Parenting after a Loss

Update on us...Ashton and I that is...

Sorry I have been MIA, but I've been really busy and spending hours/days at the NICU with Ashton. Ashton is now over 6lbs 4oz and is setting weight gain records in the NICU. He gained 75g yesterday alone. He's taking at least part of 6 feedngs a day orally. I have spent the last two nights at the hospital so I can try to bf at almost every feeding. He does at least 10 mins at most sessions and his record was 30mins last night at 9.

They asked me to bring his carseat in on Thurs so they can do his carseat test by the end of the week. Hopefully by then he'll be taking all his feeds orally and will be able to come home before the weekend is out.

I can not wait to have both of my boys home with me...this has been the hardest month of my life, being apart from at least one of my kids all the time.. SUCKS. As for me, physically, I am feeling much better. Emotionally, I still struggle with guilt of not seeing as much of Carter as I feel I should and it kills me everytime I leave Ashton at the NICU. I know I am only one person and I am doing the best thing I can for my kids, but it is so hard. Being a NICU mom is pretty much the hardest thing I have ever had to do and I will be so happy when we leave for the last time.

On a brighter note, I am now under my pre-pg weight, which is very nice, thank you bfing!

I hope all you ladies are doing well and that your little ones are thriving.  I hope to get online more in the coming days to catch up with all of you.

 

BFP#1 03/01/09 Carter arrived at 9lbs even on 11/11/09

BFP#2 08/24/11 missed m/c 10/09/11 D&C 10/12/11 @ 11w

BFP#3 03/17/12 Ashton arrived at 5 lbs 10 oz 8 weeks early on 10/10/12

My Boys, 2012

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Re: Update on us...Ashton and I that is...

  • Thank you so much for the update as I had been wondering about you and little Ashton. Soon, you will have your little guy home!
    DS born 2009
    BFP#2 ~ 8/2/11, EDD 4/11/12, D&C 9/12/11 at 9w5d
    BFP#3 ~ 4/15/12, EDD 12/21/12 ~ DD born 12/22/12
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  • <3 thanks for XPing on PgAL, I've been wondering how you guys have been.  I am so thrilled that your little guy will hopefully be going home soon, and you can start to move on!! I really hope things only go up from here for you guys.
    Cycle 7: BFP 1-17-12, Missed Miscarriage at 8w6d (measured 7w2d, no HB), D&C 2-29-12
    Cycle 9: BFP 5-3-12:EDD 1-24-13 It's a girl! Born 12-27-12 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • YAY! I was about to page you just today. Glad to see you are doing well. I'm sorry to hear you are dealing with guilt, but know you are doing the best you can. Hopefully Ashton will be home before you know it and your little family will be together again!


  • Thank you for linking us in on PgAL. I can't even imagine how hard it must be to be away from at least one child all the time. I hope he gets to come home very soon!!
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    EDD 1/31/13, MC May 17. EDD 3/31/13, MC July 26. I miss you so much already my angel loves

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  • image benoitfan:

    I can not wait to have both of my boys home with me...this has been the hardest month of my life, being apart from at least one of my kids all the time.. SUCKS. As for me, physically, I am feeling much better. Emotionally, I still struggle with guilt of not seeing as much of Carter as I feel I should and it kills me everytime I leave Ashton at the NICU. I know I am only one person and I am doing the best thing I can for my kids, but it is so hard. Being a NICU mom is pretty much the hardest thing I have ever had to do and I will be so happy when we leave for the last time.

    It is so good to hear that things are going well! Ashton sounds like a champ!

    And yes, you ARE only one person and you ARE doing the best you can. Staying overnight to bf is awesome! ((HUGS)) The NICU stay will be over before you know it, and you will have your hands happily full at home.

    image benoitfan:

    On a brighter note, I am now under my pre-pg weight, which is very nice, thank you bfing!

    And I am way jealous!  Wink

    BFP#1 12/18/10 EDD 8/28/11 | 2/14/11 discovered that our baby girl had anencephaly D&C 2/17/11 at 12.5 weeks | no O or AF post loss - Dx: AO + mild PCOS = secondary infertility Provera after 70 days = AF but no O | Provera + 50mg Clomid after 110 days = AF but no O 3 rounds of 100mg Clomid + Estrogen + Progesterone = mixed O results, all BFN hysteroscopy 1/6/12 - removed fibroid tissue injection cycle #1 - 75 IU follistim + ovidrel (triggered 2/9/12) + endometrin = BFP! EDD 11/3/12 | Beta @ 13dpo = 184, 17dpo = 993, 26dpo = >5000 IT'S TWIN BOYS!! Tommy and Charlie arrived on 9/10/12 after less than 6 hours of labor at 32 weeks Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • *hugs* love.  I'm happy Ashton is doing so well!  You are doing awesome lady, with BOTH your kids.  I hope you get to enjoy your two boys at home this weekend.  More hugs for the road!
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    Mama to 5 angel babies, 1 rainbow baby, and 2 more angel babies. 
    My beautiful Ella/ToT arrived 10/10/12. 
  • Big hugs to you, on managing being a NICU mom. It sounds like you're doing a great job, even if you feel torn. I'm glad things are going well and so glad it's looking like he will be able to come home soon!
    BFP #1, 12/22/09 - DD#1 born 9/2010
    BFP #2, 12/12/11, m/c 12/25/11
    BFP #3, 3/09/12, CP 3/10/12
    BFP #4, 7/22/12, DD#2 born 4/2013
     

  • Glad to hear all is progressing well with baby Ashton!  I know it's tough juggling between being at the NICU and being home with Connor, but you are doing your absolute best, and you deserve a ton of credit!  Try not to be so hard on yourself.. Hoping that Ashton will be able to come home with you this weekend!! FX!! 
    Loss #1: 18w5d.. D&E 04Mar03 BFP #2: Jun2011.. missed miscarriage. D&C 08Jul2011 8w4d. BFP #3: Nov2011.. Our Rainbow Baby!!! DS Born: 15Jul2012! BFP #4: Nov2012.. 2U1 - DS2 born 12Jul2013.  BFP #5: 01Jan2014..3U3!!

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  • I am so glad he will be home with you soon and you and Carter can love up on him all that you want. 

    You are doing an amazing job with both boys and they both love you for it.  I can not imagine how hard that must be but I can tell that you are doing a wonderful job with both of your boys!

    I hope to see your update with his homecomming picture soon!

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  • Glad to hear things are going well. Hopefully you'll be home with both of your babes in no time at all!
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  • I'm glad you are doing well and that baby Ashton might get to come home soon, it definitely does not sound like an easy road to travel!
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