April 2011 Moms

Who taught him "come here" means run away??

We have a potentially serious issue. My son seems to think "come here" means run as fast as possible in the opposite direction. He thinks its a game, or something, but it's not! Imagine if he falls or touches something hot or runs into the road or anything! For the past couple weeks or so he deliberately runs away when we try to get him to come to us. For instance, if I ask him to come to me, for a diaper or outfit change, he'll run into his closet and no amount of coaxing, yelling, bribing, anything, will make him get out of the closet until I physically pull him out. Not so long ago, my son and I were in the bathroom, when suddenly he opened the door and ran out faster than I could get up to catch him and raced down the hall, barrelling at full speed smack into the upstairs gate, which gave from the force of him literally racing into it. I had a bruise on my leg for a week from slamming into the corner of the wall when I lunged for him. It didnt fall down the staircase, just the top of it fell over, the bottom was still attached, but if he was bigger and stronger, he probably could have flipped over it and down the stairs!! So, my question is what on earth am I supposed to do? We don't even really play that, "I'm gonna get you and tickle you" game either a whole lot, or at least, not with those words. Any suggestions?

Re: Who taught him "come here" means run away??

  • DS is doing this right now too..

    i find even if he's holding something i don't want him to hold and say no no and go towards him he'll throw it - i've changed to walking slowly towards him without saying anything until i get close enough to either grab it or else say oh can you show mommy what you have and smile and walk.......damn kids are outsmarting us!!!

     but for him running away - does he just run away for no reason or only when you want him to come to you or if you go to grab after him? is there a way to just kind of cut him off at the pass? before he can get away?  i do totally have a runner too so i feel for you. i hate when we're out and about and he runs off because i'm 27 weeks pg and i can't run very fast!! those little legs get moving quickly too.....

    not sure that really helped but at least i feel for you! :) 

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  • I find if I get in front of him that he will then try and run in the opposite direction. Otherwise, he is off and totally ignoring me, or he keeps looking back and laughing at me. Frustrating, but I know it's just a phase.
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    Proud mama to a little boy with Horner's Syndrome and milk protein sensitivity, and a little girl with multiple food allergies. 
  • Thanks for the sympathy! I'm so glad I'm not alone in this! Occasionally he does come when we ask him to, but far more often than not he runs away, mostly into his closet or a corner. I try to catch him but I'm not always able to. And when I do, he laughs as if he thinks I'm gonna turn tickle-monster on him, even if I'm making it obvious that I'm angry and storm over to him in hopes he'll straighten his act... Which he doesn't do. I'm just concerned that this behavior can turn into an ugly nightmare. He doesn't seem to understand there is a difference between tickle-time and "ok, now i mean business" even though our tone and demeanor is obviously different. I'm clueless on what we can do to curb the behavior. And I'm too afraid of another near-miss like the stairs gate incident. Idk if he'll outgrow it or if there is something I should be trying to do.

    It might be important to note we're currently living with my parents... And my mom's "parenting" style is quite, uh.. radically different than ours. Without getting into a rant about that, she spoils and smothers. I'm not sure how I turned out like I did if that's how she was with me...

  • I have a runner too.  In public, I wrap her on my back 100% of the time.  Her feet do not touch the ground, period.  Since she is so used to being wrapped I don't get much protesting from her.  However, at home it is a different story.  She definitely has selective hearing & does not come when called.  It is frustrating, but this too shall pass...(I hope)

  • At home, I would ignore as much as possible as long as your child is safe. Kids love the reactions of their parents, even the negative ones at time. With DD, I'll say something like, "oh, I really hope you come see mama so I can put your shoes on and we can go outside.". She will often run away, then turn back and get closer to me and them run away again. I'll just repeat it, "mama has your shoes and when you are ready to put them on, we can go outside. " She will come even closer and when she comes close enough that I can reach her, I scoop her in to my lap and say " great job listening and coming to mama," even if she is protesting at that point. If she doesn't come close enough, I wait until she is done running and is distracted and again scoop her up and praise her for helping get her shoes on. 

    As soon as I take chase, she thinks it is a game and runs faster, so unless she is in immediate danger, I have to wait until she gets distracted or ignore her. Good luck! 


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