Single Parents

New here and overwhelmed

Hi ladies, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed right now and just needed an outlet. A little back story, I am 20 weeks pregnant and am about as sure as I am ever going to be that leaving my H is the best (albeit very hard) decision for me.  We have been together for 7 years and this is our first child.  There have always been trust issues in our relationship and he will not relent in his refusal to go to counseling (I have been seeing someone myself for awhile now). 

About a week ago - the day we found out that baby is a boy - he emailed his ex-wife telling her that he wanted to come home and that he was "not ok;" that he was not sure what was going on between them and he is not getting any younger.  This came 3 DAYS after I found an email to a prostitute asking if she had any spare time to meet.  I am just over the constant anxiety of wondering if he is cheating on me and I do not want my son growing up thinking that this is acceptable behavior. Flame away for the snooping around on my part....

I am taking some time to go and visit my family on the east coast (which he has taken to referring to as me abandoning him) and to just regroup for awhile but wanted to get any insight you wise, wise women may have.

Re: New here and overwhelmed

  • I completely understand what you are going through and you are making the best decision for both you and your son! Remember you come first because mommy has to be ok before you can move forward. At this point, whether he feels abandoned or not, this is not the time for him to want you to consider his feelings when he hasn't considered yours in your relationship. I know first hand. After I broke up with my ex-boyfriend after 12 weeks of pregnancy, he wanted me to consider how he felt and what "I did to him". These men have to realize that they need to take responsibility for what they did to themselves. My ex refused therapy as well. You just have to know that whatever decisions he makes about his own misguided life will not impact your life because God has things mapped out for you already. Continue to take care of yourself so that your son has someone to look up to that will guide him correctly. In the end, I think you are doing the best you can! Good luck and do your best to be happy.
  • Wow! Leave NOW before you have a little one to worry about.
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  • I'd hit the road as well.  A baby is going to put even MORE stress on this relationship, and you seem to have enough as it is.  It's not worth trying to work it out with a cheater in my opinion.... once a cheater, always a cheater.  Y'all arent married or anything...just get out!
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  • I'm so sorry! 

    I would definitely leave him, and I know that is hard... but your son deserves to be born into a balanced home, and he doesn't need that as a role model. 

    Those finds are enough proof for me regardless. He is potentially putting you AND your unborn son at risk if he is sleeping around. 

     

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