October 2012 Moms

How Long to let LO Cry?

We just put C down for the night upstairs. DH fed her and I changed her. She'll start crying and fussing (can see her on video monitor) and we let her cry a little bit before going up. Maybe a minute or so to see if she'll just soothe herself. /just now she was crying so DH went up and as he was going up she conked out again!

So, how long do you let LO cry before comforting him/her? Obviously we're not doing any cry it out stuff yet, but sometimes she'll cry then just stop and go back to sleep, so we don't want to be jumping right at the beginning of every whimper.

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Re: How Long to let LO Cry?

  • If he's just fussing, I'll let it go for a minute or two. If he starts to really cry, I go comfort him immediately. I can't stand to have my kids cry though.
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  • image LauraT25:

    image daronsmommy:
    If he's just fussing, I'll let it go for a minute or two. If he starts to really cry, I go comfort him immediately. I can't stand to have my kids cry though.

    Pretty much the same, though I will let K just fuss a lot longer - she's gone to sleep for the night after 20 min of fussing before.  Crying though, gets my immediate attention.



    Ditto this. Fussing gets more or less ignored except for when I know we are due for a midnight feeding. A true cry gets my immediate attention
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  • image LauraT25:

    image daronsmommy:
    If he's just fussing, I'll let it go for a minute or two. If he starts to really cry, I go comfort him immediately. I can't stand to have my kids cry though.

    Pretty much the same, though I will let K just fuss a lot longer - she's gone to sleep for the night after 20 min of fussing before.  Crying though, gets my immediate attention.


    Same for us. We've only done CIO a handful of times with 1 and it was always less than 10minutes and after she was 1. I can't do the CIO sleep training, breaks my heart!
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  • If he is just fussing and squirming around I let him go because he usually goes back to sleep after 10 max, as soon as he starts crying I pick him up.
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  • Looks like we are all if a similar mindset here. I will let William fuss and self soothe, but a real cry gets immediate attention.
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  • I didn't think newborns were capable of self-soothing.  It has been a few years since I read Ferber's book is there research to suggest otherwise? I'm pretty sure it's not until 4-6 months old.  My LO gets picked up when she cries and I did the same with her brother.

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  • At his pointing onto him right away unless i cant get to him because i only have two hands and am busy tending to one of the other boys
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  • image teamsweet:
    I didn't think newborns were capable of self-soothing.  It has been a few years since I read Ferber's book is there research to suggest otherwise? I'm pretty sure it's not until 4-6 months old.  My LO gets picked up when she cries and I did the same with her brother.

    Nope, this is correct -- they aren't self soothing at this age.  They are just giving up, for lack of a better phrase.

    Ditto doing the same with this kid -- DS1 was fed on demand and fell into his own sleep schedule.  If he needed to be held, we held him.  At two, he sleeps 12 hours a night, takes a three hour nap, and practically puts himself to bed.  Training, even just with "fussing" at this age isn't the only way to get a "good" sleeper. 

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  • I am the same as others. I will let DD fuss but if she is crying I go to her right away. She generally doesn't just cry for no reason, so if I hear a cry I know she needs something. 
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  • If LO is asleep, I will let her fuss a little bit. I've finally figured out that she fusses in her sleep sometimes, and picking her up actually wakes her up! If she is awake and I'm not in the middle of something, I pick her up when she fusses. If I'm doing something, I'll finish up quickly for fussing but drop everything for real crying.

    So, sounds about like everyone else.

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  • Same as PPs.  I usually check the time to make sure it isn't time for a feeding.  If it isn't, I let him fuss until he actually gives a real cry.
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