Two Under 2

Advice from mothers who have 2 under 2!

I just found out less than 2 weeks ago that I am pregnant with my second child and my DD is only 3 months old! I can't say it was completely unexpected because we weren't actually preventing pregnancy. We just figured "when we get pregnant, we get pregnant". And now here I am, PREGNANT! So, for those of you moms with 2 under 2 already, would you be so kind as to impart some of your wisdom/experience/advice in this subject with those of us who don't really know what we are in for? It would be much appreciated! :) TIA!

Re: Advice from mothers who have 2 under 2!

  • Mine are 13.5 months apart. With our first, we had a harder time getting pregnant ( see siggy). So we assumed it would be hard the second time as well. I stopped nursing early, set up an appointment with an RE for a few months down the road, and wouldn't you know... I had one period and got pregnant!

    For me, pregnancy the second time with a little one wasnt that bad at all, but I had a very easy pregnancy. It made pregnancy, and the first year of DS life go by so quickly because I was so busy being pregnant and taking care of a baby.

    So far, having two here hasn't been "bad". It is hard to get out and do a lot of things like errands. I generally have my mom or husband around so I can do grocery shopping or for Dr's appointments.. otherwise, as a SAHM we are generally home... and being home isn't difficult. Ofcourse they have their moments of both wanting or needing something.. but its few and far between, so far. 

    good luck and congratulations!

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker *First RE visit 5/10 *B/W & SA Normal! 6/10 *Laprascopy - Removed septum and cyst 7/10 *50 mg Clomid 8/21 +Trigger 9/1 = BFN *50 mg Clomid 9/17 = No response *100 mg Clomid 9/29 + Trigger 10/8= BFP!! *Beta 1= 297 *Beta 2= 612! *It's a Boy! EDD July 4th 2011 *Surprise!! Natural BFP! Beta 1=306, Beta 2= 1100! EDD Aug 18th 2012! IT's a BOY!
  • image morgs8384:

    Mine are 13.5 months apart. With our first, we had a harder time getting pregnant ( see siggy). So we assumed it would be hard the second time as well. I stopped nursing early, set up an appointment with an RE for a few months down the road, and wouldn't you know... I had one period and got pregnant!

    Similar story for me, except mine are 15.5 months apart and I never got a period, just got pg!  

    Anyway, I found that getting into a routine really helped me deal with 2 little ones.  Luckily DD was a pretty easy baby, and she would nap on the go - so we would try to feed her, then leave the house and do something.  Playground, music class, Little Gym, Target or Grocery store trips, really anything to get us out of the house.  Even if it was just for an hour or so, it saved my sanity to go out!  I would try to get home before her next feeding (usually on a 3 hour schedule).  

    When DD got a little older and had more scheduled naps, I worked REALLY hard to get them on the same napping schedule.  That gave me so much more time to do things around the house.  

    Personally, I found going from 0 children to 1 child the hardest.  Going from 1-2 wasn't that bad for me.  I just highly recommend trying to get everyone on a schedule/routine.  To this day, my kids wake up in the morning and ask "what we are doing today, Mommy?" - they know we always do something!  That is how I survive Wink 

    TTC#1 = Success on Cycle#19 with Clomid/trigger/b2b IUIs; beta#1 (15dpiui) 200, #2 (18dpiui) 433, #3 (22dpiui) 2356; TTC#2 = Surprise BFP 9/2009; TTC#3 = m/c at 6 wks, 10/29/11; BFP#2 4/1/2012... Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • 17 months apart here.

    Honestly?  It was the hardest year of my life.  Seriously.  Put a huge strain on my marriage.  Sleep deprivation makes everything more challenging and toddlers are plenty challenging under the best of circumstances.  Very little time for yourself and even less for your marriage so my #1 piece of advice is to attempt a game plan to carve out some "me" time and some "couple" time utilizing sitters if you can.  Even a once a month date night with a rule that you can NOT discuss the children will go a loooong way in helping to fortify your relationship as you navigate these rough waters.  

    Sit down with DH and strategize how you are going to come at this challenge.  Without candid conversations about division of duty there can be a lot of resentment.  Chances are that even with clear communication about who's gonna do what there will still be days when both of you will feel like you're doing everything.

    Advice:  "This too shall pass".  This was my mantra.  It won't last forever.  The difficulty of having 2 so dependent upon you at the same time is FAR outweighed by how amazingly cool and easy it is as they get older.   Video as much as you can.  I find that I don't remember much of this time in our lives (see sleep deprivation note above) and I love being able to look back to remember.  The kids ADORE seeing themselves together at super young ages too.  Get in the picture.  It doesn't matter if you look like crap and you haven't lost the baby weight.  They want to see their family and they love you regardless of how you think you look.

    Other advice:  "No, you are not permanently damaging either of your children by loving or tending to the other while they cry/wait/pout, etc"   It's not a bad thing to learn early that you are not the center of the universe but that doesn't mean that you are not important.  They will not remember this time in their lives.  They will not remember a time when their sibling didn't exist.  Survive the best you can, love them the best you can and have faith that it will be enough even when it feels like it's not.

    Even more advice:  Everything will feel crazy at first but before you know it you'll have a routine in place and things that once seemed impossible (how the hell do you get them both in and out of the car without someone running into the street and getting killed?) will be a snap.  And... as soon as you get it all figured out it will all change and you'll be back to having to figure it all out again.

    BEST advice:  Come here with questions, especially about logistics.  No need to reinvent the wheel.  These women are a wonderful support and have lots of insight mostly born of trial and error. 

    Congrats on your pregnancy and welcome to the journey!!  It's the craziest but most amazing and rewarding thing you can imagine.

     

    Our IF journey: 1 m/c, 1 IVF with only 3 eggs retrieved yielding Dylan and a lost twin, 1 shocker unmedicated BFP resulting in Jace, 3 more unmedicated pregnancies ending in more losses.
    Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
  • Thank you ladies! I appreciate all the responses! Thanks for giving me a little preview on what to expect and for the helpful advice as well!
  • Just shy of 15m apart here! My best advice: know that you can't please everyone all the time, and that's ok. Realize that, and you're golden!
    image
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  • image howleyshell:

    17 months apart here.

    Honestly?  It was the hardest year of my life.  Seriously.  Put a huge strain on my marriage.  Sleep deprivation makes everything more challenging and toddlers are plenty challenging under the best of circumstances.  Very little time for yourself and even less for your marriage so my #1 piece of advice is to attempt a game plan to carve out some "me" time and some "couple" time utilizing sitters if you can.  Even a once a month date night with a rule that you can NOT discuss the children will go a loooong way in helping to fortify your relationship as you navigate these rough waters.  

    Sit down with DH and strategize how you are going to come at this challenge.  Without candid conversations about division of duty there can be a lot of resentment.  Chances are that even with clear communication about who's gonna do what there will still be days when both of you will feel like you're doing everything.

    Advice:  "This too shall pass".  This was my mantra.  It won't last forever.  The difficulty of having 2 so dependent upon you at the same time is FAR outweighed by how amazingly cool and easy it is as they get older.   Video as much as you can.  I find that I don't remember much of this time in our lives (see sleep deprivation note above) and I love being able to look back to remember.  The kids ADORE seeing themselves together at super young ages too.  Get in the picture.  It doesn't matter if you look like crap and you haven't lost the baby weight.  They want to see their family and they love you regardless of how you think you look.

    Other advice:  "No, you are not permanently damaging either of your children by loving or tending to the other while they cry/wait/pout, etc"   It's not a bad thing to learn early that you are not the center of the universe but that doesn't mean that you are not important.  They will not remember this time in their lives.  They will not remember a time when their sibling didn't exist.  Survive the best you can, love them the best you can and have faith that it will be enough even when it feels like it's not.

    Even more advice:  Everything will feel crazy at first but before you know it you'll have a routine in place and things that once seemed impossible (how the hell do you get them both in and out of the car without someone running into the street and getting killed?) will be a snap.  And... as soon as you get it all figured out it will all change and you'll be back to having to figure it all out again.

    BEST advice:  Come here with questions, especially about logistics.  No need to reinvent the wheel.  These women are a wonderful support and have lots of insight mostly born of trial and error. 

    Congrats on your pregnancy and welcome to the journey!!  It's the craziest but most amazing and rewarding thing you can imagine.

     

    wow exactly this for me. Take lots of pictures and videos because the last 1.5 years is one big blur and fog. I was in "survival" mode for most of it but now it's so much fun.  

    On the Mini pill, ebfing, and no AF ever.....16 months apart!

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    image]
  • image etude de la vie:
    image howleyshell:

    17 months apart here.

    Honestly?  It was the hardest year of my life.  Seriously.  Put a huge strain on my marriage.  Sleep deprivation makes everything more challenging and toddlers are plenty challenging under the best of circumstances.  Very little time for yourself and even less for your marriage so my #1 piece of advice is to attempt a game plan to carve out some "me" time and some "couple" time utilizing sitters if you can.  Even a once a month date night with a rule that you can NOT discuss the children will go a loooong way in helping to fortify your relationship as you navigate these rough waters.  

    Sit down with DH and strategize how you are going to come at this challenge.  Without candid conversations about division of duty there can be a lot of resentment.  Chances are that even with clear communication about who's gonna do what there will still be days when both of you will feel like you're doing everything.

    Advice:  "This too shall pass".  This was my mantra.  It won't last forever.  The difficulty of having 2 so dependent upon you at the same time is FAR outweighed by how amazingly cool and easy it is as they get older.   Video as much as you can.  I find that I don't remember much of this time in our lives (see sleep deprivation note above) and I love being able to look back to remember.  The kids ADORE seeing themselves together at super young ages too.  Get in the picture.  It doesn't matter if you look like crap and you haven't lost the baby weight.  They want to see their family and they love you regardless of how you think you look.

    Other advice:  "No, you are not permanently damaging either of your children by loving or tending to the other while they cry/wait/pout, etc"   It's not a bad thing to learn early that you are not the center of the universe but that doesn't mean that you are not important.  They will not remember this time in their lives.  They will not remember a time when their sibling didn't exist.  Survive the best you can, love them the best you can and have faith that it will be enough even when it feels like it's not.

    Even more advice:  Everything will feel crazy at first but before you know it you'll have a routine in place and things that once seemed impossible (how the hell do you get them both in and out of the car without someone running into the street and getting killed?) will be a snap.  And... as soon as you get it all figured out it will all change and you'll be back to having to figure it all out again.

    BEST advice:  Come here with questions, especially about logistics.  No need to reinvent the wheel.  These women are a wonderful support and have lots of insight mostly born of trial and error. 

    Congrats on your pregnancy and welcome to the journey!!  It's the craziest but most amazing and rewarding thing you can imagine.

     

    wow exactly this for me. Take lots of pictures and videos because the last 1.5 years is one big blur and fog. I was in "survival" mode for most of it but now it's so much fun.  

    you ladies have me a little worried about the whole "first year will be a blur thing"! lol I will definitely take your advice with the pics and videos! 

  • image sleepingbeauty825:
    Just shy of 15m apart here! My best advice: know that you can't please everyone all the time, and that's ok. Realize that, and you're golden!

    sounds simple enough! I'll try to remember that! 

  • My boys are 16mos apart and in all honesty it has been fairly easy. Going from no kids to 1 was way harder for me! DS1 is a great sleeper and is happy playing independently while i tend to DS2, so that helps me alot. I do SAH, and when DH gets home he is super handson, so thats a blessing as well. You just take one day at a time and in time you will figure out what works and what doesnt and your routine will just fall in to place.
    image

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    My two boys are 16 months apart, and I'm loving every minute!
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