Toddlers: 24 Months+

Potty training advice- HELP!!

DH and I unexpectedly decided to start DD in a 2d/wk preschool the first week of Dec.  We are trying to space everything out as to not overload DD. I am due mid-Feb with baby #2.   We also just painted and furnished a new bedroom for DD to move into since the baby will be taking over DD's current room. Here is where I need advice. Do we potty train first or move DD out of her crib and into her new room first?  We are doing one or the other Over Thanksgiving. My mom was planning on coming up (6h drive) Thanksgiving but DH thinks we should tell her not to so we can use that time to potty train without distractions.  My mom also wants to come here the whole week of Christmas. With limited time before baby #2 arrives, I feel like starting potty training, moving DD out of her crib and into a new room, starting preschool, holiday visits from my mom and trying to get ready for baby #2 all within 5w is too much for us and DD. Should I tell my mom not to come here so we can get DD transitioned?  My OB said I'm measuring ahead and to plan on an early delivery (will have another scheduled c/s date) if very early Feb if needed. 

 What should I do?  I need to either potty train or move DD out of crib Thanksgiving weekend. Does it matter which order?  Is one less stressful right before starting school than the other?  Is it better to potty train before starting preschool?  And should I tell my mom not to come for Thanksgiving if we are transitioning DD either way?  What would you do?

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Re: Potty training advice- HELP!!

  • I'm not sure it necessarily matters which comes first, But then again, I don't know how easy/difficult it will be for your DD to have someone foreign to her take her to the potty for the first few days at a new preschool. If she doesn't feel very comfortable, she may have accidents. You kind of have to go with your DD's personality. My DD is very shy and doesn't handle change like that well, so I would've waited to PT in that situation until I could trust she felt comfortable enough with the teachers to take her to the potty and help her. 


    Having said that, we moved my DD to a big girl room/bed end of may, and I did the 3 day potty method 3-4 weeks later. No problems with either. I would say that as long as your mom comes 2-3 days after initially moving her to her big girl room, then it seems like that might be an okay transition to have her visit for.

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  • Does your DD need to be PTed for preschool?  In your situation I would do the bed first and then PTing.  It just seems like it would be stressful and rushed if you want her to be PTed before preschool.  But maybe she's really ready and the PTing would be easy for you.  It's so hard to say without knowing what your DD is like. 

    We tried doing the 3-Day Method with DD and it took more like 1-2 weeks.  I definitely couldn't see her being comfortable enough to go to the bathroom (successfully) with someone new a little more than a week after PTing.  But that's my DD's personality.

    We PTed first, then moved to the big bed/new room (about a month and a half later).  But my LO's are closer in age then yours will be and we did both after the baby arrived (months after).  Honestly the move to the bed was easy and DD didn't have any issues with it at all.  We made a big deal about her big girl room and talked about how she would sleep in a big girl bed.  Something else that helped us was moving her to the new bed when we got back from a vacation (she slept in a hotel bed on the trip).  Can you take the front off her crib?  We took the front panel off of ours (convertible-style) so she could get used to having an open side and getting in and out.

    If you decide to PT over Thanksgiving I wouldn't have your mom come.

    Good luck!  It's tough to make these decisions about things that are such big changes for LO. 

  • In all seriousness that is going to be a lot going on for her.  You always hear people say that you need to make sure there are not a lot of things going on when you potty train. Like trips, or moves and such. I think that even if you started to potty train her over the holiday, the holiday itself is going to be a lot on her. And she is not going to have it completly masterd,

    My DS got it within a few days, and has been doing good, but we expected some fall back. For him I had been staying home and he had been with me for about 2 months before we actually tackeld potty training. We had introduced it before, but this time we went no diapers at all, only underwear. But there was nothing going on, no holidays, no special trips. He had already been in his new bed for months.

    I am just thinking that if you start the potty training thing now, it is going to be stressful with the holidays coming, and then you wanting to move her out of her bed, and then little one coming too. If you had to do one, I would think move her to the bed, make that a big thing, and when she is good with it, make it a point to say that she is a big girl in her big bed, and big girls need to learn to use the potty. It might help out a litte. But still be prepared for some set backs.


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  • We PT'd first because our DS was showing all of the signs. However, you should talk with the school about it. I also took a few days off to just focus on PTing. If you can afford to do that, I would certainly suggest it. WE are 90% successful. I am planning on moving him to his big boy room after the holidays. I am due in late Feb, early March. 
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  • Personally I would move her out of her bed first.  It was no big deal for DS, and the transition period was probably 3 days- a week max for him.  At school they probably are on cots, so the whole not being in a crib thing will be easy for her anyway.  I would have mom not come for potty training, but have her come if you are doing the bed transition.  DS is pretty easy going, and was used to sleeping on a cot at daycare, so maybe it was easy for us.  But like it said it was not a problem at all. 
  • I would potty train first. It took my DD 1 week to get the feeling of going to the potty. It's been pretty good since. She tells us she has to go and then we also put her on the potty before we leave the house, after meals, and before bedtime.

    I'm expecting in May and I wanted her potty trained first before I moved her into her big girl room.

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  • Thank you everyone for your advice.  We decided to hold off on preschool start until it starts back up in January.  We are going to get her into her big girl room right after Thanksgiving.  We keep hearing/reading that may take the longest.  So we'll do that first, give a few weeks and if all goes well, potty train immediately after Christmas.  Then that will give her a couple of weeks before starting school.  Then she should hopefully have 5w before the baby arrives.  So much, but idk how else to space it out before baby arrives.  We thought to potty train first, she has actually been ready for over a few months but I dropped the ball.  Since I know that will be easiest, I thought we better get her into her big girl room since we have the most time to let her adjust now and then hope that PT goes as easily as we think.
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