3rd Trimester

Baby Shower question

Ladies I just found out yesterday that someone created baby registry at one of the stores for my baby without my knowledge. How would you react? I got a little upset and happy at the same time that somebody would do that for me. Personally I would like to know about it and choose the items on the list myself. What do you think?

 

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Re: Baby Shower question

  • Are they also throwing you a shower? If so, then while I get that would be annoying, I assume they had the best intentions and  were trying to help/ do something sweet for you - and you can always just bring it all back and pick out your own stuff with the store credit. I got a lot of doubles/ things I would never use for my baby shower, and my post shower shopping spree with my store credit was actually 100x more fun then making a registry. 
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  • I'm going to go with odd also. Is this your first baby? Do you not have a registry anywhere else?
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  • I would be annoyed. Do you know who it was?

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  • Hmmm, I've never heard of someone else making a registry for you. Even if it's a surprise shower I would think people would just have a green light to get whatever they want for you, not for someone else to make you a registry. But like PP's said, hopefully their intentions were actually helpful.

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  • My first gut reaction is that is strange.  I would not want someone to decide some of the things for my baby (others would be fine ex. car seat vs. cute outfits).  As PPs said, hopefully there is a great reason behind it, but I've never heard of anyone doing this before.
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  • Weird, and I be kind of annoyed, only because I could see my MIL doing something like this because she doesn't think I can pick out the "right" things. But, that's probably not the case in your situation. They were most likely trying to be helpful. Are you not registered anywhere else? How did ou find out about it, anyway?

  • It is my first baby and I'm not registered anywhere else. I'm sure they had good intensions but I don't even know who did it. I don't want to sound ungrateful but it's very strange. I would like to be a part of it and choose what I want. I don't like people making decisions like that for me. Not sure what to think about it. I don't think I will have a baby shower. Is usually a baby shower a suprise??? I'm not from this country so I'm not familiar with the traditions.
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  • I received a gift in a box the other day. I spoke to the friend that sent it to me and I was really excited to receive it because I wanted to get it. She said "how else I would know about it. From your baby's registry". When I responded that I didn't registered she wasn't sure what to say lol
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  • image wleszc:
    I received a gift in a box the othernbsp;day. I spoke to the friend that sent it to me and I was really excited to receive it because I wanted to get it. She said "how else I would know about it. From your baby's registry". When I responded that I didn't registered she wasn't sure what to say lol


    I mean, I guess you could ask around? Do you have family or something in this country that could've done it for you? Or anyone close to you that might know?

    Showers can be surprises, but they don't have to be. I wouldn't worry too much about it being done without you knowing. If you're unfamiliar with customs and stuff like showers here, they were probably just trying to be helpful. As PPs said, you can always just exchange the stuff you don't want.

  • That's strange IMO. I'm sure they thought they were being helpful, but still weird. I would ask about it.
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  • Thank you ladies for your answers :) I have to wait and see what will happen with that situation. Like you said I will just return items that I wouldn't like. Thank you all
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  • Have you told anyone items you were looking at getting?

    Maybe they wanted everything to be a surprise and just picked stuff that you wanted?

    I would be annoyed if someone did that. This girl I work with told me if I didn't register she was going to do it for me....weird. 

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  • Maybe...just MAAAYYYBE the person who made it really did have good intentions. Hear me out: Yeah, it is strange to make a registry for someone without even consulting them or giving them the option to make one for themselves, but MAYBE this person wants the completion coupon to buy the rest of the stuff on it for you? Idk. I know it's a stretch, but I don't see the "harm" in what this person did.
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  • On a side note, you may want to register at a couple of stores, anyway, for the completion coupon, in case there's anything else you want to got. I like Amazon's the best because you don't have I buy all of your stuff at once. Babies R Us's is a higher discount, but you have to get everything at once when you use it.

  • Do you have a really common name? Could it actually be someone elses registry? Have you looked into it?
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  • image mrsodonnell12:
    Do you have a really common name? Could it actually be someone elses registry? Have you looked into it?


    This is something else I was wondering.

  • image mrsodonnell12:
    Do you have a really common name? Could it actually be someone elses registry? Have you looked into it?

    I have an uber common name, and I can find someone with my name, my due date, but not my area. If all three of those markers in place, I find it highly unlikely it's another person's registry.

    OP, that would irritate me as well, but I'm inclined to say you are getting a surprise shower, and if the stuff on the registry is stuff you would probably pick out, odds are, your DH is in on it.

    I would register somewhere so you can get the completion coupons, and as a FTM, on the chance people would like to send you gifts. I had a few showers as a FTM, but I also had family that sent gifts after the baby was born and at the baptism, so registries can be helpful even if you don't have a shower. I've had three out of state cousins that I sent gifts to when they had their babies, and I checked their registries first. 

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  • Not cool.  I would call the store and have them remove it and make your own.
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  • I have never heard of that!  Who would do that? 
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  • Family members did this for a cousin of mine a few months back. She just about as far along too. She didn't have a registry yet, it was something they had put off and family wanted to surprise her.

    So viola! they created the registry and had a surprise shower.

    I thought it was a little weird, because *I* would want to pick out my own stuff. But she was totally thrilled and loved everything they picked!

    I'd say it's good intentions.

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  • It depends. A lot of background info is missing. How did you find out? If the person a close relative or close friend? Did they give you a reason as to why they did it? If you are a FTM and your mom or sister (with kids) created it for you as a surprise and then said, "Surprise! I started a registry of must-haves for you. Here is the info, you can go add more items if you want", then that sounds cool. But it just depends.
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  • I have never heard of such a thing.  Regardless of what the persons intention is, it is totally selfish and bizarre to do such a thing.  This is a very special time between you and your husband.  I would delete the registry immediately and would express to them how totally confused I am by their actions.  I'm sorry that you have to deal with someone so outlandish.  No one in their right mind would do such a thing.
  • It is unusual, but people do and say unusual things for/to expectant mothers, I'm finding! Could be someone thought that you needed a lot of help preparing, and was so intent on being helpful, it didn't occur to them that they might be going too far?
    Maybe go ahead and edit the registry, vs close it?

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  • I think you have every right. To be upset. It is your baby and that is part of the exciting experience!
  • I think its weird I would probobly b upset 2. But all u gotta do is go 2 the place ur registered delete everything u don't want add things u do. Or just delete the entire registry...
  • Well, I look at it this way: People want to get your gifts, especially for your first baby. If you haven't taken the time to create a registry already, then I can understand someone close to you/wanting to throw you a shower/wanting to make sure you have what you need doing something like this to help others be able to not duplicate EVERYTHING. I mean, I know it's easy to return something, but I *can* see the mindset. 

    I wouldn't be upset, but I'd be weirded out. Go make your own registry and then direct people who as you for the information to it.

    Also, I think it was created by the person who sent you something the other day.  

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  • image mrs28:
    I think its weird I would probobly b upset 2. But all u gotta do is go 2 the place ur registered delete everything u don't want add things u do. Or just delete the entire registry...

    Yeah, you aren't texting here. Grammar! Spelling!

     

    Also, OP, why didn't you have a registry created yet? At 32 weeks, I'm really surprised about that.  

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  • You have right to do whatever you want as it is about your baby; if you want to delete it then delete the entire registry!!
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