April 2013 Moms

WTF? Grandma Shower

So my mom texted me this morning to let me know that he friends will be throwing her a "Grandma Shower" in March and they will be giving her gifts for my baby to keep at her house for when she watches him or her.

What.the.fuckk?? 

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Re: WTF? Grandma Shower

  • I have heard of these before and, honestly, I was 100% shocked that my MIL *didn't* have one when I was pregnant the first time.  She has 9 kids and had been dying for grandkids forever and all of her friends knew how big of a deal it was for her, so I was just waiting on something like this to come up.  I do think it's a bit strange, but hey.. old ladies get excited about babies too.  I say let them do it and be happy for her!  It's probably going to be super exciting and fun for her and if she gets some sippy cups and a PnP, that's just less crap you'll have to haul over to her house whenever you bring over LO.

    still weird, tho. ;) 

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  • I like the idea. When my first niece was born my mom purchased a crap load of stuff for my sister in law. My SIL then said all this stuff from the shower goes to my house and you can get stuff for you house. Okay, fine, but then my niece spent four-five days a week at my mom's house and she had to go out and buy everything from diapers, to lotions, pack and play, high chair... It worked out for her since she now provides childcare for both of my nieces, but I felt so bad for my mother because she was not expecting those expenses. If we had to do it over again my family would have threw her a shower so she would have been prepared. I would also have still expected for the family and my mother to give gifts to my SIL, because regardless at the end of the day she is having the baby.

    But, if your child won't be spending a lot of time at grandma's I can see how it wouldn't make sense for you.

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  • image babyonthebrain2010:

    I have heard of these before and, honestly, I was 100% shocked that my MIL *didn't* have one when I was pregnant the first time.  She has 9 kids and had been dying for grandkids forever and all of her friends knew how big of a deal it was for her, so I was just waiting on something like this to come up.  I do think it's a bit strange, but hey.. old ladies get excited about babies too.  I say let them do it and be happy for her!  It's probably going to be super exciting and fun for her and if she gets some sippy cups and a PnP, that's just less crap you'll have to haul over to her house whenever you bring over LO.

    still weird, tho. ;) 

    I can't bold on my iPad, but I agree with the last few sentences. The less crap you haul, the better. Both my parents and in-laws have PnP, beds, toys, cups, diapers, wipes, pull-ups, plates and cutlery, bath time stuff, etc... All for when their grand kids visit. My MIL even kept baby food and formula at her house when J was little, and has bottles as well. It makes a huge difference! But I do think it would be strange for her to register...

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  • My mom's co-workers (she's a teacher) threw her a surprise Grandma shower. She had no idea it was coming.  It was just at lunchtime where the teachers eat on a school day.  It was really sweet.  She has a lot of close friends at her school and my dad was divorcing her at the time so I think they wanted to do something special.  It was less about the gifts and more about the thought. She received books, a few clothes, and baby plates and cups, and they all went together to get her a PNP for the baby to sleep in at her house.  

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  • i have never heard of this. while i think its a bit strange, i do also think it is convenient for grandparents to be stocked up at their home if you are planning to have the baby stay with them a lot. 

     

    that being said, we have recently received some 2nd hand baby gear (high chair, exersaucer, etc).  we plan to have those items at mom's or MILs house, and keep the new items at our house. i do agree that the less we have to haul across town, the better! 

     

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  • I haven't ever heard of that- it seems a little strange. My thinking is- these women already had their "time" and their babies, leave the spotlight to you. But then I think- hey, less sh#t to tote to gram's!
  • What?! LOL For the love...

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  • I've never heard of this, but if her friends want to do it, I think it's cute.
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  • I call shenanigans.

    A Grandma Shower is a total AW move on the part of the grandma.  Unless it's a total and actual surprise, I call shenanigans.

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  • image mypalbabs:

    I call shenanigans.

    A Grandma Shower is a total AW move on the part of the grandma.  Unless it's a total and actual surprise, I call shenanigans.

    LOL! Perfect word for it.

  • I have never heard of such a thing.  But it sounds like it will make some things easier for you too!
    06APR2013

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  • image mypalbabs:

    I call shenanigans.

    A Grandma Shower is a total AW move on the part of the grandma.  Unless it's a total and actual surprise, I call shenanigans.

    This is my sentiment as well. This whole movement of grandmas becoming the center of a pregnancy is just weird to me. You had kids, chill out. 

    To me, its as if grandma retired after working for 40 something years, then her kids ALSO had a party to celebrate their Mom not working anymore, but it was all for themselves. Its weird.

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  • image lovelyday39:
    I haven't ever heard of that- it seems a little strange. My thinking is- these women already had their "time" and their babies, leave the spotlight to you. But then I think- hey, less sh#t to tote to gram's!

    This. 

    I side eyed my MIL when I was pregnant with DS and she bought a stroller, sippy cups, cloth diapers, clothes etc... all for her house, but I guess it was nice that she had that stuff and I didn't have to pack everything he needed and bring it there.  But she also did our daycare for the first year or two so he was there a lot.

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  • HA! WHAT?!?!?!

    Talk about stealing thunder. 

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  • wow, I have never heard of this but I am super excited.  I told MIL a few weeks ago that I do not want a baby shower and she broke down crying!  I felt kind of bad, however she has some manipulative tendencies, so I think this fits in that category.

    I need to start thinking about ways to slip this little nugget into conversation so that she can have the shower she wants and I don't have to be a part of it!  win-win!

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  • image mirroredimage:

    It's not just less stuff that you have to carry around, it's also less stuff that you have to buy.

    She's going to be keeping all of the stuff for her house. I'll still have to buy my own stuff.
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  • image +RBL+:
    I have never heard of such a thing.  But it sounds like it will make some things easier for you too!

    Unless the gift givers are people who would normally have been invited to the actual mother's shower.  If a grandma shower divides the guest list and it results in the mother receiving fewer gifts, that's shittastic.  Because at the heart of it, showers are about gifts.  

    And don't give me puppies and rainbows "showers are about celebrating New LYFE"... showers are about gifts.

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  • I have never heard of such a thing! But hey, if her friends are willing to do this, then why not!  It will make life easier for you in the long run.  My SIL had to get doubles of a lot of things to keep at my mom's house since they spend weekends there regularly.  They didn't have the ability to travel with the stuff back and forth.  Now, those items are at my mom's already and being saved for our use!
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  • I've never heard of a grandma shower either, but if you don't have to put any effort toward it, let the grandma gifts roll in!  Like most everyone else said, less sh!t you have to haul to her house, right?   

  • Also, I should mention that my mom let me take whatever I wanted for my house. I didn't need much at that point since it was after my shower, but I remember taking baby socks haha.  

    Edit: Quote fail. I meant to quote bdcram saying she would have to buy her own stuff anyway.  

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  • image bdcram:
    image mirroredimage:

    It's not just less stuff that you have to carry around, it's also less stuff that you have to buy.

    She's going to be keeping all of the stuff for her house. I'll still have to buy my own stuff.

    But you won't have to haul stuff back and forth.  If she lives close this may not be a concern at all, but if she doesn't it will make life easier.  And if you visit your mom often and LO will too, she should have some items at her house.   I think it is normal for Grandparents who are active in LO's life to have supplies at their home. 

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  • Ok, I get her wanting to have stuff at her house so that you aren't packing as much between trips, but COME ON! If it were me, I would feel like she was taking away from my special time. I'M THE MOM!!!! I would be very annoyed, but at least you might have an easier time visiting her now. 
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  • Another thing I will add - I think her friends should be throwing this shower for YOU, not her. I'm honestly getting more and more pissed the more I think about this. BLOWN. AWAY. Definitely an AW move, if I ever saw it!
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  • image Casie13:
    Another thing I will add - I think her friends should be throwing this shower for YOU, not her. I'm honestly getting more and more pissed the more I think about this. BLOWN. AWAY. Definitely an AW move, if I ever saw it!

    This is another good point. My mom's friends came to my shower and all went together to buy big ticket items.  (Not the same friends/coworkers that threw her the shower.)

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  • I have never heard of this but I don't think it's a bad idea. If they're her friends and they want to throw her a lunch or something, I think its sweet. If its a full on shower, how I felt about "stealing thunder" would depend on how close I am to these friends.

    In my situation, my mom would be babysitting a lot if she lived here so it would help me if I didn't have to bring a bunch of crap every time. Also, not to be mean about my mom's friends, but I'd rather her have her own party with them. I don't know them very well and two of them are downright obnoxious to my mom so I don't like to be around them.

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  • image mirroredimage:
    image bdcram:
    image mirroredimage:
    It's not just less stuff that you have to carry around, it's also less stuff that you have to buy.
    She's going to be keeping all of the stuff for her house. I'll still have to buy my own stuff.
    Right, but you won't have to buy things that stay there or pack 4 bags for a 1 night sleepover.

    My mom is an in-home DCP and it's really convenient to know that I don't have to pack spoons, bowls, burp cloths, PNP, portable high chair, etc. because she has it already.  My mom even keeps a bottle, a nipple, inserts for the bottle, formula, food, lotion, and soap there so we aren't always trekking things out there to them  DS spends time every month with just my parents (IL are all out of state) so we would have bought an extra set of all those things to keep at their house to make it easier.  

    Truth. I do think that it will make it easier as far as not bringing things to her house all the time.
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  • I think its ridiculous. I hope I never get invited to a "grandma shower." It is just silly. 
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  • image mirroredimage:

    image Casie13:
    Another thing I will add - I think her friends should be throwing this shower for YOU, not her. I'm honestly getting more and more pissed the more I think about this. BLOWN. AWAY. Definitely an AW move, if I ever saw it!

    Unless Grandma Cram was demanding the shower I don't think it's AWish at all.  We have no control over what our friends do for us and neither do our parents.

    Ok, I agree with that EXCEPT, if I was Granny Cram I would suggest having the shower for my daughter instead of myself. I think it would be wonderful if they all went in on some big ticket items for her. Cram needs the items more than her mom does and most Grandma's have the money to just go buy their own stuff. If that's not the case, then maybe I am wrong... 

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  • Okay, I find this a litte weird because I've never heard of something like this. however, I do think its kind of cute her friends want to do this for her. I'm assuming its her first grandchild? Maybe they're just really excited for her?

    My mom had to buy a bunch of stuff to have at her house for DD (she wouldn't it let me buy it since I already had to buy a million things for our house) so it would be nice for her to get some as gifts. As long as you're getting a nice shower as well - who cares? They're just celebrating your baby. Again, a little weird but kind of sweet :)

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  • Are you mad?  This is only going to help YOU out!  You won't have to cart crap over to visit grandma's house later.

    I think its a newer trend, like Babymoons and Push Presents.  All sort of unneccessary, but whatever.  I had never heard of it either until my in-laws were given a surprise grandparents shower by their friends before DD was born.

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