Natural Birth

thinking about a natural birth

I think I want to have a natural birth, maybe a water birth. I just don't know if I would be able to. I have a really low pain tolerance and anytime I mention having a natural birth (mom, mil, friends) they tell me to get an epidural. So my question is anyone have low pain tolerance and have a natural birth, what do you recommend? I have been reading about it online to the point my head is pounding with tons of info and I can't even remember half of what I read. I have been seeing a midwife if this makes a difference.
BabyFruit Ticker

Re: thinking about a natural birth

  • Firstly my question is, what do you mean by you have a low pain tolerance? Do you mean you pass out if you stub your toe, or do you mean you shriek and yell, or you take painkillers at the slightest sign of a headache?

    Because I don't think anyone enjoys pain, and I think everyone has the ability to push through pain because think how many times in a lifetime you've had to just put up with pain. Maybe you stubbed your toe, or burnt your hand, or fell over and grazed your knee. It hurt. It hurt a lot. You cried and shrieked or did whatever you did, and you got through it.

    Now to my mind labour pain is much better than a stubbed toe because there is a purpose to it. You have a break between contractions, and you just have to deal with one at a time.

    One of the most useful things to me was to know why I wanted a natural birth. I wasn't doing it just to prove a point, I truly believed in the benefits. 

    If you do want to go natural, I would stop talking about people who will negatively persuade you, and try and surround yourself with people who will support your goals, even if that just means hanging out here lots. 

    There is lots of info and ideas to think through when you prepare thoughtfully for birth (regardless of whether you go natural or not) so just try and focus on one chunk at a time. The ladies here have lots of helpful thoughts and experiences to share. 

    Oh, and welcome, congratulations on your wee one, and good luck! 

    image
    Elizabeth 3yrs old Jane 1yr old

  • I have reasons for wanting to go natural not just so I can say I did I would rather not be in pain. Mostly my reasons is being that baby is more alert after delivery and breastfeeding is more likely to go smoother (one thing I'm really worried won't work out) I already know I don't want visitors for the first hr and want to do kangaroo care. Also I like the fact you can get up and move around and that it decreases need for a c section. I feel while it might not be best for me it would benefit my son.

    As far as the low pain tolerance, I meant I don't handle pain well. I take pain killers at the slightest sign of a headache and scream and cry when I stub my toe, my husband calls me a drama queen but he doesn't understand how bad I feel it hurts.

    I really want my mom to be in the room but she is pushing me to get an epidural, she brings it up all the time and tries to scare me with how bad it will be if I don't get it. 

    Thank you KateLouise! 

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Like PP said, surround yourself with people who support you. Not people who will try to convince you otherwise. That's my best piece of advice.

    As for pain tolerance, giving birth isn't quite the same as regular pain when you hurt yourself. It is pain that is natural and is suppose to happen. When I get hurt I usually panic which makes the pain feel worse. When I was in labor I reminded myself over and over than this pain was suppose to happen so I wasn't panicking and making the pain worse. Does that make sense?

    Believe me, I am the biggest wuss out there. I cried when I got a splinter and DH had to take it out for me. Yet I did natural childbirth and I didn't really think it was that bad. Yes, it hurt like crazy but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I was expecting it to be like "OMG, I want to die!" kind of pain and it wasn't. Between contractions you get a break and you'll be thankful for it. It is like labor stops for a few seconds and you are able to "get with the program" for a few seconds... or be like me and actually fall asleep between contractions.

    image Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • image rottler:

    I have reasons for wanting to go natural not just so I can say I did I would rather not be in pain. Mostly my reasons is being that baby is more alert after delivery and breastfeeding is more likely to go smoother (one thing I'm really worried won't work out) I already know I don't want visitors for the first hr and want to do kangaroo care. Also I like the fact you can get up and move around and that it decreases need for a c section. I feel while it might not be best for me it would benefit my son.

    As far as the low pain tolerance, I meant I don't handle pain well. I take pain killers at the slightest sign of a headache and scream and cry when I stub my toe, my husband calls me a drama queen but he doesn't understand how bad I feel it hurts.

    I really want my mom to be in the room but she is pushing me to get an epidural, she brings it up all the time and tries to scare me with how bad it will be if I don't get it. 

    Thank you KateLouise! 

    There's actually quite a lot of research around how epidurals block your natural hormonal responses to childbirth which can inhibit your bonding and BF. Those hormones are really good for you.

    It makes it a bit tougher when you want your Mum in the room. Do you think she'd be accepting if you had a direct conversation with her about how you want her in the delivery room but what you will need from her at that time?Perhaps she'd be open to learning about some of the benefits of avoiding an epi?

    My point before about being a "drama queen" when you're in pain doesn't actually mean it hurts you less or more than anyone else. It just means that's how you express your pain. Stubbing your toe IS a truly awful kind of pain, I just happen to express my pain by going quiet and sucking the inside of my cheeks. If you scream your way through labour, that's ok. Although I do agree with pp that it's best to try and avoid panicking, so you might like to look into ways to stay relaxed while in labour.


    image
    Elizabeth 3yrs old Jane 1yr old

  • My approach has been to not talk about it with anyone. I did tell my BFF because she is coming to a natural birth class with me, and one day I mentioned it to DH in passing, but we've never discussed it again. I prefer not to get other people's opinions.

    Mama to 2 late-term preemies (7/10 & 11/12) due to HELLP Syndrome.
  • Honestly, pain tolerance as you know it has nothing to do with your ability to handle giving birth. It truly is different from anything you've felt, and with the right mindset, you will surprise yourself with how well you can handle contractions.

    I think that the best way to plan for a natural birth is to work with your strengths. If you already do yoga to relax, prenatal yoga can help keep you even more centered.

    You might want to look into hypnobabies or hypnobirthing if you are into relaxing through self hypnosis (I don't have a ton of experience with them but my understanding is they can work great).

    Something all natural births seem to have in common is the desire to realize that labor is a natural process and that your body is amazingly well equipped to deal with it - it's all about getting your mindset to agree.

  • I feel you! I tend to be a baby with physical pain and went into this pregnancy totally planning on the epidural, thinking natural birth was for younger stronger bodies and martyrs. Perhaps that's how your mom is seeing it? (or just the martyr part - I'm 35 but not sure how old you are).

    Then I started doing my research and realizing how much I also want successful BFing, bonding, etc. Another thing that did it for me was the following:

    1. The hospital will try to hook us up to an IV right away. The fluids from the IV can cause edema and make BFing & latching more difficult. It can also make it easier for them to slip you meds, push you to take the epidural, and give you pitocin. BUT you can refuse the IV and go with the Heplock instead or as needed

    2. Learning that pitocin makes childbirth MORE painful, and that the epidural &/or pitocin (whichever might be administered first) often lead to a need for the other and result in the "Cascade of Interventions" that often results in C-sections and difficulty with breastfeeding and bonding.

    What's helped me: I've hired a doula, switched to a Midwife who has an awesome rep and has hospital privileges at a great hospital and a back-up OB. I'll be in the hospital but can labor in a tub and will still have the option of the epidural if I so choose. 

    DH & I are also taking a Blissborn class which is a version of Hypnobirthing. I can see how the self-hypnosis techniques, if practiced regularly, can become a skill I can fall back on during labor to help me relax into the contractions rather than freeze up from my fears. I also love the reminders that there are breaks between contractions. Oh and I've just gone back to prenatal yoga after taking a break for several weeks.

    I don't know how everything is going to actually go, but I'm setting myself up for conditions that I think will be conducive to trying natural, and hoping for the best with the understanding that anything can happen.

     I would encourage you to hire a doula if you can, to have someone there that's specifically there for you, to support you, and massage your back and support your guy! I know my hubby will be great but I just know I'll want the extra support.

     Also, I'd recommend compiling some info that lays out your reasons for wanting to avoid the epidural and give it to your mom. Let her know you appreciate how much she cares and wants you to have a good birth, and how important her support is going to be in accomplishing that. That you've really thought through your decision and have reasons that mean a great deal to you. If it feels right, let her know you'll keep the option of the epidural if really needed, but you really want to try birthing without it.  

    I hope this helps!! We have every right to the kind of support that we need, which is different for everyone! 

    My Mommy (to be) Blog: http://maitrimama.blogspot.com BabyFruit Ticker image
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards