June 2011 Moms

apparently I have managed to piss DH off

This morning as I was leaving for daycare and he was leaving for the Y, he said he was going to turn Stella's carseat next week.  I said no.  He said his manual said he could at 20 lbs. I told him no.  He said her legs are too scrunched, I said she is fine....especially for the short distance she is in his car.  So now, I think he's not speaking to me.

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The Shrinking Fat Chick

Re: apparently I have managed to piss DH off

  • Even though I agree with you, maybe more of an explanation of why rather than "no" would have made him a little less PO'd... How about breaking out the old Youtube video of the child that was internally decapitated?  That might bring him around to the light.  GL

     

    P.S.- I'd be PO'd at my DH for even bringing up the FFing subject with DS3 (DD2 is still RFing at 2 3/4)

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  • image MammaBear81:

    Even though I agree with you, maybe more of an explanation of why rather than "no" would have made him a little less PO'd... How about breaking out the old Youtube video of the child that was internally decapitated?  That might bring him around to the light.  GL

     

    P.S.- I'd be PO'd at my DH for even bringing up the FFing subject with DS3 (DD2 is still RFing at 2 3/4)

    Had we been inside with laptop at hand, that may have worked (or not) but this was as we were in the driveway, I'm strapping her in and we're getting ready to go.  Seriously though, he left without saying a word to even try to discuss it further. 

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  • image Sunidaze:
    image MammaBear81:

    Had we been inside with laptop at hand, that may have worked (or not) but this was as we were in the driveway, I'm strapping her in and we're getting ready to go.  Seriously though, he left without saying a word to even try to discuss it further. 

    I totally agree that he is being a baby, but I try to avoid getting into situations that will make my DH act that way.  When I explain to him why I think something is a bad idea (this works on toddlers and kids too!) he is less likely to think I'm saying no just to be a pain.  You don't need to whip out the laptop then and there, but a simple "research has show that it is XYZ% safer to RF longer, if you would like I can email/show you statistics later, until then, please keep her RFing"  I'm not saying it works for everyone, but it brings my DH down off the "I'm going to act like a baby now" ledge. Just telling my DH "no" for anything would not be a good idea (even if I was pressed for time).  Sorry he's being a jerk

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  • I'm a little shocked he doesn't already know the stastics. Sorry he's being a butthead!
  • It sounds like the circumstances didn't help. I think my DH would get pissed as well if I just tried to tell him "no" without any additional information. I understand that you were both in a hurry. Next time, you might want to try something like "Actually, I think we need to keep her RF for a while longer. We can talk about it more tonight."

    Sorry about the way it went down! Not a great way to start the morning.

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  • image nfrtny:
    I'm a little shocked he doesn't already know the stastics. Sorry he's being a butthead!

    I know...this is what surprises me given his job.

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  • Well I suppose that's a small price to pay for your LOs safety. FWIW, when I know DH is being dumb, it doesn't bother me if he's upset or not; it's his problem.

  • DH and I have fought over RFing/FFing so many times. At least now the official recommendation has changed. With my older two kids, the videos and random info did nothing to help convince him. He's still not convinced, but is more willing to go along with it because it's becoming more mainstream.
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  • I think a "No, it really is 5x  safer for her to stay rear facing. She risks internal decapitation in an accident if we turn her. Remind me to show you all the research later when you have time" Would have gone a long way. We don't like it when our husbands just put their foot down and say no without a reason, and I know they don't like it when we do it!
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  • He's over it.  I sent him a text later in the day asking him to please do a little research that afternoon or if he wanted me to send him links and if he had further questions or reservations we could talk about it later.

    Please understand that the way I posted the conversation, it was not verbatim and there was a little more to it than the quick summation I gave.

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  • image Sunidaze:

    Please understand that the way I posted the conversation, it was not verbatim and there was a little more to it than the quick summation I gave.

    right after I posted I was thinking that. I was thinking you probably didn't just say "No. and I'm not telling you why either, so there!" haha!

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  • Other than leaving without a word, I don't see how he was being a jerk. He didn't agree with you, that's all. Just saying "No" doesn't help. I realize you didn't have time. Maybe you could have said, "I've done some research on that. Let's talk about it later."

    For what it's worth, I totally, 100% agree with you. Rear facing for as long as humanly possible.

     

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