April 2013 Moms

WOuld you be mad at dh?

I've been telling dh I wanted a tredmill for my bday/xmas present for about 6 months now.  I am just scared that getting to the gym/running with 4 kids is going to be next to impossible since it is already very difficult with 3.  DH got a 400 dollar remote control car for his bday/xmas present.

Well unexpectedly our furnace broke and cost us 3000 so now tredmill is put on hold probably forever since we have xmas bills for the kids coming up. Today is my bday and I was the one who got up early with the kids/did laundry/went to work.  Came home DH is watching a movie and DS is playing video games and the house is a disaster.  I just broke down crying.  He could have at least MADE me a card??  Am I being overly emotional?  What does your dh do for your bday? PS he did say happy bday and give me a hug if that counts for anything???  It made me more anoyed though bc I wanted to be like you need to put a little more effort in than that!!!

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Re: WOuld you be mad at dh?

  • :(  Sorry your DH didn't do something special for you.

    On a happier note, though, Happy Birthday to You!   

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  • I probably would have cried, too :(
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  • Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy brithday dear... TB stranger, Happy birthday to you! Yeahhhhh!

    Maybe he has a nice romantic dinner planned? or a sweet little hidden gift somewhere he is holding for later?

    I would have cried too... sorry.

  • First, happy birthday!!! Party!!!  Cake  Gift

    I would be totally mad if I came home to a complete disaster and my DH just being a lazy bum.  I do think husbands should at the very least get a card/make a card for their wives on their birthday, if gifts are indeed not in the plan for that year.  I'm so sorry he wasn't a little more considerate.  Couldn't he have made/ordered dinner or something?  sheesh.

    That said, I had a not-so-great birthday this year too, especially considering it was the big 3-0!  We took possession of our house the day before, were up till midnight ripping out carpet (so the contractors could come in the next day).  On my birthday, I went to work exhausted, then my friend was being called to the bar, so I went to that ceremony and went to a celebratory dinner (for her) with her family, where I got the worst meal ever.  We did have cake at the end of the night, but my DH did not get me a card or anything. 

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  • Happy Birthday!

    I would have cried. We had a couple really rough special occasions/holidays that I cried about and that's when DH learned that no matter what he should send me flowers and writes me a little note for special days. 

    You might need to have a solid chat with DH about the importance of showing you that how special you are to him.  

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  • We don't exchange gifts, but if he doesn't get me a card, he knows he's in for tears.  I'd be upset.
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  • First of all: Happy Birthday!!! Party!!!

    ..but I would have cried/been mad too! It stinks that your treadmill is on hold, but there are a lot of things he could do that don't cost anything to try & make your day special or better (like not having the house disastrous). But like PP said, maybe he will surprise you with something later...at least lets hope he does for his sake!

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  • First, Happy Birthday!

    Second, yes, I think I would be disappointed or feel unappreciated. I'm not huge on birthdays, but I still would want MH to put in at least a little effort. He could have bought you a card or made you breakfast or something. I hope he redeems himself by tonight!

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  • Wow I'm so sorry. I would have cried too, and it wouldn't have been because of the pg hormones.

     

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  • Men are such idiots. DH fails at my birthday every year. His mom is an on again off again Jehovah's Witness so he wasn't raised with celebrating anything. Most years he doesn't do anything great for any holidays and I am usually lucky if he isn't so miserable that I end up in tears.
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  • Aww thank you everyone for your happy birthdays!!  It made me feel good to read all of your replies since I cant really talk to anyone else about it without falling apart ;(  Ok I am being a bit dramatic....I guess....

    He has no gift hidden away I can guarantee....I already told him through tears why I felt unappreciated and he just made it into this well I am sorry I am not good eough for you argument;(  I just got some bath and body works soaps in the mail from my bff so that helps a little. Sorry to be such a downer and thanks again for all of the kind thoughts.;)

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  • I would say that most guys need things spelled out for them because that's true, but I'd apply that more to a situation where you wanted YH to go all-out.  In this case, he didn't even get a card?  Some flowers?  Not even a Happy Birthday hug?  Yeah, I'd be mad.  To me, that's just thoughtless.  I probably would have said something, but I can get pretty confrontational when two people are supposed to be putting in 100% and one is only putting in partial effort.

    All bad feelings aside, I wish you a HAPPY BIRTHDAY, and I do hope it turns out to be a good day/evening.

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  • image TriciaChick:

    I already told him through tears why I felt unappreciated and he just made it into this well I am sorry I am not good eough for you argument...

    *siiiiiigh*  Typical male response.  Criticism of any type is viewed as an attack from which they must defend themselves.  He just didn't see your explanation for what it was.  I'm sorry, lady.  At least you got some cool stuff from your BFF.  Enjoy the hell out of it.  Take a nice, loooooooong bath.  =)

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  • I am so sorry :( I'd be in tears too!
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  • Happy Birthday!

    I would have cried too! He could of put more effort into your b-day. Sorry :(

     

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  • Happy Birthday!

    I would definitely be pissed, and probably cry too! Tell him you are going out for a mani/pedi and he is in charge of cleaning up before you get back!!
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  • I just realized I forgot to say happy birthday! It's pregnancy brain. I swear I'm not selfish.
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  • Yes, I would be pissed. I think he certainly should have done something nice for you, even if money is tight. He could have let you sleep in, made you a card, cleaned up the house, made dinner, etc. None of those would cost any/much money and would have been meaningful. 

    I'm sorry YH dropped the ball today. I hope you manage to have a nice birthday anyway. 

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  • I'm sorry DH is being a clueless DUDE! Maybe your bump buddies can cheer you up!!!! Let me give it a shot. 

     HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!! DON'T LET DH MAKE YOU BLUE!!!! IT'S YOUR SPECIAL DAY! LET CALGON TAKE YOU AWAY!!!!

    Now, go get a cake and don't share with DH!  ;)

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  • Yeah it would have annoyed me too...

     

    Happy Birthday tho!

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  • image TriciaChick:

    I already told him through tears why I felt unappreciated and he just made it into this well I am sorry I am not good eough for you argument;(  I just got some bath and body works soaps in the mail from my bff so that helps a little. Sorry to be such a downer and thanks again for all of the kind thoughts.;)

    You're not a downer! I went through the same thing on my birthday last week, but even I can realize, it wasn't to this degree! I'm so sorry he's being an insensitive jerk. :(

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 

    Isaac Levi 4/26/09 : BFP#2 - MC 9w : Ezra John 6/26/11 : Miriam Joy 4/12/13 : Naomi Ann 9/2/14

  • image TriciaChick:

    Aww thank you everyone for your happy birthdays!!  It made me feel good to read all of your replies since I cant really talk to anyone else about it without falling apart ;(  Ok I am being a bit dramatic....I guess....

    He has no gift hidden away I can guarantee....I already told him through tears why I felt unappreciated and he just made it into this well I am sorry I am not good eough for you argument;(  I just got some bath and body works soaps in the mail from my bff so that helps a little. Sorry to be such a downer and thanks again for all of the kind thoughts.;)

    Wow, way for him to be a martyr.  I wouldnt have been crying, I would have been screaming.  Is he normally better about this kind of stuff or does he usually treat you this badly and then try to turn the argument around? 

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  • Awwww seriously you all DID make me smile.  Is it sort of sad a bunch of strangers (well really COOL strangers!) have made my bday better than DH did??? LOL.  Casie!  Your song is amazing.  I will totally be humming it while sinking into my scooby doo grape scented bubble bath (since of course that is all we have on hand lol).  To answer miss bri uestion on a day to day basis he is good...complimentary to me and definatly more "loving" than I tend to be.  Bdays and valentines day etc seem to be lost to him.  Sigh!  Thanks again everyone.
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  • image NativeFloridian:
    image TriciaChick:

    I already told him through tears why I felt unappreciated and he just made it into this well I am sorry I am not good eough for you argument...

    *siiiiiigh*  Typical male response.  Criticism of any type is viewed as an attack from which they must defend themselves.  He just didn't see your explanation for what it was.  I'm sorry, lady.  At least you got some cool stuff from your BFF.  Enjoy the hell out of it.  Take a nice, loooooooong bath.  =)

     I think we should stop thinking of these responses and behaviors as being "typical male responses".  That should not be typical, and we should not tolerate it.  I could not imagine my SO treating me like that and doing NOTHING for my birthday.  I have the expectation of being treated a certain way, and so therefore they meet my expectation and I dont tolerate otherwise.  I just feel like by saying this is typical, we enable that behavior because we more or less expect it of them.  I dont want this post to come off as rude. Lately Ive been reading a lot of posts about the men in our lives bad behavior being chalked up to the way they are, and I think we deserve and should expect better.

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  • I would be super annoyed that he couldn't even be considerate enough to clean up the house.

    Did he have the kids make you a card at least? I know I would be hurt if he didn't help them do something for me.

    Happy Birthday!

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  • I agree with PP.  I would be upset.  Cleaning up so you have a nice house to come home to is such an easy thing and means so much... but guys just don't get it.

    That being said - the night isn't over, so hopefully he has a card or gift waiting for you somewhere.  But happy birthday anyway! 

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  • :( sorry he flaked on your bday. Hopefully the night isnt over and something will turn out better.

     

    But HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU :)

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  • image Miss Bri:
    image NativeFloridian:
    image TriciaChick:

    I already told him through tears why I felt unappreciated and he just made it into this well I am sorry I am not good eough for you argument...

    *siiiiiigh*  Typical male response.  Criticism of any type is viewed as an attack from which they must defend themselves.  He just didn't see your explanation for what it was.  I'm sorry, lady.  At least you got some cool stuff from your BFF.  Enjoy the hell out of it.  Take a nice, loooooooong bath.  =)

     I think we should stop thinking of these responses and behaviors as being "typical male responses".  That should not be typical, and we should not tolerate it.  I could not imagine my SO treating me like that and doing NOTHING for my birthday.  I have the expectation of being treated a certain way, and so therefore they meet my expectation and I dont tolerate otherwise.  I just feel like by saying this is typical, we enable that behavior because we more or less expect it of them.  I dont want this post to come off as rude. Lately Ive been reading a lot of posts about the men in our lives bad behavior being chalked up to the way they are, and I think we deserve and should expect better.

    I'm not saying it ought to be tolerated - at least not on a regular basis, though we all have days when we're just thoughtless and/or jerks - but currently it is typical behavior for most men at least some of the time.  I won't ever let my SO get away with forgetting or otherwise not celebrating important days (for him to do so would be what I consider him asking to get in trouble) but it generally is in guys' nature to try to get away with doing the smallest, simplest thing they can because their brains don't like intricacies or complications.

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  • I'm sorry! It definitely stinks that you are put on the back burner.

    Happy Birthday! 

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  • Aw, we are Birthday twins!! Happy Birthday!!

    We needed a new surprise battery for my car yesterday, awesome. Happy Birthday to me! I told my husband that I expect the dishes to be done and the kitchen cleaned as my Birthday gift... let's see if that happens....

     

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