28/2012  EDD of 7/13/13  Judah Ari born on 7/11/13.

    I love my rainbow baby!


  • Oh hunny I am SO sorry you're going through this. I completely, completely know where you're at. In all my other pregnancies my gums have bled. Well my loss of my Jan angel I noticed my gums weren't bleeding anymore and thought oh how great that was because my gums must have gotten better. Instead it was a missed m/c. Well sure enough this morning I brushed my teeth and no bleeding gums when they have been before. So I am totally with you and really understand how horrible it is to go through the worry.

    But at the same time, and forgive me because you have probably heard this before and I didnt read PPs yet on phone on car trip...

    Symptoms really are SO differnet both from day to day and pregnancy to pregnancy. With my son the entire first trimester I barely had ANY symptoms, hardly even sick at any point. Not even sore boobs. Although I dont remember at what point the gum sensitivity started. But that was my first pregnancy, no testing of betas etc. So this time around could be just the same. When I was pregnant with my Jan angel I had TONS of symptoms and it ended in m/c. So even though you're panicked please try to hang in there. Cry as much as you need and don't feel badly about it. Everything you're feeling is completely understandable. I hope your family will provide some additional support for you and give you lots of love and peace this Thanksgiving. It makes total sense to me about telling them the way you did I could see myself doing the same.

    I wish I could give you a ton of hugs. I remember chatting with you a bit on TTCAL and how much I liked connecting with you. I really hope you do whatever you need to take care of yourself and will keep you in my thoughts today. Damn PGAL brain. I hate it. I wouldn't wish it on anyone and I'm sorry you're going through this today. Many, many hugs.

    dream 1 CAME TRUE 2.13.2010


     <dream 2> 12.2011


     2.10.12 : 4 weeks


    6.17.12 : 10 weeks


    10.10.12 : 4 weeks, 6 days


    12.13.12 : 9 weeks, 1 day


    4.6.13 : 4 weeks, 4 days


    10.27.13 : 5 weeks, 6 days


    4.2.14 (IVF #1) : 4 weeks, 1 day


    6.19.14 : IVF #2 Negative


     </dream 2>


     resolve.org


    AMA, Diminished Ovarian Reserve, heterozygous MTHFR


    "all it was was a fairytale and devotion to a dream"

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    ***All always welcome!!***

  • All of the PPs have said it, and I will say it again. Symptoms come and go and are different from day to day and pregnancy to pregnancy. I know that you know this, and that it brings no peace of mind whatsoever, but try your best to take care of you. Hopefully, you can get the u/s and the peace that you need.

    It does suck to be robbed of all the joy that comes with a care-free pregnancy. Unfortunately, this is our reality. Live the mantra- Today I am pregnant and I love my baby. FX for you hon!!

    Married my Best Friend 06/25/11
    TTC since 02/12

    BFP 03/17/12 D&C 04/27/12
    BFP 11/06/12 EDD 07/20/12

    Hoping for our rainbow baby!
    [image image
    BabyName Ticker


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  • I'm sorry, I know that feeling. FX everything is just fine.

    ~October PAL Siggy Challenge: Funny Pet Costumes~

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    DS born 3/12/09.

    BFP #2 - 5/9/11. EDD 1/7/12. MMC 6/6/11. BFP #3 - 1/24/12. EDD 10/6/12. MC 2/14/12.

    BFP #4 - 8/30/12. EDD 5/11/13. Our rainbow arrived a month early - 4/11/13. 

    image image

    For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of him. 1 Samuel 1:27

  • **lurking from TTCAL**

    I've got no advice but I wanted to let you know I've been thing about you lately.   Huge hugs and I love seeing your new ticker!

    Photobucket
    Married 3/27/10
    TTC #1 Jan 2012 BFP#1 4/17/12~EDD 12/17/12 ~m/c at 6weeks 4/22/12 ~ Morgan Quinn
    BFP #2 2/25/13 EDD 10/31/13 DS born 10/23/13
  • Deep breaths. 

    Try to remember that symptoms come and go. I know it's scary when they do, but try. Today you are pregnant and you love your baby.

    I hope they come back soon to reassure you.

    HUGS! 



    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers 

    BFP #1 12/7/2011 EDD 8/21/2012 Delivered at 15 weeks
    "I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be." 
    BFP#2 10/19/2012 EDD 6/30/2013 Delivered safely two days early

    Everyone is welcome in my posts.

  • (((HUGS))) Talk to your doctor about an u/s or repeat betas for reassurance when you see him.
    AMA over 40
    Massive uterine fibroids removed 3/06
    BFP 1/11; MM/C discovered @ 10w, loss at 6w; Cytotec
    B/W 7/11 = normal CD3, FSH 8.9; 7DPO progesterone 1.7
    Three Clomid cycles, all BFN, Off to an RE for me...
    FSH=8.7 E2=30 AMH=1.8 HSG clear, SA=great
    Inj. IUI #1 12/9/11 BFN, Inj. IUI #2 1/6/12 BFN
    Inj. IUI #3 1/30/12 BFP!, HCG doubled through 6w, 7w u/s mm/c twins
    Factor V Leiden, Hetero, symptomatic
    Op Hysteroscopy 5/12, removed scar tissue and uterine septum
    Doing Cryo-DE IVF 
    Beautiful hatching 5-blast transfered 8/30
    BFP 9/7/12 EDD May 19, 2013
    A/S on 12/21/12, Petra's having a baby, it's the end of the world!
    Pebbles arrived safe and sound 4/13. Placenta accreta found.
    Op hysteroscopy 2/7, reopen ute/remove adhesions from accreta
    Found severe Ashermans. Fuuuuuuu... Repeat Op Hyst in March.
    Op Hyst ver 3.0 looks good so far, find out if it worked in June.
    Finally got the damn IUD out. Waiting to stop bleeding.
    SIS shows rippled funky shaped ute, but given clearance to begin sFET calendar.
    Here goes everything...
    sFET#2 BFP, ended in m/c.
    Waiting for the next Op Hysteroscopy to find out what next.
    Scratch that, retained tissue. 3rd Cytotec round.
    Another damn Op Hyst. Found and removed retained tissue.
    Pathology returned fine, no molar. Cleared for final attempt after next cycle.

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    "Petra, you are an obese 40+ year old. Stop jumping through these hoops. Just adopt already. There is no shame in that." -Deethebee
  • I'm sorry your feeling this way. I feel a little like this as well. Its still really early for us but I hope to feel sick every day just to make it seem like this is really happening. Big hugs!
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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  • I'm so sorry you are feeling this way.  I am 16 weeks and all seems to be well, but still have my pgal moments (or days).  Please try to be assured, during the beginning of this pregnancy my symptoms would come and go as well and I hope you are soon feeling lousy again, what a crazy pgal wish, right??  It stinks not having that joyful innocence that some other pregnant ladies get to have, but I hope soon you are able to feel happy and excited.
    TTC 10/2009 BFP #1: Missed m/c at 8.5 weeks 11/10 BFP #2: Missed m/c at 10.5 weeks 8/11 BFP #3: Missed m/c at 9 weeks 2/2012 BFP #4: 8/21/12, EDD 5/4/13. So far so good, fingers crossed, hoping and praying with all of our might for this little bean....
  • Everyone, thank you. Your really thoughtful responses mean a lot to me today. And what you say makes a lot of sense. I'm feeling slightly better, I had a chat with 2 friends who had babies after a loss and asked them how they got through it... unfortunately the answers weren't "oh it was easy, I just did this..." it was "it's really stressful and you have to take it day by day, minute by minute."

    I am so happy though that you ladies are here and supportive. This whole thing just blows. It's just great to have people out there who understand.

    (((HUGS)))

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    BFP 1 - March 26, 2012, MMC discovered May 21, 2012
    BFP 2 - October 30, 2013, Rainbow Baby Boy born July 14, 2014
    TTC no sooner than November 2014
  • hugs. I got all nervous today bc my boons didn't hurt when I woke up. They hurt so bad now from aHurting on their own and b me pokin them All morning to see If they hurt again :.
    We totally understand. I wouldn't e getting an u/s at all but I'm planning to text my Ob shes a friend and our neighbor after our cruise to see if she can schedule one around 7 weeks.
    Try to take it easy and take deep breaths.
    imageimage

    image image image 

    My Beautiful Boys! 

    imageimageimage

    PgAL/PAL welcome, always!
  • I just wanted to tell you that I am right there with you. I am experiencing no symptoms and it scares the crap out of me. Hugs to you. I hope your doctor will work with you more. I dont understand why they won't check your levels.

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Maternity tickers
    #1 BFP 2/24/11 EDD 10/29/11 Born 11/1/11
    (via emergency c-section due to prolapsed cord; dx with sensorineural hearing loss Feb 2012)
    #2 BFP 9/13/12 EDD 5/20/13 Natural M/C 10/3/12
    #3 BFP 11/13/12 EDD 7/27/13
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  • I am there with you. The past few days I have "felt" less pregnant. In one way, I'm glad the morning sickness is gone but I think being PgAL makes us NEED those things to let us know that we are "still pregnant." I am worried myself but am just trying to take it one day at a time. My first U/S is set for Wednesday so i'm just trying to take it easy.

    T&P are going out to u honey.

    3 year old son Married 09/03/2011 TTC 02/2012 BFP 05/2012 M/C 06/2012 BFP 10/2012 Stick baby stick!
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