Breastfeeding

i surrendered... breastmilk bottles:(

thank you for all of your support, but i gave up on trying to bf.  i tried to feed her again and she wouldnt latch on.... i tried it all. we started off on a bad foot from birth and  i gave up:(  i am very sad about it, but i also dont have the support around me (minus the bump)

so now i am going to pump and try giving it in a bottle.. any suggestions?  i dont know how this works with pumping since we arent on a schedule.  she is not even 6 weeks.  when do i pump?  i dont think ill last to be honest because i am home alone ALOT and i wont be able to find the time, but ill try my best..

today was just hard and icant hear more advice and more of "you are being stubborn.. you arent doing your job.. etc"

Re: i surrendered... breastmilk bottles:(

  • There is nothing wrong with EPing and giving bottles, but it sounds like that isn't what you really want to do.  If you have a supply, you can even do both - give bottles sometimes and breastfeed sometimes.  I would recommend contacting a lactation consultant again, and I would also recommend finding someone (a therapist, doctor, etc) to talk to about how overwhelmed you are feeling... I'm not sure if you are surrounded by nonsupportive people or if you may be dealing with baby blues beyond the normal. 

     If you have an oversupply, you shouldn't need to pump too often... I would aim to pump at least every 3-4 hours to start, though, or pump whenever baby eats.  When I had to EP early on (for our first 2 weeks, then transitioned back to breastfeeding), I would pump while I was feeding the bottle.  You could do this either by holding LO in one arm and bottle feeding with the other or using a laid-back high chair meant for infant feeding.  You just need a hands free pumping bra, which is easily made from an old sports bra (cut holes over the nipples).

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • im going to talk to my dr.  people tell me its normal but i dont think it is.. but then again i am home alone pretty much all day..plus parenting is hard when you think you are on the same page and then it changes a second later by one of you.  
  • Exclusively pumping can work if you follow the "rules" I EP and my LO is 6months and I've accepted it into our life.

    there is a really helpful Exclusive Pumping group on babycenter and ivillage

    in the beginning (with a normal supply) it's suggested to pump 8-12 times a day, every 2 hours basically.

    A handsfree bra is key (i like simple wishes) and just pump often to get your supply up before 12 weeks

  • It was really hard for me to accept that EPing was the way for us, but it really is possible!  When I am pumping and DD is awake, I put her in her bouncy seat, make sure I have a bottle, paci, etc. ready, and then sit on the floor next to her and pump.  I am able to read to her, talk to her, feed her or whatever while I am pumping.  A hands free pumping solution is an absolute must, IMO.

    I think you are incredibly brave and wise to bring it up with your doctor if you aren't feeling right!  Huge hugs to you... hang in there!  It will get easier.

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  • image bubble515:
    im going to talk to my dr.  people tell me its normal but i dont think it is.. but then again i am home alone pretty much all day..plus parenting is hard when you think you are on the same page and then it changes a second later by one of you.  

    It is normal to feel a bit of sadness but feeling hopeless is not normal.  And you are not home alone all day...you are home with your baby. It sounds like getting out would really help you. I would look into local moms groups and do your best to get out of the house once a day, even if it is only for a walk. The more you get out with baby, the easier it gets.  I was on maternity leave for 12 weeks and only didn't make it out of the house on a few particularly rough days after the first 2 weeks.

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers
    ♥ BFP #3 2/7/14 Celsete Mae born 10/2/14 at 37w2d ♥
    ♥ BFP #2 9/18/11 Nicole Evelyn born 5/17/12 at 38w3d ♥

    ♥ BFP #1 11/20/10 hb 12/14/10 natural m/c 12/25/10 at 8w3d ♥
     • Fateful appt. 2/11: Saline sono - polyp; thyroid nodule...it's cancer •  Hysteroscopy to remove polyp 3/17/11 •
    Total thyroidectomy (papillary carcinoma) 4/4/11
    RAI 5/9/11• Laparoscopic fibroid removal 11/2012
    ♦ Cancer free since May 2011 ♦

  • i have EPd for the past 8 months - DD was 10 weeks early so couldn't BF until she was almost 2 months old, we had to add extra calories so had to use bottles 6x per day, and once she got into that, she wasn't into BFing.  i struggled with it so much and tried to get her to BF, but in the end, it just was stressing both of us out so much that i decided it was best to just pump.  i work from home which made it easier but it was probably the hardest part about being a new mom.  no one prepares you for how complicated it is!  i'd always heard that everything gets easier around 3 months in - and this turned out to be true for me.  if you can hang in there for 3 months that's the worst of it.  after that the baby gets on more of a schedule, many of them sleeping through the night, and you get into a routine and start to feel like you kind of know what you're doing.  for those 3 months, you just have to do what you can to get through it.  don't let anyone make you feel bad - every situation is different and no one knows what your situation is like for you.  if you want to work on getting the baby to BF, find a LC, and do your best, but in some cases it just doesn't work out. 

    What worked for me:  it's important to pump 8 times a day to establish your supply.  it wasn't stressed to me how important this is so i fell behind.  don't go more than 3 hours in the beginning other than one overnight stretch of up to 4.5 hours.  if at all possible have someone stay overnight here and there to get the baby once in the night so that you can get that 4.5 stretch and really sleep.

    so you ask, how do i pump, and also feed bottles, and also get anything done ever?  you don't :)  you have to just let some things go.  do the bare minimum, don't worry if your house is a mess, in a few months things will get back to semi-normal.  just do your best.  my tips:

    - get a boppy pillow, a 2nd set of your pump supplies, and a hands-free pumping bra. 
    - prop the baby on the boppy so you can feed her while you pump. 
    - 2 or even 3 sets of pump pieces mean you can throw them in the dishwasher and always have an extra ready to go.  (if no dishwasher keep a bowl by your sink and dump everything in there, then wash them all once or twice a day instead of cleaning every 3 hours, and skip cleaning at nite)
    - if possible get a good pump that is easily portable and has battery or plug-in options.  i was able to plug mine in in the car so often pumped on the way when we went places, so that i didn't have to run home to pump and could pump just before going to dinner, visiting family, etc. so that i had a longer window to not worry about it.
    - make sure you are pumping effectively - massaging, using heat, rhe right pump setting, etc. helps with letdown and means you can pump for less time and still get the same amount (consult LC if needed)
    - get a good baby carrier like bjorn or ergo.  i didn't use mine until baby was like 4 5 months old and i wish i had used it sooner, i could have gotten a lot more done while still having that bonding time holding her. a good bouncy seat or swing is also essential, if you can find something you know will keep her happy or sleeping for 15-30 minutes, you can get a pump in and even take a shower once in a while!
    - after 2 months or so you can cut out 1 pump and your supply will stay sort of the same.  if you are ok with supplementing try cutting 1 pump every week - even going down to 6 a day made a huge difference for me!
    - don't be too hard on yourself - any BM you can give your baby will help her grow and be healthy - if you are miserable and need to stop that's okay, or if you want to just pump 4 times a day or twice a day that's fine too.
    - almost no one i know with a baby pumped or BF for more than 3 months.  it is really hard and if you are committed to doing it even for a short time you deserve a lot of credit!

     

    Preemie mom! Born 10 weeks early but Mommy and baby are both doing great!! BabyFruit Ticker
  • oh and i agree don't think of it as being home alone all day - be glad you are able to be home with your baby spending this time with her!  it goes by soooooo fast (everyone tells you that but you really can't believe when you look back and it's been 8 months!).  enjoy this time, as much as it is hard, it also is really special to have your baby snuggle on you all the time and get to know each other!
    Preemie mom! Born 10 weeks early but Mommy and baby are both doing great!! BabyFruit Ticker
  • I EP! I am two months in and actually pumping at work while I write this! :) Any advise I would add to the already helpful posts is to get a good quality pump. I had two average pumps before someone suggested to me that I needed to rent a hospital grade pump and boy am I glad I did. Pumping goes by much faster with that. Ask around where you can rent them, hospital sometimes rent them out or I know Babies R Us does.

    Also...invest in one container of formula for backup. It doesn't mean you are a bad mom but its such a good feeling to know that you have that around for the times you can't pump or need a break. I give my LO one feeding of formula a day to help with my stress level (do it preferably right before bedtime since formula takes longer to digest and that way LO will sleep longer...meaning you can sleep longer!)  You are doing great!

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