January 2013 Moms

FFFC

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26 years old, married since June 2009, DS born 1/19/13
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Re: FFFC

  • At work we are able to borrow tables and chairs at no cost so I volunteered to get them and drop them off for my baby shower tomorrow. I pretended to be on limited activity so that one of the maintenence guys would load 20 chairs into my car.
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  • MH was sick overnight with either a stomach bug or food poisoning.  I'm really hoping it's food poisoning so that DS and I don't catch it.  I'm more worried about catching whatever he has than about MH right now.  Not that I don't feel bad for him, but ZOMG it's already been a rough week if the whole household ends up with the stomach flu it may send me off the deep end Tongue Tied
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  • I will only be having one baby shower, which was last weekend.  I can't help but be annoyed that I didn't get much off my registry, and I got a ton of crap I don't want or need (like...baby sunglasses?!), that now I'm toting around to stores trying to return and figure out what is from where because nobody got me gift receipts.  It also makes me mad that there are a number of friends who already have kids who were invited but couldn't make it, and didn't send a gift, considering I was very generous for their baby showers.  Finally, my SIL's gift (we got her the monitor from her registry which wasn't cheap) was a box of hand-me-down baby items she got from her friend, which she had already picked through and taken all the stuff she wanted.  Seriously?!
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  • So I have something to confess/vent about today. I realize I'm being a completely selfish *** for feeling this way, and I would never say any of this to anyone I know IRL so I just want to get it off my chest--

    My best friend just told me yesterday that she is not coming to my shower tomorrow (after promising for weeks that she was going, couldn't wait & was really excited for it, etc.). Although I completely understand why-- she is in her first semester of law school (while also working full time) & apparently one of her professors sprung two huge assignments on her this week, plus she & her BF are moving into a new place this weekend, and my shower is three hours away from where she lives so it would take up her whole Saturday-- I am still really sad that she won't be there for what will probably be my only baby shower. I specifically chose this date because she said she would be able to come then (originally she & her BF were going to make a weekend out of it since it's so far away), and since she found out she was moving a couple weeks ago DH & I have bent over backwards to try to help her & her BF get ready for the move... but they refused most of our help & waited until this week to do everything which is a big part of why she's now trying to cram all this stuff into one weekend. :-</p>

    I guess what really hurts is that she does things like this all the time. Our relationship is really unbalanced, because I am always there for her & whatever she's going through... but when I really need her she bails for one reason or another. She was the MOH for my wedding as well, & it was like pulling teeth to even get her to return my phone calls for the 6 months or so leading up to the wedding because she was working as a paralegal for a huge law firm at the time and it totally dominated her life (she did, at least, show up to the wedding). Even after she finished with the law firm & got a much more laid-back job, we've hardly see each other even though we both work in the city & live less than 20 minutes apart... if it weren't for gchat I'd don't think we'd be keeping in touch at all.

    I know it's not that she doesn't care about me, she's just one of those scatter-brained people who doesn't know how to create balance in her life & sucks at keeping in touch with people... but it's starting to get really old having a "best friend" who is like this. Sad I don't have a lot of close friends these days anyway, particularly since we moved to the DC area, and although I love my DH I really miss having someone to do girly things with and just have that emotional support from in the way that only your girlfriends can, you know?

    Sigh, okay vent over! Sorry for the novel. Again, I realize I'm being a selfish a$$ for feeling this way & will get over it eventually. Embarrassed

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    26 years old, married since June 2009, DS born 1/19/13
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    Dear Baby Pacheco...
  • Pre-pregnancy I swore off mcdonalds. It is so bad for you. I ate a big Mac yesterday...
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  • I am so sick of people complaining about their baby shower.  Be thankful that people are spending money on you and your baby and shut up.  No one is obligated to do anything for you so all of your complaints make you sound selfish and ungrateful especially in this economy where people are struggling to make ends meet.  Get over yourself.
  • SIL and her family moved out of state in August and 2 of her kids just celebrated birthdays in the last week to week and a half.  Since we wouldn't be seeing the kids around their birthdays and didn't want to deal with shipping costs, we sent a card with cash for each child.  Not only have we not received a thank you note, but we have not even received any kind of acknowledgement that the cards were received.  I am not shocked my tactless SIL would act this way but it really really annoys me.  This also makes me really bitter as I am shopping for Christmas gifts for their family. 

    Possibly even more flame worthy- crap like this makes me not want to make her our daughter's God Mother.  She makes the most sense and probably expects it but when she does things to piss me off, I get crabby and tell DH there is no way she will be the God Mother of our child.   

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  • My shower is tomorrow and my parents, stepparents and sisters get into town tonight...I called in sick to work today so I could clean the apartment and finish getting the nursery ready.
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  • image RachelG1016:
    At work we are able to borrow tables and chairs at no cost so I volunteered to get them and drop them off for my baby shower tomorrow. I pretended to be on limited activity so that one of the maintenence guys would load 20 chairs into my car.
    What! Don't feel bad about this! I think we're at this point in our pregnancy where we can start accepting all the help people seem to want to give us at all turns. At 5 months, I wanted to prove I could still do everything myself...now? I'm just yelling "I NEED SOMEONE TO GET THIS WATER COOLER FOR THE PREGNANT LADY." We only have 2 more months...enjoy :-)


     

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  • image amnat84:
    image RachelG1016:
    At work we are able to borrow tables and chairs at no cost so I volunteered to get them and drop them off for my baby shower tomorrow. I pretended to be on limited activity so that one of the maintenence guys would load 20 chairs into my car.
    What! Don't feel bad about this! I think we're at this point in our pregnancy where we can start accepting all the help people seem to want to give us at all turns. At 5 months, I wanted to prove I could still do everything myself...now? I'm just yelling "I NEED SOMEONE TO GET THIS WATER COOLER FOR THE PREGNANT LADY." We only have 2 more months...enjoy :-)

     Oh believe me, I don't feel bad about anything other than blantantly lying! LOL

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  • I wouldn't call him astranged, but I've seen my A-hole husband three times this week for various doctors appointments and birthing classes. I've worn leggings and super sexy tops (as much as maternity wear goes lol) every single time just to torture him. I know its working because he keeps accidentally brushing up on me, and I keep turning down his advances. I just want to make him see what he is missing out on.

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  • I'm so sick of again getting comments about how "soon" I'm returning to work.  I'm taking 3-4weeks off before my EDD and 12-14 (depending on birth) after. That's the maximum I can take and still have a job to return to.  If one more well-meaning woman says something along the lines of "Careers come and go, you can always be a lawyer but you only get to be a mother once."
    Yeah, I'm a mom (and pretty good one too), and I'm a lawyer. I've managed to wear both hats for over 2 years now.  I didn't spend 3 years in law school, take the CA bar, and go deeply in debt for nothing.  And no, I can't always be a lawyer. If I took 5 years off like the lady at the grocery store urged me to do, I could not find a job as a lawyer. There are way too many lawyers for the jobs there are now, I don't see that changing in 5 years.
  • image PrivacyWanted:
    I'm so sick of again getting comments about how "soon" I'm returning to work.  I'm taking 3-4weeks off before my EDD and 12-14 (depending on birth) after. That's the maximum I can take and still have a job to return to.  If one more well-meaning woman says something along the lines of "Careers come and go, you can always be a lawyer but you only get to be a mother once."
    Yeah, I'm a mom (and pretty good one too), and I'm a lawyer. I've managed to wear both hats for over 2 years now.  I didn't spend 3 years in law school, take the CA bar, and go deeply in debt for nothing.  And no, I can't always be a lawyer. If I took 5 years off like the lady at the grocery store urged me to do, I could not find a job as a lawyer. There are way too many lawyers for the jobs there are now, I don't see that changing in 5 years.

    You tell em sister!

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  • image PrivacyWanted:
    I'm so sick of again getting comments about how "soon" I'm returning to work.  I'm taking 3-4weeks off before my EDD and 12-14 (depending on birth) after. That's the maximum I can take and still have a job to return to.  If one more well-meaning woman says something along the lines of "Careers come and go, you can always be a lawyer but you only get to be a mother once."
    Yeah, I'm a mom (and pretty good one too), and I'm a lawyer. I've managed to wear both hats for over 2 years now.  I didn't spend 3 years in law school, take the CA bar, and go deeply in debt for nothing.  And no, I can't always be a lawyer. If I took 5 years off like the lady at the grocery store urged me to do, I could not find a job as a lawyer. There are way too many lawyers for the jobs there are now, I don't see that changing in 5 years.

    Ugh, not just the law profession, trust me.  I'm a musician, and I get this "advice" from other moms as well...luckily, most working musicians out there get it and support my plans.  It always stings a little when I get the discouraging comments though, and it's hard for me to remember I earn half our income, and usually the women it comes from don't have to contribute financially or have totally different careers - they always make me feel like a bad mom already, and I haven't even started yet!! 

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  • Husband is out of town this weekend. I'm probably going to eat too many sweets.
  • Oh and I have another.  (Clearly I do not feel like working today)

    On Wednesday we went to our childbirth refresher course.  One woman showed up in her PJs alone.  At first I thought "well if you're going to do it alone, you might as well be comfy." Then her DH showed up about 20 minutes late with a bucket of fried chicken, mashed potatoes and a mountain dew.  For her...all for her.   I judged her hard as she ate that chicken, all of that chicken.

    This may have been influenced by the fact that I continue to have major chicken aversions, but seriously, who eats a bucket of chicken by themselves? In their PJs...in PUBLIC?

  • image ShandaB:
    I am so sick of people complaining about their baby shower.  Be thankful that people are spending money on you and your baby and shut up.  No one is obligated to do anything for you so all of your complaints make you sound selfish and ungrateful especially in this economy where people are struggling to make ends meet.  Get over yourself.

    this 

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  • I plan on leaving at my lunch and taking the rest of the day off sick. My head hurts (it's not excruciating but annoying) and my back has been aching on and off. I don't feel like being here and I'm really just biding my time until I quit since my replacement has taken over most of my duties.
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  • image 2PuppiesHon:
    I will only be having one baby shower, which was last weekend.  I can't help but be annoyed that I didn't get much off my registry, and I got a ton of crap I don't want or need (like...baby sunglasses?!), that now I'm toting around to stores trying to return and figure out what is from where because nobody got me gift receipts.  It also makes me mad that there are a number of friends who already have kids who were invited but couldn't make it, and didn't send a gift, considering I was very generous for their baby showers.  Finally, my SIL's gift (we got her the monitor from her registry which wasn't cheap) was a box of hand-me-down baby items she got from her friend, which she had already picked through and taken all the stuff she wanted.  Seriously?!

     

    I don't blame you one bit. I felt the same way after my baby shower. Whole bunch of baby clothes and only one or two useful items. Nothing off my registry. I was annoyed too especially with those people who asked where I was registered. 

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  • image PrivacyWanted:
    Oh and I have another.nbsp; Clearly I do not feel like working today
    On Wednesday we went to our childbirth refresher course.nbsp; One woman showed up in her PJs alone.nbsp; At first I thought "well if you're going to do it alone, you might as well be comfy." Then her DH showed up about 20 minutes late with a bucket of fried chicken, mashed potatoes and a mountain dew.nbsp; For her...all for her.nbsp;nbsp; I judged her hard as she ate that chicken, all of that chicken.
    This may have been influenced by the fact that I continue to have major chicken aversions, but seriously, who eats a bucket of chicken by themselves? In their PJs...in PUBLIC?


    That's absolutely disgusting.
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  • image 2PuppiesHon:
    I will only be having one baby shower, which was last weekend.  I can't help but be annoyed that I didn't get much off my registry, and I got a ton of crap I don't want or need (like...baby sunglasses?!), that now I'm toting around to stores trying to return and figure out what is from where because nobody got me gift receipts.  It also makes me mad that there are a number of friends who already have kids who were invited but couldn't make it, and didn't send a gift, considering I was very generous for their baby showers.  Finally, my SIL's gift (we got her the monitor from her registry which wasn't cheap) was a box of hand-me-down baby items she got from her friend, which she had already picked through and taken all the stuff she wanted.  Seriously?!

    Sorry, but I'm giving you the huge side-eye for this. You're being a bit selfish. At least you had a baby shower. I can't believe you are complaining.... Instead of complaining about getting sunglasses for your baby, maybe you should be thankful you got anything at all. 


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  • image PrivacyWanted:

    Oh and I have another.  (Clearly I do not feel like working today)

    On Wednesday we went to our childbirth refresher course.  One woman showed up in her PJs alone.  At first I thought "well if you're going to do it alone, you might as well be comfy." Then her DH showed up about 20 minutes late with a bucket of fried chicken, mashed potatoes and a mountain dew.  For her...all for her.   I judged her hard as she ate that chicken, all of that chicken.

    This may have been influenced by the fact that I continue to have major chicken aversions, but seriously, who eats a bucket of chicken by themselves? In their PJs...in PUBLIC?

    And we wonder why pregnant women get bashed for letting ourselves go and eating unhealthy... Thanks lady for furthering this stereotype. 

    Finally pregnant through the miracle of embryo adoption after 3 1/2 years TTC.
    One angel in heaven: 2/23/2010.
    Adopted 6 embryos in September 2011.
    FET with 2 perfect embryos on 4/26/2012.
    Beta #1 (12dp5dt): 315
    Beta #2 (14dp5dt): 714
    Beta #3 (16dp5dt): 1909
    U/S 5w4d: One perfect little bean.
    Ecstatic to be pregnant; but sad that one of our embies joined his/her sibling in heaven.
    U/S 6w5d: HR was 123 bpm; absolutely perfect!
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  • image ShandaB:
    I am so sick of people complaining about their baby shower.  Be thankful that people are spending money on you and your baby and shut up.  No one is obligated to do anything for you so all of your complaints make you sound selfish and ungrateful especially in this economy where people are struggling to make ends meet.  Get over yourself.

     

    I think it's just keeping it real. I'm grateful that people even wanted to buy me anything, I thanked them and wrote out thank you cards. But sorry I'm not sorry I was hoping for something I actually NEED (on the flip side I was SUPER greatful for diapers and wipes I received) rather than clothes). I can still appreciate the time and effort that was made but it's like getting something you don't want at Christmas. You put on a good face and keep your gripes to yourself. That's polite. 

     

    ETA: It's also a "confession" which means something we'd never admit or say to someone else's face. NBD.

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  • image laurapacheco:

    So I have something to confess/vent about today. I realize I'm being a completely selfish *** for feeling this way, and I would never say any of this to anyone I know IRL so I just want to get it off my chest--

    My best friend just told me yesterday that she is not coming to my shower tomorrow (after promising for weeks that she was going, couldn't wait & was really excited for it, etc.). Although I completely understand why-- she is in her first semester of law school (while also working full time) & apparently one of her professors sprung two huge assignments on her this week, plus she & her BF are moving into a new place this weekend, and my shower is three hours away from where she lives so it would take up her whole Saturday-- I am still really sad that she won't be there for what will probably be my only baby shower. I specifically chose this date because she said she would be able to come then (originally she & her BF were going to make a weekend out of it since it's so far away), and since she found out she was moving a couple weeks ago DH & I have bent over backwards to try to help her & her BF get ready for the move... but they refused most of our help & waited until this week to do everything which is a big part of why she's now trying to cram all this stuff into one weekend. :-</p>

    I guess what really hurts is that she does things like this all the time. Our relationship is really unbalanced, because I am always there for her & whatever she's going through... but when I really need her she bails for one reason or another. She was the MOH for my wedding as well, & it was like pulling teeth to even get her to return my phone calls for the 6 months or so leading up to the wedding because she was working as a paralegal for a huge law firm at the time and it totally dominated her life (she did, at least, show up to the wedding). Even after she finished with the law firm & got a much more laid-back job, we've hardly see each other even though we both work in the city & live less than 20 minutes apart... if it weren't for gchat I'd don't think we'd be keeping in touch at all.

    I know it's not that she doesn't care about me, she's just one of those scatter-brained people who doesn't know how to create balance in her life & sucks at keeping in touch with people... but it's starting to get really old having a "best friend" who is like this. Sad I don't have a lot of close friends these days anyway, particularly since we moved to the DC area, and although I love my DH I really miss having someone to do girly things with and just have that emotional support from in the way that only your girlfriends can, you know?

    Sigh, okay vent over! Sorry for the novel. Again, I realize I'm being a selfish a$$ for feeling this way & will get over it eventually. Embarrassed

    Nah, I don't think you're being selfish. I am actually dealing with the same thing with one of my close friends. She almost didn't come to my baby shower because she said she didn't have money to get a gift. My sister (the host) tried explaining to her that its not about the gifts, it's about celebrating a new life & something that is important to DH & I. Well, that was 3-4 weeks ago, and she just came out and said she's been really depressed lately. She hasn't wanted to go anywhere besides work & home. Her & her DH were having marital problems, & her step daughter is now only with them every other weekend. So she had a lot going on that she for some reason didn't share with everyone & it all built up & eventually blew up one day. Maybe ask your friend if everything is alright?


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  • image laurapacheco:

    I guess what really hurts is that she does things like this all the time. Our relationship is really unbalanced, because I am always there for her & whatever she's going through... but when I really need her she bails for one reason or another. She was the MOH for my wedding as well, & it was like pulling teeth to even get her to return my phone calls for the 6 months or so leading up to the wedding because she was working as a paralegal for a huge law firm at the time and it totally dominated her life (she did, at least, show up to the wedding). Even after she finished with the law firm & got a much more laid-back job, we've hardly see each other even though we both work in the city & live less than 20 minutes apart... if it weren't for gchat I'd don't think we'd be keeping in touch at all.

    I know it's not that she doesn't care about me, she's just one of those scatter-brained people who doesn't know how to create balance in her life & sucks at keeping in touch with people... but it's starting to get really old having a "best friend" who is like this. Sad I don't have a lot of close friends these days anyway...I really miss having someone to do girly things with and just have that emotional support from in the way that only your girlfriends can, you know?

    I completely understand... My BFF helped throw my first shower and I'm very grateful. She also promised she'd come to my second shower since we don't get to spend a lot of time together (I think we see each other about 3-4 times a year since we live about an hour away from each other). About 2 weeks before the 2nd shower, she was telling me how busy she was going to be the weekend of the shower. She never came out and said she wasn't going to be able to make it, but it was obvious what she was getting at with her laundry list of obligations. I understand she works full-time, has 2 kids in sports with practices/games every day of the week, along with other obligations, but it gets old playing second fiddle all the time. I wish I wasn't the one always reaching out... For once, I'd like her to call me up and suggest meeting for dinner... Like your friend, it's not that she doesn't care, she just fills her plate with more than she can manage.

    Finally pregnant through the miracle of embryo adoption after 3 1/2 years TTC.
    One angel in heaven: 2/23/2010.
    Adopted 6 embryos in September 2011.
    FET with 2 perfect embryos on 4/26/2012.
    Beta #1 (12dp5dt): 315
    Beta #2 (14dp5dt): 714
    Beta #3 (16dp5dt): 1909
    U/S 5w4d: One perfect little bean.
    Ecstatic to be pregnant; but sad that one of our embies joined his/her sibling in heaven.
    U/S 6w5d: HR was 123 bpm; absolutely perfect!
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  • image ShandaB:I am so sick of people complaining about their baby shower.  Be thankful that people are spending money on you and your baby and shut up.  No one is obligated to do anything for you so all of your complaints make you sound selfish and ungrateful especially in this economy where people are struggling to make ends meet.  Get over yourself. 

     

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  • image PrivacyWanted:

    Oh and I have another.  (Clearly I do not feel like working today)

    On Wednesday we went to our childbirth refresher course.  One woman showed up in her PJs alone.  At first I thought "well if you're going to do it alone, you might as well be comfy." Then her DH showed up about 20 minutes late with a bucket of fried chicken, mashed potatoes and a mountain dew.  For her...all for her.   I judged her hard as she ate that chicken, all of that chicken.

    This may have been influenced by the fact that I continue to have major chicken aversions, but seriously, who eats a bucket of chicken by themselves? In their PJs...in PUBLIC?

    Thanks for that - this made me laugh out loud!!! People are fing crazy!
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  • image hansonam446:

    image ShandaB:
    I am so sick of people complaining about their baby shower.  Be thankful that people are spending money on you and your baby and shut up.  No one is obligated to do anything for you so all of your complaints make you sound selfish and ungrateful especially in this economy where people are struggling to make ends meet.  Get over yourself.

     

    I think it's just keeping it real. I'm grateful that people even wanted to buy me anything, I thanked them and wrote out thank you cards. But sorry I'm not sorry I was hoping for something I actually NEED (on the flip side I was SUPER greatful for diapers and wipes I received) rather than clothes). I can still appreciate the time and effort that was made but it's like getting something you don't want at Christmas. You put on a good face and keep your gripes to yourself. That's polite. 

     

    ETA: It's also a "confession" which means something we'd never admit or say to someone else's face. NBD.

    Really? It's not that hard to return the items you do not need & buy what you do. Plus, it's nobody else's responsibility to provide for the baby you CHOSE to have. I will never understand why anybody would think that. 


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  • image landosmommy:
    image hansonam446:

    image ShandaB:
    I am so sick of people complaining about their baby shower.  Be thankful that people are spending money on you and your baby and shut up.  No one is obligated to do anything for you so all of your complaints make you sound selfish and ungrateful especially in this economy where people are struggling to make ends meet.  Get over yourself.

     

    I think it's just keeping it real. I'm grateful that people even wanted to buy me anything, I thanked them and wrote out thank you cards. But sorry I'm not sorry I was hoping for something I actually NEED (on the flip side I was SUPER greatful for diapers and wipes I received) rather than clothes). I can still appreciate the time and effort that was made but it's like getting something you don't want at Christmas. You put on a good face and keep your gripes to yourself. That's polite. 

     

    ETA: It's also a "confession" which means something we'd never admit or say to someone else's face. NBD.

    Really? It's not that hard to return the items you do not need & buy what you do. Plus, it's nobody else's responsibility to provide for the baby you CHOSE to have. I will never understand why anybody would think that. 

     

    Oh no, don't get me wrong I don't expect people to buy me things for the baby. We've purchased all our big items and have been stocking up on what we need and putting things in savings. I am entirely grateful to even have been offered a shower because I didn't expect one. But truthfully, it's hard to return items with no tags/no receipt. But I didn't return a thing and am keeping the clothes. Like I said, it's not that I don't appreciate the time and effort but babies quickly outgrow clothes, etc. I didn't throw a fit; I thanked everyone personally. And before I got pregnant, I'll admit that the first thing I would buy is baby clothes because they're so adorable. I understand why others do it. I just don't think it's unnatural to feel annoyed. Do I think that warrants throwing a hissy fit and acting like a spoiled brat? Nope. But confessing your feelings online to strangers doesn't make you impolite; just honest.

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  • image hansonam446:

    image ShandaB:
    I am so sick of people complaining about their baby shower.  Be thankful that people are spending money on you and your baby and shut up.  No one is obligated to do anything for you so all of your complaints make you sound selfish and ungrateful especially in this economy where people are struggling to make ends meet.  Get over yourself.

     

    I think it's just keeping it real. I'm grateful that people even wanted to buy me anything, I thanked them and wrote out thank you cards. But sorry I'm not sorry I was hoping for something I actually NEED (on the flip side I was SUPER greatful for diapers and wipes I received) rather than clothes). I can still appreciate the time and effort that was made but it's like getting something you don't want at Christmas. You put on a good face and keep your gripes to yourself. That's polite. 

     

    ETA: It's also a "confession" which means something we'd never admit or say to someone else's face. NBD.

    Yeah, I definitely do not think it makes you a bad person to have feelings. It's how you handle them that counts, and commenting about your annoyance on an anonymous forum (in the "flame-free confessions" thread, no less) is not a bad way to vent some frustration. You just said yourself that you thanked everyone and sent cards and whatnot--you're good. Ya know, cuz my opinion is super-important. ;-)

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