Baby Showers

do i "have" to go to this shower?

My husbands cousin came to my shower about a month and a half ago, which I thought was very nice since neither she and him, nor she and I are close.  She is having a sprinkle thrown for her by her sister (2nd child - 1st is just under 2).  It is 1.5 weeks before my due date, just over an hour away.  None of DH's family is going.  They say she "never comes to anything" and were all surprised she came to mine.  I feel like because she came to mine, I should go to hers.  However, DH doesnt want me going alone (and frankly i dont think its a good idea either, as ive been contracting for a month and wouldnt be totally shocked if i went early).  What do you think?  Do i owe it to his cousin to go?  Can i just send a small gift instead?

Re: do i "have" to go to this shower?

  • No, you don't have to go. Send a gift if you so feel inclined.


  • image MrsNorry:
    No, you don't have to go. Send a gift if you so feel inclined.

    Exactly this. I wouldn't go if I were in your shoes.  

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  • Politely decline, citing your impending due date and send a gift. 
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  • image MrsNorry:
    No, you don't have to go. Send a gift if you so feel inclined.
    yup, this. It's nice the she came, but That doesn't require you to go. 
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  • My hospital was over an hour away!  lol  You do not have to feel obligated to attend her shower but I do feel you should send  a gift.  If you don't know her and your DH doesn't know her...how is it she was even invited to your shower?  Or did she come "uninvited"...which would be wierd?
  • image MelleTX:
    Politely decline, citing your impending due date and send a gift. 

    This.

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  • not at all. it is a sprinkle n who knows you could already have your baby.  

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  • I wouldn't go. Just send a small gift like your mentioned.

    I have noticed a couple of my coworkers only attended other coworkers' bridal showers that were around the time of their shower. They never attended previous ones and haven't attended any since. One of these people is also the one that registered for a 3,500 fridge along with other pricey appliances.
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  • image MelleTX:
    Politely decline, citing your impending due date and send a gift. 

    this exactly!

    Im sure she will totally understand since it is a distance, and so close to your due date. 

  • I'm actually going to be cynical here for a moment.  For the fact that she's having a "sprinkle" for her 2nd and her first isn't even 2 yet.... her "nearest and dearest" should be the only people invited, and you're clearly NOT in this category.

    I kind of wonder if she came because she's come to realize that no one in DH's family comes to her stuff because she never bothers to go to theirs.  SO.... "oh, I have an event coming up and I'm inviting a bunch of distant people and I want gifts - I better go to one of theirs so tha tmaybe some of them will come to mine".

    Cynical, yes.  But still - what is her motivation to now come?

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  • You are never required to attend a shower no matter if it's for a first or second baby. You also happen to have a great reason for not going. If you want to send a gift, send it. She should understand.
  • image blush64:
    You are never required to attend a shower no matter if it's for a first or second baby. You also happen to have a great reason for not going. If you want to send a gift, send it. She should understand.

    I agree.

    I would also decline due to the timing and next time you chat with her, let her know that you can't wait to visit after #2 is born. If she invites you, THEN you can bring her a small gift. Diapers, blanket, etc.

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  • image MelleTX:
    Politely decline, citing your impending due date and send a gift. 

    I agree with this. She should understand given the circumstances.

    Lillian April 17, 2012
  • My doc told me not to be further than an hour from the hospital for the last month, so I wouldn't risk it if I were you- especially if you're already having lots of contractions.

     I would call her and let her know that you're really bummed you're going to miss it, but need to stay close to home so close to your due date so there aren't any hurt feelings and  I would definitely send a gift. 

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  • image rhubarb123:
    My hospital was over an hour away!  lol  You do not have to feel obligated to attend her shower but I do feel you should send  a gift.  If you don't know her and your DH doesn't know her...how is it she was even invited to your shower?  Or did she come "uninvited"...which would be wierd?

     

    My husband obviously "knows" her, as it's his first cousin.  Her mother is my MIL's sister.  I know her mother quite well, and she attended my shower, and brought her daughter who is expecting.  I dont know if she was invited, as I didnt plan the shower, but I did hear through the rumor mill that she came because she and her husband were having quite an arguement.  So, who knows.  What she invited to mine?  Not sure...


  • image EastCoastBride:

    I'm actually going to be cynical here for a moment.  For the fact that she's having a "sprinkle" for her 2nd and her first isn't even 2 yet.... her "nearest and dearest" should be the only people invited, and you're clearly NOT in this category.

    I kind of wonder if she came because she's come to realize that no one in DH's family comes to her stuff because she never bothers to go to theirs.  SO.... "oh, I have an event coming up and I'm inviting a bunch of distant people and I want gifts - I better go to one of theirs so tha tmaybe some of them will come to mine".

    Cynical, yes.  But still - what is her motivation to now come?

    This is EXACTLY what It hink happened!!  A

    And as I responded to a PP I dont even know if she was invited to mine (I know her mother was, whom I know quite well and find lovely.  Again, i heard that she was in a huge fight with her husband and tagged along with her mom)


  • No.  Sending a gift is just fine.
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