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Obviously you don't want to be distracted during the appointment, but what else can you do? I say put your H in charge of DD so that if she gets out of hand you can focus on the appointment and OB, and he can take care of her.
I wouldn't. I would ask for a video of the ultrasound so I could show her later, but only if it was the anatomy scan. Not a 9 week one.
Obviously if you have no other choice you can't help it, but if she's anything like my kid, it'll be a big distraction.
DS1 had to go to nearly every appointment I had with DS2's pregnancy. I know for my 20 wk u/s we also had my mom come so she could take DS1 out of the room if he needed to and DH could stay. But I think for the early ones it was DH responsible for DS1.
DS1 is in school now, but DH and DS2 will be there for my first u/s next week. The downfall of not having regular daycare.