2nd Trimester

Just broke up with OB/GYN

I've been considering switching doctors since week 16 - and finally got the process started today at 22.5 weeks by faxing in a records transfer request. I sort of feel like one of those people who breaks up by text, or leaves your ex's possessions at the front desk to let them know it's over...

I hope they do the records transfer fast and let me move on...it's not them, it's me :)

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Re: Just broke up with OB/GYN

  • Ha! Well good for you for finally doing it. Even though I hated my ex-OB, I still found it awkward to "break up" with her. :-) I just told her assistants over the phone and they asked me why. I told them it wasn't them (I loved them), it was her (she had a horrible bedside manner), so I never had to talk to her, thank goodness.

    BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
    BFP2: 3/18/12, blighted ovum, natural m/c @ 7w4d
    BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence

  • I changed OBs around week 16 too, and it was quite awkward.  Especially when I had to actually go up there and get mean to get my records for the new OB's office because they had 4 days to fax them and didn't.  Changing was one of the best decisions I've ever made and so worth it though!
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  • I wouldn't sweat it.  For all they know you changed insurance or moved or something.  I could see where it would feel awkward though.  Good for you!
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    Cupcakesandquilts
  • lol that's cute.  I'm working on making a switch too, hopefully it all works out.  I hope you love your new place!!



    Natural M/c 12/13/08 at 8w5d 

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  • The practice isn't bad, I just want a more natural birth friendly hospital than the one they deliver at. BUT the practice I'm switching to is actually far closer to my house so I could easily chicken out and say that's my reason. I'm due in early March so I could still have winter weather to deal with when I go into labor...I think that's totally reasonable.

     If they press me hard enough I could just say "....um I'm 28 years old, low risk, it's my first child, and you tried to sell me on the benefits of an elective c-section - you had to know you were rolling the dice with that one!"

    I could think of some analogies to dating with that but none of them are quite appropriate :) thanks for the support ladies!

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    micaelasmakeupMamaNandez
  • image KmfMjf1024:

    The practice isn't bad, I just want a more natural birth friendly hospital than the one they deliver at.

    I would just tell them that.  You're overthinking this.  They are a business and you have every right to leave.  If they ask, tell them truth.  If they push that have changed or something, just say thanks but I've made my decision.  The end.


    ~ thirteen cycles ~ March 2014: Chemical Pregnancy ~
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  • image Joy2611:
    image KmfMjf1024:

    The practice isn't bad, I just want a more natural birth friendly hospital than the one they deliver at.

    I would just tell them that.  You're overthinking this.  They are a business and you have every right to leave.  If they ask, tell them truth.  If they push that have changed or something, just say thanks but I've made my decision.  The end.


    Yea I'm not worried, the worst they could do is ask me why I'm leaving, or drag their feet transferring records. I can handle both.

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  • Omg I thought I was alone with this, I've already dumped one and might be dumping my second, the first one was a distance thing, but the new one is gonna have me stressed. Since the time I found out I was pregnant Ive seen my actual ob/gyn twice, every visit Ive had has been with someone diff. Now this process makes since enough at the end so that I will be comfortable in case my dr isnt there to deliver by why at the begining Ive seen like 3 other drs and I have my next visit with numbet 4. Im 22wks and over this ob/gyn circus.
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  • That's awesome. Take control. If the OB wasn't right for you that's ok. Some would have stay, gritted their teeth through labor, and bared it.
  • Ladies, its time you find yourself a fabulous certified nurse midwife. I commend any mama to be to go with their gut and find the best fit! CHEERS!
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    indiana101MrsJeffers2006jazzra369
  • I was met with some drama trying to get records from my old OB's office, but it worked out ok. It was a little awkward when the nurses at the new OB's office kept asking why i switched. I just said I didn't like my last one :X
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  • It was the total opposite for me. I broke up with my OBGYN after the first appointment. I went in to get examined nad he didn't want to hear any of my concerns. and After he told me all results were normal , i still expressed i wasn't feeling well (down there) and he said oh that's normal. I made the decision then and there to find a new OBGYN, but before my appointment I ended up getting rushed into the emergency room. Turns out i was severly dehydrated (which can be dangerous in pregnancy) and I had gotten an infection (down there) from a reaction to a wax treatment and he didn't care. Right away my new obgyn stepped in, admitted me to the hospital and took care of the infection because untreated it could have gotten worse and during selievery cause soem type of problem for my child. I am glad I made the decision, and it only took a split second for my records to be transferred. I am so happy and content with the decision I made. Just love my new OBGYN and his office. It's like one big family there.
    ProudMommie13
    MaiTaiBeth
  • image KmfMjf1024:
    The practice isn't bad, I just want a more natural birth friendly hospital than the one they deliver at. BUT the practice I'm switching to is actually far closer to my house so I could easily chicken out and say that's my reason. I'm due in early March so I could still have winter weather to deal with when I go into labor...I think that's totally reasonable.
    nbsp;If they press me hard enough I could just say "....um I'm 28 years old, low risk, it's my first child,nbsp;and you tried to sell me on the benefits of an elective csection you had to know you were rolling the dice with that one!"
    I could think of some analogies to dating with that but none of them are quite appropriate : thanks for the support ladies!


    I actually WOULD tell them the real reason in this instance, only because it might make them think about their practices in the future. A lot of lessinformed women might be scared into a csection unnecessarily by that kind of talk. That being said I hate confrontation so I totally get why you might not want to speak up.
    imageimage
    BFP with #1 (twins!) 11/18/2011 - missed m/c at 8weeks3days; d&c 1/19/2012; myomectomy to remove 18cm+,10cm & 5cm fibroids 4/2012; TTC again 7/2012; BFP #2 (twins) 11/13/2012; missed m/c at 7weeks;
    BFP #3: baby girl born 3/5/2014

    Balaustine: an anthology about wanting family
  • Absolutely try a midwife if you're unhappy with the care you're receiving from a doctor, I had my daughter with a midwife out of hospital and I've never had better care. You always meet with the woman you're expecting and everything is so personal.
    Good luck!
  • Dumped mine at 15 weeks, but that was because they left me sitting in the office as they were locking up.  I had gotten there at 3:50 and my appt was at 4.  They checked me in, I sat there till 5:30 and when they locked up I asked if I was ever getting in.  They told me the Dr. had a meeting at 4 and had been gone since then.  They didn't even apologize...yeah that was our breakup point.  LOVED my OB after that!  Now that I have the baby I miss my OB office staff!
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  • I am so glad to know that I am not alone. I did the same thing, but at 19 weeks. My former OB/GYN had horrible bedside manner and the final straw was when she rolled her eyes at my Deaf husband when he asked her to look at him when she spoke to aid with lip reading.  We found a new OB who is wonderful and sensitive to our needs as a couple and as first-timers. I never thought I would like a male OB, but he's just awesome. He has a relationship with me and my husband and it's the little things like how he tells me exactly what he's doing "down there" during exams and helps me up off the table (I'm big enough now that sitting straight up is tough) that makes him the right choice for us.

    More power to you and remember that you are paying for a service and deserve the level of care that you want for you and your baby.

  • I switched and my old OB doesn't even know it I'm sure.  (they see several more patients than just me obviously and I doubt they're keeping "tabs" on everyone's pregnancy, but rather leaving scheduling prenatal appts in the responsibility of the patient)

    I simply requested my records from the front desk, and picked them up when they were ready.  Also I switched only because I wanted to go to one that is close to my work so I could go to appts on my lunch break instead of having to leave work early or come in late every time I had an appt.  (the old OB was close to my home/about 30 mins away) 

    Mommy to
    Tyler (10/29/08)
    and Lily (4/21/13)

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  • Wow! Ive been wanting to switch as well I'm glad I came across this post. My fear is that I'm too far along 25 wks I don't know where to go.....I just know I'm ready to "br"
  • Wow! Ive been wanting to switch as well so I'm glad I came across this post. My fear is that I'm too far along 25 wks I don't know where to go.....I just know I'm ready to "break up" w/ mine as well. How did you choose your new OB/GYN?
  • I thought I was alone! I have been seeing my OBGYN for 4 years, but switched after my first prenatal appointment. She has always been cold to me. At my appointment, she couldn't find the heartbeat with the heartbeat monitor and then did an exam and said, "your cervix seems small, are you sure you didn't just miss your period?" (I was 10 w 5 d) UGH So I was really stressed and began to cry (didn't expect to really get that kind of news at my first appointment) and when she saw that I was crying said, "Well, I don't know why your crying because it is what it is." I demanded an ultrasound that day, turned out our little girl was just fine, and the ultrasound tech said my uterus was right on track. I called my office the next day and requested to be switch to my sister in law's doctor and I adore her! Best decision I've made thus far in my pregnancy. 
    landonlyn
  • It's so hard to tolerate people's ignorance! My mother was born deaf and I have quite a few people in my family who are deaf. It amazes me how people refuse to speak up or speak clearly when you ask them to. Good for you for switching. You want it to be a good experience for the both of you.
  • I'm 19 weeks and have been meaning to break up with mine for the last few weeks. I have been seeing them for years, but when it comes to the baby part, it's not what I expected. They stink at getting back to me when they know I am dealing with a slight complication. Time to move on. 
  • Oh I just did the same thing! ?At 14 weeks I made the decision to change - I'm expecting twins & feared I'd have they early, etc and the hospital I was going to deliver at didn't have a NICU, so if there were issues they would send the babies to another hospital while I was still stuck recovering at the 1st hospital.. without the babies. ?This was completely not an option for me - so I had to switch.

    I was never in love with my OB/GYN, so it didn't break my heart to leave them to begin with, but when I called to tell them I was?transferring?(and I was honest about why...I needed a NICU!) they were pretty rude, so I'm VERY glad I made the switch. I think Moms have instincts like no one else in the world...and when you feel its right..its right.

    ?I've only had on appt with my new dr, but I can firmly say I know I made the right choice! ?They were so kind and welcoming & made me feel at home...very unlike my old office!

    ?Good luck to you & your new dr!?

  • Good Luck Momma... many of us for our many different reasons have been in the same boat as you. Your baby is more important than a doctors opinion of you. Besides they are technically your employee you are paying them,

    I left my  OB/Gyn for the same reasons as you. I wanted a natural unmedicated birth. The doc looked at me and said that "that's fine, you can have a natural birth just don't wear make-up it will make it natural" I about fell off the table. WHAT?!? who says that he was not kidding either. he wouldnt discuss the options with me just you will have a c-section or you wont. This was not my regular GYN it was a partner but wanted no chance he could be the one making the decisions when I am labor. I switched to a midwife and am so happy. 

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  • Last time I changed OB's at 14w and again around 32w. Gotta do whatcha gotta do.

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  • image amtaaca:
    That's awesome. Take control. If the OB wasn't right for you that's ok. Some would have stay, gritted their teeth through labor, and bared it.

    So true. 




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  • I'm in the process of doing the same thing! After two inductions and short hard labor requiring epidurals, I'm moving to midwives and a birthing center. We're trying for baby 3 and I'm so much more educated now.
  • I am 7 weeks and by ObGyn did not know I am preggo. A long time ago I decide he can be good for pap smears and mammograms and other "down there" check ups but he would not be the one who will help me gave birth. I decided that when I told him about my idea of having a natural birth and he just "joke" and said: you better be looking for another ObGyn for that. So... a couple of years later, I did. First appt is next Friday and I can't hardly wait!!! I do not know him personally yet, but he is a ObGyn who works with midwifes and doulas and does birth at home!! I am very excited! Good luck with your new ObGyn!
    landonlyn
  • I am 22weeks pregnant now.i am very very unsatisfied with my OB/GYN.i really want to switch my doc.what makes me feel bit uneasy is the fact that my OB/GYN works in same hospital where I am going to deliver my baby. But it's ok,I guess :) can you ask your new OB/GYN to ask for transfer of records or reports? Or we ourselves have to do that? Thanks.
  • image Shwetaab:
    I am 22weeks pregnant now.i am very very unsatisfied with my OB/GYN.i really want to switch my doc.what makes me feel bit uneasy is the fact that my OB/GYN works in same hospital where I am going to deliver my baby. But it's ok,I guess :) can you ask your new OB/GYN to ask for transfer of records or reports? Or we ourselves have to do that? Thanks.

    You call and request a transfer of records. Sometimes there's a fee.  

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