Loss

What can I expect?

10 days ago we had an echocardiogram w/ level 2 ultrasound and everything looked perfect.  Saturday night our baby girl stopped moving.  Sunday I tried everything, but didnt' want to panic and couldn't get her to move.  First thing this morning I saw my doc and she confirmed that there was no heartbeat.  

Tomorrow evening I'm being induced.  Is there anything I should be prepared for that you ladies experienced?  Should I ask for an autopsy or explanation for what happened?  

John & Katherine, sittin' in a tree, . . . . Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Re: What can I expect?

  • I am so, so sorry.

    I went through this a few months ago. I was induced around 2pm and had the baby around 10am the next day. My back was sore for a few days in the place where I had the epidural and I had milk come in- those were two things I didn't expect and no one warned me about.

    We did do an autopsy. If you plan to have more babies in the future, I would recommend it, but be prepared for it to take a while. I think it was six weeks before we got answers- and the answer was "fluke, unexplained."

    Other things that you have probably already considered- whether you want to see the baby, hold the baby, what you'd like to do with the body, whether you want a service or burial, whether you want pictures or a religious blessing done.

    I bled for about three weeks afterwards. I felt physically fine after a week.

    Grief is weird. Sadness, guilt, anger are all normal. Sometimes you will feel a but better, and then go backwards in your progress. It is ok and normal. I would recommend seeing a counselor who specializes in infant loss. Your OB can probably recommend someone.

    Again, I am so sorry. Nothing could be worse. 

    image
    Baby Boy born sleeping at 20 weeks.
  • (((Hugs)))  I am so sorry for your loss!  We had a similar experience in June about 2 weeks after our amnio where our little boy was moving around well and we had perfect results.  Although I know it is not the best for everyone, the best advice given to me what to spend as much time holding my little guy and to take pictures. I was told I would regret it if I did not and I am so glad I was given this advice. We knew right away that it was a cord accident - if this was not the case, we would have asked for further testing! 

    Will you be naming your little girl? If you are sharing, it would be great to hear her name! 

    Wishing you peace as you go through this tragedy. I am so sorry! Please know you are not alone!   

  • I am so sorry to hear this sad news.  I hate to welcome you to this board, but I hope you find comfort in being here. 

    If you're asking what to expect medically, I can share my experience with you.  When we arrived in the delivery room I was induced vaginally.  Later I was given patocin to speed up contractions (by far the worst part... I dilated 7 cm in under an hour and a half).  Because there was obviously no risk to the baby, I was able to get an epidural as soon as I wanted it.  They did what they could to keep me comfortable.  We were visited by a social worker and the hospital chaplain.  After I delivered we were able to spend a couple of hours holding him.  When they finally had to take him to the morgue (we did choose to have an autopsy done, although the cause of death was a pretty obvious cord accident) they brought us up to our room.  There was a special label on the door that let any medical personnel who might deal with us that we had lost a child.  I was in the hospital for 2 nights for monitoring before I went home to finish my recovery.

    I don't want to over step my bounds, and I know that everyone's feelings are different regarding this, I wouldn't feel right finishing without offering you this advice.  We lost our son at 31 weeks.  I was induced only hours after finding out that our little boy no longer had a heart beat, so there wasn't much time to think about anything other than the present moment.  Looking back I wish that we had contacted our photographer friend to take family photos and portraits of our son right after delivery.  At the time we were so overwhelmed with grief that we didn't think we would want photos taken during such a personal moment, but in retrospect there is NOTHING I would like to have more.  The hospital took a few snapshots for us, but they aren't very flattering and DH and I aren't in any of them.  It's my biggest regret in the last eleven months.  I wish I had more photos that showed just how beautiful our little angel was. 

    Again, I am SO very sorry for your loss.  I'll be thinking of you and your LO in the coming days as you begin this journey.  Many T&P tonight!

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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  • I'm so sorry to welcome you here.  Ditto what pp said. If you want, spend as much time as want holding your angel.  Have someone take photographs. You may not be able to ever look at them, but at least you will have the, if you want them. Please be gentle with yourself. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. (((Hugs)))

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

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    BFP #3 6/17/2013 C/P EDD 2/26/2014 
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  • Have the hospital contact Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. It's a non-profit organization that comes to hospitals to take pictures of babies born sleeping. I think the official rules are 25 weeks plus, but there are ways that your medical team might be able to work around it. It's worth a try for the nurses! 

    Bring clay kits for hand prints and foot prints. It's fun to actually have the imprint.

    Spend a lot of time with your baby. We had 24 hours. We read books, told him stories and just spent time as a family.  

    I had an autopsy but it didn't find anything. If you think it would help with closure, do it. 

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • I am so sorry for your loss. I went into labor prematurely so I do not have experience with induction. When it became apparent that we could not stop the contractions and that Zachary was going to be born soon, we asked for an epidural. The anesthesiologist was not able to get to me before Zachary was born. I ended up being very glad that I did not have the epidural. The best way I could put it is that I was glad that I was able to feel and experience everything that had to do with his delivery. This is completely a personal decision and there is no reason for you to not have pain management during this process.

    I also agree with the PPs - take your time with your baby girl. The best memory of my entire life is seeing my husband holding Zachary. We know whose lips he had, what his toes looked like, everything. We were fortunate that we delivered at a high risk hospital and that we had a nurse who makes memory boxes. She did footprints, handprints, and casts of his hands and his footprints. She also took photos for us.

    Autopsy/explanation - do you want to know or, if you say no, is this something that you will not regret finding out? We did not do an autopsy but already had a very good idea that I'd had a placental abruption (confirmed by an exam of the placenta). If we did not know, I'm not sure what I would have done. In the moment, I did not want him messed with but I think I would have wanted to know what had happened.

    The only other thing is that you will have to make arrangements. Our hospital has a 3 day policy for having remains picked up. The hospital gave us a huge list of funeral homes in our area but could not give us any recommendations. If you have friends/family that can help you with calling, I recommend this. It's truly awful.

    Again, I am so sorry for your loss (((hugs))) 





    Zachary Donald born 9/22/2012 at 20 weeks. You will forever be in our heart.
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    A miracle is what seems impossible but happens anyways
    BFP#1 06/08/2012 EDD 02/07/2013, born 09/22/2012 PTL due to placental abruption
    BFP#2 12/21/2012 EDD 08/27/2013, CP@4w6d
    BFP#3 01/21/2013 EDD 10/02/2013, M/C 02/26/2013

    my chart
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  • Thank you ladies.  In my grief stricken haze I know I'm not asking the right questions of my providers when I speak with them.  

    I didn't know that I should expect to or ask if I stay longer than just a few hours or that I would need to make a decision on her remains so quickly.  I'm glad you confirmed the need for pictures.  My husband thinks I'm crazy for wanting a picture of her but I know I'll regret not getting any.  I didn't know my milk would come in or that I'd bleed for 3 wks.  

    I don't want it to be over.  I don't want today to be her birth day.  I've been overcome with the crazy hysterical crying fits.     

    If you think of more, please let me know so that I can have my husband or someone ask for clarification.  She is breach and that is something I haven't gotten clarification on, if that will create complications.  

    John & Katherine, sittin' in a tree, . . . . Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • You are farther along than I was but I seem to have gotten the rough end for how far along I was.

    My milk came in. I did have a plugged duct so that was something that I had to google for and handle on my own. It wasn't actually as bad as I feared after the first 3 days- the engorgement faded a bit and now it's just irritating that I leak everywhere unless I'm wearing a bra all the time. A comfortable sports bra is a life saver.

    I felt fine physically within an hour or so of the end of the delivery process. When I left the hospital I had a "0" pain level. About two days later between my milk coming in (bringing with it a low grade fever and the pain of the clogged duct) and my body trying to return to normal- I had a LOT more aches and pains. I've been on some amount of ibuprofen for abdominal/breast/pelvic pain for about a week. It's not intolerable- it's just aches and the ibuprofen takes care of it. Your body will be reversing the physical changes much faster than they arrived.

    And headaches. I always get a persistent mild headache for 1-2 days when I'm coming out of a fertility treatment cycle (I don't ovulate normally so I don't get them from PMS)- it's the change in hormone levels. Coming suddenly down from the second trimester levels of hormones is really hurting though. I've had a persistent bad headache for 5 days now. Regular Tylenol/ibuprofen doesn't touch it- but the Vicodin the hospital sent me home with clears it up. Not everyone gets those headaches though.

    Give yourself time to make decisions about anything they send you home with. DH wanted to get rid of the teddy bear they put in my grief package but I wound up really needing it to hold on to. I needed, really needed, something to hold and rock. And be gentle with yourself if you get irrational about anything of that sort. I put a hat on that bear and swaddled it and carried it around the house for two days. It did no harm and I felt better for doing it. Grief isn't rational. Doesn't have to be.

    Edit: I opted out of an autopsy and chromosomal testing. I know that I would be really really angry if it came back with no answers and the cost (we are out of pocket for everything baby related) would have impacted our ability to pay for more infertility treatments to try again. I didn't want to drag out the grieving process or attach anger to my memory of this pregnancy. Since I don't believe the baby died before my water broke and I went into labor- it was highly likely the problem was something with my body and not the baby. If the baby had died first- I might have wanted more answers on why though.

    image
    Friends for 17 years. Married 10. TTC since Jan 2009.
    3 IVFs, 4 FETs, 11 transferred embryos, 3 losses (c/p, 6w, 17w)
    2012: Lost "Peanut" at 17weeks to PTL/IC.
     Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    2013: IVF#3/FET#4  Elisabeth CJ born April 30, 2014
    Cerclage, P17, and 3 months of bed rest brought us our Rainbow.
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     Dum spiro, spero.
  • I don't have much advice, my water broke and I delivered my babygirl within 2 hours so I didn't have to be induced. I agree with the girls who suggested taking pictures right away and spend as much time with your baby girl as you can. If I had time to prepare I would've brought a blanket from home to wrap my daughter in, and an outfit I had picked out for her. I would've brought a book to read to her. Luckily for me, while DH and I were spending time with our sweet Jillian, my dad made arrangements with the funeral home. Maybe if you have someone you trust to help you with the arrangements ask them to...so you can really focus on your baby girl.

    Another thing I'm so glad we were able to do is, we buried my daughter in my christening dress from when I was a baby. She's in the same plot with my grandfather, and I love that she's not alone. The day before her funeral DH went to a jewelry store and bought 2 matching necklaces, 1 for her to wear and 1 for me to wear. I love, love that we were able to get her a present. I wanted so badly to be able to give her everything...so I was glad we could give her a beautiful diamond heart necklace. It makes me feel good that I have the matching one.

    Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm praying for your strength to get through the labor. We'll be here for you when you come back. ((hugs))

    Jillian Rose- born 8/26/12 at 24 weeks. "It broke my heart to lose you but you didn't go alone, for a part of me went with you, the day God took you home"
    I love you always, my beautiful girl.

    Hysteroscopy 3/1/13 Dx: Unicornuate uterus

    My Ovulation Chart

    BFP 3/18/13- Please be our Rainbow, we love you so much already.

    6/4/13-Found out we're having a BOY!!

    10/30/13-He's here!! Happy Birthday, Ryan! We love you so much! xo

    Lilypie - (Bfmg)

     

  • I am SO SO sorry about the loss of your daughter.  I went through the same thing and had to be induced to deliver my baby girl on October 2nd.  She was delivered at 12:32 am on October 4th.  My delivery was rough, I didn't dialate from the cytotec they inserted vaginally so they had to try a bunch of different ways to get things moving.  It took a catheder inserted in my cervix combined with pitocin to dialate me enough to deliver. 

    You got a lot of good advice here from the rest of the ladies.  Spend as much time as you need to with your little girl and take your own pictures.  The hospital took some for us as well but they really don't do her any justice.  We also chose to have an autopsy done but it did not give us any answers.  

     ((hugs)) to you and your dh.  I will be thinking about you both and praying for you today. 

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     Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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    BFP#1 - 11/27/09 EDD 8/5/10, DS1 arrived 7/24/10 via emergency c-section.

    BFP#2 - 6/18/12 EDD 2/23/13, sweet baby girl born sleeping on 10/4/12 at 19 weeks, 3 days.

    BFP #3 - 1/18/13 EDD 10/1/13, natural mc on 2/2/13 at 5 weeks, 4 days.

    BFP #4 - 8/29/13 EDD 5/12/14, our sweet rainbow, DS2 born 4/29/14 via c-section

  • I am so very sorry for the loss of your Emmeline. Some of the ladies here have shared their experiences, I also recommend you check out our blog for more on what to expect: http://thelossblog.blogspot.com/.

    I am glad you are getting some time to prepare. My doctor had me wait two days between finding out our Patricia no longer had a heartbeat inducing. It was difficult, but I am glad I got that time to think about what I wanted for my girl.

    The next few days will feel like a horrible nightmare, it is too much to process right now. We are here for you whenever you are ready. Post as often or as little as you like. We are so sad to welcome you to our board, but you are among friends.   

     

  • I have nothing more to add, since everyone gave great advice as they shared their experiences. I was induced the same night that I found out Devon was gone [they gave me the choice to go home and go into labor naturally or to induce - I chose to induce], so I didn't have a lot of time to think about things. In the end, I don't regret anything about how his delivery went, because I think it all wound up for the best.

    The next few days will be unimaginably hard - but we're here to support you. I'm so, so sorry to welcome you here.

    ________________________________________________________________________________


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  • Everyone has posted great advice and suggestions. Everyone's experience on this board is different. I was induced at 10 days being overdue and had an abruption at 4 cm. and an emergency C-section. I didn't get time to prepare for any of this. Lillian was born dead but after 15 minutes she was able to be revived. After hospital transfers and tests and being told she was brain dead, we took her off life support and spent 17 grueling hours waiting for her last breath. My entire time spent with her was spent telling her it was okay to die. I didn't know any of this would happen and my biggest regret was focusing so much on her dying that I didn't get to focus on her living.

    What to expect really depends how long you are going to be in the hospital. I delivered her Thursday afternoon and was discharged Sunday evening. Lillian took her last breath on Friday night. I don't know how your stay is going to go, so I'm not going to hold back on what you can expect. I want to include it all in case you are there for a while.

    1. I had a sinus infection when I went in and when I was told everything of course I was crying uncontrollably. All this lead to my sinuses swelling. Duh, you think, but I couldn't smell my baby. I wanted to smell that baby smell and smell her sweet breath. You might want to do this, think about packing some Vics or something to clear your sinuses if this is important.
    2. Have your own camera with you. Ours was obviously already packed for a happy occasion, but I'm glad I remembered to grab it when I was taken from post op to see her. You said she is breech, so I'm not sure if you will have to have a C-section or not. You might want pictures of that. Here's my advice...take a picture of everything, even if you aren't sure. Usually, we are told, when in doubt -don't, but in this case, take pictures of everything. The beauty is that you can always delete them or tear them up, but you can never get them back. It's ok to have a picture of just you and your significant other as well. She doesn't have to be in all of them to make them meaningful. We also had our OB holding our baby...he subsequently broke down immediately following and my 6'8" significant other had to go to him and support him. It's hard on EVERYONE at the hospital when a baby dies. After all, they are in the happy business of bring babies into this world, not seeing them out.
    3. Take pictures of family members holding her. They have been happy and excited as well and they might want a copy as well. Our parents, siblings and their children were called to the hospital and I let everyone hold her that wanted to and I offered to take a picture. I let them know I would not be offended if they did not want to, but I didn't want to deny them the opportunity. They will be afraid to ask for themselves.
    4. We took a lock of her hair, got her foot and handprints on the official hospital card with her height, weight and head measurements. Usually they only do feet, ask for the hands. Also, take LOTS of hand and feet prints! I found out that there are lots of remembrance jewelry out there that allow you to use actual hand/foot prints. We are having a picture of her etched on her headstone as well as her prints. We will get them back, but you might not get them back from anyone else that has to use them.
    5. Ask if you can bathe your daughter. Maybe you will want pictures of that as well. I had our nurse bathe Lillian because I couldn't get out of bed to do it. Lillian had 2 poopy diapers that I asked if her Daddy could change. I couldn't do it, but I thought it was an experience one of us should have! I don't know if your daughter could have the chance of having her bowels release, but if they do and you want to, you should ask if you guys could change it and take a picture. It's a normal thing to want to do. My point is, after I knew that my daughter wasn't going to survive, I was no longer afraid to ask anything because I knew I would never get the chance again.
    6. We were told we could have her as long as we wanted, that we could even keep her with us overnight or as long as we stayed at the hospital. Even if we gave her to the hospital to take away, they keep them on the floor until we checked out. They've had parents turn them over and then end up wanting them back or wanting to say a final goodbye. The night she passed was the first time we'd slept in close to 48 hrs. and I slept, holding her in my arms while her father slept right next to us both. It was the best experience for me. For one night, I got to be with my baby as I should have been and it didn't matter to me that she wasn't breathing. It might sounds awful, but I didn't have to worry about anyone rolling on her or SIDS.
    7. Something I didn't expect and that really upset me...Lillian was 6lbs. 13 oz when she was born...the morning after she passed and I slept with her, it felt like she weighed 10 lbs or more. I wasn't prepared for this, nor could anyone tell me why this happened or what caused it. I asked anyone I saw for the remainder of my time there, no answer. Her Daddy said maybe that's where the term 'dead weight' comes from. I tell you this because I'm not sure how the weight issue is with a baby born sleeping. But like I said, if you have a lot of time with your daughter, I wanted you to be prepared. It was quite a shock for me and it was more upsetting then I let on. This is traumatic enough, surprises aren't really welcomed.
    8. The next morning, once her death had time to settle in, she had blood under the tips or her finger/toenails, that REALLY upset her Daddy. Also, her perfect squishy baby lips were fused together and dried out. Had she had black hair instead of light brown/auburn, she would have looked like snow white!
    9. We had pictures taken the morning we checked out. I'd never heard of NILMDTS and the hospital did call on our behalf, however I had them cancel it because the photographer that was scheduled to take her newborn session and our family photos the following weekend, offered to come. I'd never met her but I felt a connection with her b.c we'd emailed a few times leading up to Lillian's arrival about session prep. To this day, it's her who I find myself wanting to hang around, over close friends because she shared in my experience and some very private moments. Regret---that I didn't have her come sooner to take pictures sooner. You can photograph the birth if you wish. Not that I would have in my case, but I never knew and I might have liked the option when everything was going as planned.
    10. We gave Lillian to the nurse the night after she passed and they kept her on the floor. We just needed a night to ourselves after everything. Her pictures were the following morning. She was held in a cooler overnight, I didn't think about what could happen to her body in there. When I got her the next morning, her left cheek was smooshed up. I was devastated because I wanted her photos to be perfect. My baby didn't look that way after she died and I didn't feel bad about how I wanted her to look. Her head must have rolled to the side overnight and if stuck that way and couldn't be fixed. Her pictures still turned out beautiful because they were all from her right side. Also, most likely, all your photos (if professionally done) will be in black and white. They are more forgiving to any blemishes or discoloring and will most likely be professionally retouched. We had our professional photos at her funeral service. Do that if you want everyone to see your baby. You will want her existence validated.
    11. No matter how your situation turns out and how long or soon you are discharged...say your final goodbye. Ask your hospital ahead of time if you can see your baby right before you leave. We had turned Lillian over to them, but let them know that when everything was loaded in the car and he came back up to wheel me out we wanted her brought back in. We both had our time with her. I wanted to feel her in my arms one last time. You are leaving your baby behind, and that's the most unnatural thing for a parent. As a Mother, you expect to leave the hospital with an empty womb, you do not expect to leave with empty arms.

    As far as other things to expect once you no longer physically have your daughter...I didn't want to leave my hospital room. It was a safe place. That's where I spent my Lillian's entire life. Everyone there knew us, knew her, knew what we went thru and went thru it with us. We didn't have to smile or say we were 'okay' or 'fine' like we do know because we really can't answer the 'how are you' question b.c honestly, we don't know how we feel, it can't be put into words. Leaving that Sunday evening was the hardest thing...truth be told, everything you do for the first time now will feel like the hardest thing. The first car ride together, because she isn't there, the first time you leave the house by yourself, the first time you drive yourself, the first walk you go on b.c you are supposed to be pushing a stroller, the first time you visit her grave after the burial. Every first feels like it is the hardest thing, until you do it, and then you realize it isn't the hardest thing and it gets easier the next time you do it. It won't be easy every time, but it also won't ever feel like it did the first time.

    One last thing...Lillian's brother, her Daddy and I all have our own headband that she wore. Our son has the one she wore the entire time she was alive and was wearing when she passed, her Daddy and I each have one that she wore in our photos we had taken after she passed and they are on our rearview mirrors along with a charm that my co-worker got each of us that say's Mommy's/Daddy's Angel on one side and then Lillian 9-28-12 on the other. I kiss it every time I get in my car. We also had an open casket because her Daddy decided she was too beautiful not to share. So we had his mom and sisters go out and buy ALL the girliest dresses, hair bows, tights and shoes they could find. It didn't matter what color. We had them brought to us and made the final decision on what she would wear. She was SUPER tiny for being 41 wks. 3 days and we ended up using an FAO Swartz (from BRU) 3 mth shirt as a dress. I know your daughter will be uber tiny, but I have read where other mom's bought doll clothes or even used a dress from a their favorite childhood doll. No matter what you choose, if it is too big, rest assured the funeral home can pin it so it fits her, just like they do manikins in the store and she will be beautiful. We even gave them one of my nail polishes that our son bought me to have her nails painted....remember, the tips bothered her Daddy, but I know they would have airbrushed the makeup over them anyway. Even if you don't have an open casket, you can still do all these things and I LOVE that one Mommy has a necklace that she shares with her daughter. You can see your baby before the casket is closed as well and take pictures of her all done up if you like. I did and I'm glad I got to see her all frillied up. We also made our own CD to be played at the funeral services. I can suggest songs if you would like because they are harder to find than you think.

    I'm sorry, I know this is REALLY LONG but there were so many things I had to share. I know our experiences are completely different, but you don't think or have time to process things once the process starts and I don't want you to feel like you missed out on an experience or something because you didn?t think about it and then beat yourself up over it. We all say to be gentle with yourself, when in fact it's because it's easier to say than actually do and we've all beat ourselves up at some point.

    Anyone who reads this can feel free to post a message to me on here, or email me at nlarson@conteches.com. Maybe some of this stuff should be added to the blog posting.

     

  • Thank you again ladies.  Every experience I read is of great help mentally, emotionally and preparation-ally.  I would have never thought of these things myself in this state of mind.  You are a such a blessing to me right now.  
    John & Katherine, sittin' in a tree, . . . . Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • Siggy warning

     

     

     

    I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby girl.  I don't really have anything to add other than what the other ladies have already said, but know that I'll be thinking of you, your family, and your little girl.  I hate to welcome you to the board, but I'm glad you found us.  I hope you'll find support here.

    Mom to Eliott Alexander, born sleeping at 37 weeks on 8/13/10. Most of us only dream of angels - I held one in my arms.
    BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
    BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
    Too beautiful for this earth
    BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
  • It looks like you are 24 weeks, based on your siggy. I had my baby girl at 22w4d. I was told I could get an epidural and planned on doing so. I was also told I would not make it to 10 cm. I was induced at 6pm, at about midnight I started feeling the pain. I was able to sleep well up until then. I told the nurse I was in pain and she said I was not having contractions and gave me pain killers via IV. That helped enough to get me to 4am when I felt the pain was much worse. I told the nurse again and she said I was not having contractions that it must be cramps and gave me more pain killers. An hour later I felt a ton of pressure and before any of the hospital staff could make it into the room I delivered my little girl. According to the nurse I was not having contractions, but I knew my cramps were more than just cramps! I had only made it to 5 cm. I don't know if my baby was breech, but with the baby being as small as it is it might not matter. My advice is listen to your body, you know it better than anyone. If you want an epidural you tell them right away. Personally I loved that I did not get one. I am glad I was able to feel what was going on, especially when I was being told nothing was happening. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you. I highly recommend support groups. It is so nice to meet with people going through similar situations. This board is really good for that too! ((HUGS))
    Married my BFF 1/7/2012
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    BFP #1 3/17/12, EDD 11/25/12, born sleeping 7/26/12 @22w4d
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    ~PGAL/PAL Always Welcome~
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    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I am so sorry for the loss of your little girl. We had an autopsy done since this was the first time I lost any babies. It came back she was healthy as can be. I lost all my fluid and had an infection and just wanted to make sure. I was induced last yr at 25wks on 10/7 at 3p and had her on 10/8 at 2:55a. At first I wasn't sure about seeing her or holding her but when Bri was born I held her for 7hrs straight. I regretted not taking my own pictures of her or with her. The hospital took some, which I am grateful for. They had us pick a funeral home and we had to decide if we should do a burial or cremation. We chose cremation. I wanted to keep her with me. My milk came in a day after I had her. I never realized it would come in still so it was kind of a shock. What helped that was wearing a tight sports bra and putting cabbage leaves in it to help dry up my milk. Also no water hitting your breasts as that will encourage let down and it'll take longer to dry up. I also heard that the doctor could give you medicine to help you dry up sooner.

    Again, I am so sorry this is happening. I wish you the best tomorrow and we are here for you whenever your ready. 

    Tim 12/30/00 Brad 4/30/02 Alex 9/29/03 Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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