I never would have believed that this would have been the ending. I had a perfect pregnancy and went into labor on October 21, 10 days before my due date. When we got to the hospital, I was almost 5 cms and his heartbeat was a strong 140. The pain started to intensify in my back and it became almost unbearable. I got restless laying in bed and got up to use the bathroom. When I sat down, I thought my water broke but when I stood up, the toilet was full of blood. I got back to the bed and when they put the monitors on, the nurse could not find a heartbeat. When she checked me, my husband and I could tell something was not right. I was 10 cms and they started yelling for me to start pushing. I pushed for about 5 minutes and I delivered an 8 lb beautiful baby boy but then my world was turned upside down.
They rushed him away from us and started working on him. We waited to hear that first cry, but it never came. After about 45 minutes of working on him, there was a heartbeat and they took him to the nursery. He had to be life flighted to a NICU, 2 hours from our home, but we remained positive. When they had him ready to go, a doctor that was on the flight came into the room and closed the door behind her. I had no idea the news we were about to receive but it was the worst case scenario. She explained that my placenta abrupted and his blood flow was compromised. He lost an excessive amount of blood and his organs started to shut down, only his brain and heart were supplied. She was not optimistic but would try everything. The hospital discharged me 3 hours after delivery so my husband and I could follow him to the NICU.
When we got there, we were met by his doctor who informed us of the absolute worst case. His brain was started to display signs of distress and seizure activity and they could not get him to stop bleeding, Our little angel was fighting so hard to recover, but his body was not cooperating. We talked about our options and decided to end all care to allow him to pass peacefully since there was no way for him to live a life without a machine to help him breathe. My husband and I thought we would only have minutes but our little fighter lived for 8 hours without any type of life saving device. For those 8 hours, we were a family. We held him like a normal baby and laid with him as he breathed such delicate breaths. He passed peacefully in our arms. This is has been the most painful thing I could have ever imagined. We are still trying to process how this could have happened and where we go from here.