1st Trimester

saw my baby (vent)

So I  saw my baby for the first time yesterday and my hubby was out of town. I did manage to take a video for him but I feel bad for seeing our baby without him. Today he is just being a jerk telling me that I'm not helping him with his car insurance (which his car was backed into and the agent wont call me back).He asked me to call her again today but it slipped my mind. He comes home in a couple days but he really makes me feel like it is my fault she wont call me back. It's bad enough I have morning sickness, cramps, and mood swings like they are going out of style. I need to keep it together for my 3 yr old daughter but I feeling like crying, screaming, and ripping his head off all at once. I dont really feel happy anymore about having this baby. What should I do?

Re: saw my baby (vent)

  • So is he being mean to you because you saw the baby and he didn't? Or is this two completely different things? I agree with PP, you can't control if the agent calls you back, and if he is so worried he could call to. Besides asking you if you have called, how is he acting like a jerk? It seems like you are having a lot more problems if he is annoyed about the car insurance and you don't feel "happy" about the baby anymore because of it.  

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  • It's a little of both he is  mad because he wanted to be there to see our baby and I didnt call that agent. He is being a jerk because he is saying  it is my fault I saw the baby and I can control everything the doctor does at the appointments and he act like I've never called this woman (agent) or emailed her asking to contact me. He is just being irrational and driving me crazy!! I had problems with my first childs father and still am and my  hubby I think does things to get under  my skin. I've told him I'm extra sensitive and he just gets aggervated really easy cuz he job is so stressful. It used to not bother me but in the last couple weeks he had made me feel worthless.
  • Was there a medical reason to see the baby? Because usually they make you prepare for it, like drink water. Or you could of asked to wait, he could be upset that you didn't think about it. It is his baby too, I would understand where he was coming from- especially if it is his first child. 

     But either way, you both need to sit down and talk.  

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  • My husband has a really stressful job but he's not a jerk to me because of it. I really don't get why so many people let their spouses treat them badly because of this....

    That said, if I asked my husband to call about something for me (esp if I asked and he agreed more than once), I'd be pretty miffed too. 

    Maybe talk to him about what you can do to help him feel included in the process and appointments. 
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  • I'm sorry you are going through this, but I used to be an insurance agent later I worked for an insurance company, is there any particular reason you are trying to get a hold of the agent? Sometimes they can be a pain in the a to get a hold of and many times they just end up sending you directly to the insurance company. Just call the insurance company, or have hubby call directly, you'll get more done and you won't have to pull out your hair. Only get the agent involved if something doesn't go right with the company, they usually make better middlemen!
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  • He sounds like a nice person. Is his dialing finger broken? And is his BRAIN broken, thinking its all your fault you saw the baby without him?!
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  • Dude, my husband would be LIVID with me if I had an u/s without him present.  He'd be PISSED.

    And pregnancy doesn't excuse you from being a functional human being.  Maybe he feels that you're taking advantage of it.

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  • Really sounds like we're only getting one side of this story...there are factors missing that would really help in understanding the situation...

    Like, did you have this appointment BEFORE he went out of town for work? Was there an option to have it scheduled another time? Did he know you were going to see the baby at this appointment, or was it a surprise when he found out? All these things would make a difference in whether he has right to be upset or he's being a spaz.

    As for the car insurance thing...seems like if he can call you to b*tch he could probably call an insurance agent himself.  

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  • You definitely could have scheduled your u/s appointment around his trip.  Did he bring this up ahead of time or did he only get pissed afterward?  IMO if he told you it was important to him ahead of time and you went anyway because you just couldn't wait a few more days, he has a right to be kind of peeved at you and you should be a bit more understanding.

    I understand that first trimester you feel like crap and have crazy mood swings, but you've got to realize that about yourself and be fair and understanding to DH when he's really legit upset about something.  

  • image monkiem:

    Dude, my husband would be LIVID with me if I had an u/s without him present.  He'd be PISSED.

    And pregnancy doesn't excuse you from being a functional human being.  Maybe he feels that you're taking advantage of it.

    It doesn't sound to me like she intentionally scheduled an u/s when her husband couldn't be there.  It sounds like she went for an appointment and her doctor decided to do it then.  Either way, it's immature to be "LIVID" or "PISSED" about it.

    And why is it her job to take care of his car insurance in the first place?  OP, did you wreck his car? 

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  • Geez, i'm sorry I don't have much advice..I cannot even come close to relating to this whatsoever...If it were to happen to me where my dr randomly sent me in for a US, my hubby would not care the slightest, hes so laid back and care free though, and sure there have been plenty of times where we've asked eachother to do something and forgotten but we don't call eachother names and create world war three over it....we appologize and get it done. Don't take this offensivly but this post just reminds me how much I freaking love my husband.

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  • I feel like there's more to this story.

    You say you don't feel like having his baby now because you're having an argument over calling insurance? Because that seems a tad dramatic to me. 

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  • image homebird:

    I feel like there's more to this story.

    You say you don't feel like having his baby now because you're having an argument over calling insurance? Because that seems a tad dramatic to me. 

     

    Yeah, this...

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  • You're having a bad day, and therefore you don't feel happy about being pregnant? Wow.


  • If my husband was LIVID with me about an ultrasound... I would assist him in seeking professional help. That is bull...
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  • image kacelle:
    image monkiem:

    Dude, my husband would be LIVID with me if I had an u/s without him present.  He'd be PISSED.

    And pregnancy doesn't excuse you from being a functional human being.  Maybe he feels that you're taking advantage of it.

    It doesn't sound to me like she intentionally scheduled an u/s when her husband couldn't be there.  It sounds like she went for an appointment and her doctor decided to do it then.  Either way, it's immature to be "LIVID" or "PISSED" about it.

    And why is it her job to take care of his car insurance in the first place?  OP, did you wreck his car? 

    I've always had a choice as to u/s at the OB's office.  If I knew I'd get an u/s at a particular visit, I would let DH know, and he would choose to go or not, depending on his schedule.  If the OB popped the option of having an u/s on me, and DH wasn't there, I would definitely decline.  Not just my baby, but also his.  Takes two to tango.  And if the roles were reversed, I'd be a bit upset, too.  It's inconsiderate.

    The OP's attitude is shiiity in general.  She said she would take care of something, and then didn't do it.

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  • image aliciablair22:
    If my husband was LIVID with me about an ultrasound... I would assist him in seeking professional help. That is bull...

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  • image monkiem:

    Dude, my husband would be LIVID with me if I had an u/s without him present.  He'd be PISSED.

    And pregnancy doesn't excuse you from being a functional human being.  Maybe he feels that you're taking advantage of it.

     An ultrasound is done for medical purposes not for fun. It's very nice if both parents happen to be at the appointment when they perform one but both parents not being there is not a good reason to decline having one. I find it bizarre that your husband would be pissed about you having one done without him. Disappointed that he missed it - sure, but pissed?.... seems over the top.

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