3rd Trimester

Circumcision (I couldn't find an answer to exactly what I was wondering in other posts)

So I know it is completely a personal decision, but I still can't decide.  My DH and first boy are both circumcised, but I hated doing it to my first son.  I don't think the anesthesia took affect, and they used this horrible metal clamp thing, and it was total agony for him and me.  Plus, afterward the gauze they used over the incision dried onto it and it was agony again trying to get it off.  It was just such a horrible experience.  But my worry is that if I don't circumcise our second son he will feel awkward and different because his brother and dad are.  I don't want that to be a problem.  There are enough insecurities that come with being a middle child (we're planning on having at least one more after this), that I don't want to add to it.  Any advise?  Do any of you have older boys that are different from another member of their immediate family?  Has there been questions or awkwardness because they are different? 
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Re: Circumcision (I couldn't find an answer to exactly what I was wondering in other posts)

  • My boys will be different. DH is done, and this LO will be because I let him decide. I was a single mother when I had DS, and I opted against it. I suppose I'll have to explain it one day, but ill cross that bridge when I come to it.
     

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  • Ugh. Your experience is not encouraging. Of course, you could discuss your concerns with whoever it doing the procedure- and be sure that gauze doesn't dry this time. I plan to be watching like a hawk and to ask a ton of questions. I totally understand your reservations in doing it again. 

    As an aside, DH and his brother (6 years older) both were circumcised in the same ceremony. He remembers it! And he is still wanting LO to be circumcised! 

    GL in your decision. And whatever you decide, I'm sure things will work out just fine.  

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  • DH and DS are circ'd. We didn't watch them do it to DS but we were in the next room. It was quick and he cried for like 10 seconds. We never had any issues with healing. Most of my friends with boys chose to circ and they've never had an issue. I think you had an unusual experience which was kind of traumatic and I can see why you would be on the fence. Obviously, it's completely up to you and your DH, but for me if DH and DS were already circ'd I would go ahead and do it.
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  • There are different techniques that can be used; I'd look in to those and talk to the pediatrician and/or OB.

    We're going to circ as it can cut back on the odds of contracting a STD.
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  • I dated a guy who was not circ'd, but his brother was. The reason was because it was so "traumatic" for the mom. He didn't really care since being uncirc'd was his norm. Our son is, and if we have another boy, he will be too. I guess, luckily, it was not that big of a deal. DH went with him and said he didn't even cry. And just a tip, when removing gauze, it makes it much easier if it is dampened when removed.
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  • My grandfather was not circ'd and when he and my grandmother were newlyweds, they ended up passing yeast infections back and forth, even though they were both very good about cleaning. He opted to get circ'd when he was in his early 20s and said that it was awful and he wished that his mother had done it when he was born.
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  • Yeah, I did dampen the gauze.  In fact I soaked him for like 20 minutes and it still was agony for him.  However, the actual circumcision could have been this bad because it was done in China and they don't generally circumcise, so maybe the doctor just hadn't done it enough times to be good at it (even though she said she had done it many times before).  
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  • I wouldn't worry about your boys comparing themselves to each other.  If it comes up just explain it in age appropriate terms.  I understand why you're thinking about this, but I do think you're overthinking it.  You did it once, it wasn't a good experience, you changed your mind, and that's all you need.  I honestly think that boys comparing themselves to one another or to their father is one of the dumbest reasons to circ.  Only because I really don't think it's as big of an issue as people make it out to be.  Men don't spend that much time looking at one another.
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  • We are circing over here as well. Our pedi does the Plastibell procedure. It's much easier healing from  what I've read. In the big picture I'd rather they experience the discomfort now, than if they needed it say 10 years from now. It does cut down on infection, UTI's, and STD's. Though very slightly, it is still enough for me to want to do it. Plus DH is and I want them to look the same.
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  • Every time I read "I want him to match his Daddy" or, in this case, Daddy and siblings, I start to wonder how often we're all running around naked with each other.  I suppose siblings may bathe together, but that's about it in my world.  I wouldn't use fear of being "different" from the rest of the family as a reason to either do it or not do it.
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  • If you don't want to do it, I would not let the fact that your sons will be different change you mind. How often will they be naked together and comparing. Plus, people look different... whether you do it or don't, he's going to see the other option one day. I don't think it's a big deal, and I would not do it if I were you.
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  • uhhhhhhhhh not getin ur lil boy cut is weird i mean how hes gona have an ugly penis if u dont get it done and his future gfs r gona laugh at his turlenck lol i had sex wit this uncut dude once SO WEIRD lol
  • We are having a girl, but this just came up in conversation with my DH.. He has always been self conscious about not being circumsised. While talking with his brother who is younger than him he found out his brother is, and was kind of taken by suprise. He hasnt asked his mom why but he assumes its because his dad was being "cheap" For whatever reason its something that really bothers him. If we were to have a boy next, he will definitely be circumsised. Because of how uncomfortable my husbad has always been with himself.
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  • image JamieJewlz:
    uhhhhhhhhh not getin ur lil boy cut is weird i mean how hes gona have an ugly penis if u dont get it done and his future gfs r gona laugh at his turlenck lol i had sex wit this uncut dude once SO WEIRD lol

    Oh just shut it already.
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  • I would say that my son, as well as my nephew who is 6 see their dad's penis' enough to ask questions and want to look the same. Changing, going to the bathroom, showering, showering after swimming... it may not make a difference to some, but as far as the comment about running around naked, I think they see each other naked more than you think.

    We decided to circumcise DS mostly for cleanliness reasons, but DH also is and it is the norm to him. We have also heard stories from men who had to get it done later in life and can remember and it was traumatic for both.

    It is a personal decision, but if it is something you want to do you need to talk to your OB in advance about your concerns and explain what happened last time.






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  • Ooph, I would never consider allowing my baby to be circumcised. The very thought of putting a brand new infant (who just had a tough delivery, he did squeeze himself through a tiny hole, thats pretty traumatic, and possibly painful) through a surgery!  They typically don't give anesthetic, and think about how painful it will be for you to pee with all those stitches and the acidic urine all over your tears! Owwa I had to pee in a bucket of warm water for two weeks due to the pain and fear of pain with urination. The vary thought of the little tyke going through such a process and I want to bawl.  Its pure selfishness to have a baby circumcised.  If they want it done let them do it when they are older, can make the choice for themselves and can handle the healing like a man.  

    Ask your husband if he could picture himself having one now! He will probably freak at the thought, so why would you do such a thing to an infant! Its going to hurt for a long time, and the baby has no way to communicate that and there is nothing you can do to help with the pain, drugging a baby up is terribly harmful and dangerous.  I wish parents would think before they put their brand new babies on the surgery table where some heartless surgeon is going to hack their poor penis and they have no say in it.  Every time I see my husbands scars I cringe knowing it must have been a mess, and so terribly painful.  

    Give your babies a strong healthy start to life don't start hacking parts off of them because "you think it LOOKS weird"  That should be their decision when they are an adult.

    ooph I'm sick to my stomach over the issue.

  • My first was (unfortunately) circumcised, and I regret it.  If DD had been another boy, we were not going to circumcise again.
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  • I is a personal decision. We will have our LO circumcised, never even thought about it. I'd rather do it now then when/if he decides to have it done later in life.

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  • image kielpinskim:
    My grandfather was not circ'd and when he and my grandmother were newlyweds, they ended up passing yeast infections back and forth, even though they were both very good about cleaning. He opted to get circ'd when he was in his early 20s and said that it was awful and he wished that his mother had done it when he was born.

    This! My grandfather also had it done when he was an adult and said it was awful. He wished it had been done as a baby too! As for the gauze sticking, it should have been coated in vaseline before it was put on him. We only use vaseline gauze at our hospital for circumcisions because if you don't the gauze sticks and is very painful. Just check with the hospital and docs about different ways of circumcision if that's what you are wanting to do. As for our LO we will be circumcising for sure just because of the STD risks, UTI risks, penile cancer risks, and hygienic reasons. 

    Not sure where Pearlsnow saw a circumcision done the way she is describing but that way does sound awful! Anesthetic IS generally given if it is done in hospital or by a doctor and I have never seen a baby with stitches after a circumcision...not sure why he would have them. Whatever you decide you have to be comfortable with that decision and so does the baby's father. 

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  • After my son was circumcised, he would not stop bleeding and had to stay an extra night in the hospital. It was hours of pure torture as they tried to put stitches in and the only "anesthesia" used was sugar water in an oral syringe.

    Six months later -- after his foreskin largely grew back -- he had to have a circumcision revision under general anesthesia. 

    Fortunately, we have had no more problems since (he's 6 years old, now). But, I would NEVER opt for circumcision again. I also let my husband decide and believe me, he paid for making the wrong choice.

    Pure torture, for my baby boy and us. To be honest, I am grateful I am having a girl this time for this reason.


  • Having a boy and circing. My ob does the procedure and she uses anesthetic...not just sugar water. Ask for it to be done that way! Also, please look up advise and advice. They are not interchangeable.
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  • image nk1220:
    Having a boy and circing. My ob does the procedure and she uses anesthetic...not just sugar water. Ask for it to be done that way! Also, please look up advise and advice. They are not interchangeable.

     

    This is good ADVICE. But, I would also ask if you can have a urologist do it. My pediatrician told me that when the OBs do it, they never see the babies again for a follow up and really have no idea how their "work" turns out.


  • DH and DS are both circ'd.  

    We are having a girl this time around, but had this LO been a boy, we'd opt against circumcision because it was not a good experience for us or DS. 

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  • This really is a very personal decision and based on what I've read here everyone has different experience with it. I'm not having any of my sons circ'd if I have sons team green btw. Religion, personal experience, and your environment are the only influence you should consider. My husband is not circ'd and neither are his brothers. They have never had any issues or regrets, MIL didn't have to deal with infections or anything unpleasant. But I know many Ppl do have issues with it. It's all the individual and how you will handle a given situation
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  • 1. Like I said earlier, look up the different methods and talk to doctors who will use the method you most agree with.

    2. A doctor that does not use a numbing agent is not someone you should allow near your child with a knife. As the parent, you should do your own research and ask lots of questions AND be in the room when they do it so as to confirm your wishes have been followed.

    3. If your child is still in pain days after a procedure of any kind, there is a problem. And you'll know if they are in pain.

    I still hold to my "Do what you are most comfortable with." Stance. However, one MUST do their research first, regardless of if you have already made up your mind or not.
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  • image JamieJewlz:
    uhhhhhhhhh not getin ur lil boy cut is weird i mean how hes gona have an ugly penis if u dont get it done and his future gfs r gona laugh at his turlenck lol i had sex wit this uncut dude once SO WEIRD lol

     

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  • This LO is a girl so fortunately that is a decision we do not have to make.  My son is circumcised.

     I let my DH decide and he knew of several men who where circumcised later on because of infections and foreskins that wouldn't retract properly.  Here the procedure is done by a urologist, and a topical aneasthetic is used.  

    We literally gobbed vaseline on by the tablespoon full and never had any problem with it sticking.  We didn't have problems like you had but I literally wanted to cry every time I changed C's diaper.  It sounds as though you had an extra bad experience.

    If you still feel that there are medical or personal reasons that make you think about circumcision.  I'd talk to friends with boys, talk to your family doctor and get some good recommendations for providers to do the circumcision.  If you decide against it I wouldn't let the aesthetics bother you, the boys probably won't care and went they are very young I'd just explain it along the lines of some people have blue eyes and some people have brown eyes.

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  • image Amarisinsjz:
    Yeah, I did dampen the gauze.  In fact I soaked him for like 20 minutes and it still was agony for him.  However, the actual circumcision could have been this bad because it was done in China and they don't generally circumcise, so maybe the doctor just hadn't done it enough times to be good at it (even though she said she had done it many times before).  

    Our DS's went very well.  I could see how another country who doesn't have a high circ rate could possibly have different procedures that might it more uncomfortable for both baby and parents.  I would ask your doctor which method they use and research it before making a decision.  Also, our OB (who did it) told us to put vaseline on it with every diaper change (never had guaze.)  The vaseline keeps it from sticking to the diaper. 

     

     

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  • Both my boys were circumcised but DS1 had "extra skin" at the top that never folded down.  His ped dr said, it was up to us if we wanted to get it redone because he complained of itching even though he bathed every night and we treated it like he was uncircumcised (pulling it back, wiping gently, etc).  There were enough medical reasons with the itching and lesions from the skin not falling back on its own to have specialist recommend he get it redone.  And thankfully medical professionals recently came forward with acknowledging it is better to be circumcised to avoid infections, STDs, like PP yeast infections or I would have never been able to do it for cosmetic reasons only.

    Let me tell you, it is much worse to deal with a 5 yr old who walks around and was in pain after the surgery than when they were babies and its less invasive and heals faster since they are immobile. To OP, I would really look into the benefits of it before deciding against it - it is much worse if  you decide later on to do it.  And I know he is very young and doesn't fully understand the difference, but even at 5 when we asked him if he  wanted to get it done - he said yes he wants his to look like daddy's and  DS2. I didn't make this decision rashly, I did a lot of thinking and researching, we are all happy we had it redone.

  • image pearlsnow:
    Ooph, I would never consider allowing my baby to be circumcised. The very thought of putting a brand new infant who just had a tough delivery, he did squeeze himself through a tiny hole, thats pretty traumatic, and possibly painful through a surgery! nbsp;They typically don't give anesthetic, and think about how painful it will be for you to pee with all those stitches and the acidic urine all over your tears! Owwa I had to pee in a bucket of warm water for two weeks due to the pain and fear of pain with urination. The vary thought of the little tyke going through such a process and I want to bawl. nbsp;Its pure selfishness to have a baby circumcised. nbsp;If they want it done let them do it when they are older, can make the choice for themselves and can handle the healing like a man. nbsp;Ask your husband if he could picture himself having one now! He will probably freak at the thought, so why would you do such a thing to an infant! Its going to hurt for a long time, and the baby has no way to communicate that and there is nothing you can do to help with the pain, drugging a baby up is terribly harmful and dangerous. nbsp;I wish parents would think before they put their brand new babies on the surgery table where some heartless surgeon is going to hack their poor penis and they have no say in it. nbsp;Every time I see my husbands scars I cringe knowing it must have been a mess, and so terribly painful. nbsp;Give your babies a strong healthy start to life don't start hacking parts off of them because "you think it LOOKS weird" nbsp;That should be their decision when they are an adult.ooph I'm sick to my stomach over the issue.


    They typically DO use anesthetic and I've never heard of a circumcised infant having stitches.

    I'm all for opposing view points but they do not have "their penis hacked on by a heartless surgeon."

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    Jacob, 1/14/13
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