June 2011 Moms

Non-pregnant mamas

Do any of you feel a little behind the times? Like you're not keeping up with the Joneses? I have fertility issues so deciding to have another is a big deal for us. I'll probably never have a surprise baby. IRL all of our friends are either pregnant with their 2nd or already have 2.
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Re: Non-pregnant mamas

  • We have been TTC for a few months now but it doesn't help when it seems like everyone I know with a child around DS's age is getting KU again. DS's daycare provider keeps asking me and the other day she said in a resigned voice, "so he's going to be an only child?" Omg. Give us some time, we are working on it!!
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  • Yep. I had my IUD removed in July and I still haven't had a period. I was temping and really getting into taking my PNV's but after CD 60, I stopped being excited and now I'm just anxious. I scheduled an appointment with my OB to run preliminary tests and such but I feel like I'm behind.

    I feel silly for thinking that way, but Jack was a surprise so I guess I'm just getting frustrated or anxious.

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  • I don't think I feel behind the times so much. I have mixed emotions about it. As much as I want to be pregnant and I can't wait to have another baby, it makes me sad knowing this is it. This is the last time I will get to be pregnant and the last time to experience birth and have a newborn.... So in a sense I am not in a rush... I don't know if that makes sense to anyone. LOL!

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  • No..we want our kids to be spaced a bit further apart, which is what is right for our family. Other people do what is right for their families. You can't compare yourself to others, you'll just make yourself crazy!
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  • Obviously, I am pregnant, but was just curious about this post so I read it.

    I feel the exact opposite of you ladies! LO2 was a complete surprise for us and everyone keeps talking about how "I'll have my hands full" and "how close they'll be in age" or that I "must be crazy." (LOs will be 18m apart). Wtf am I supposed to say to that? Ha. Oh, you're right. I guess I'll go back in time and NOT have sex. Good idea! So glad you told me! Ha.

    I think people just like to have opinions, most of which suck. I'm sorry that any of you feel that way or that people are making rude comments. However, people would probably say rude things if you were pregnant again anyway. People just like to talk and absolutely do not think. Sorry they're being rude and good luck deciding whenever to get pregnant again/ttc.

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  • image magnoliablossom00:

    Obviously, I am pregnant, but was just curious about this post so I read it.

    I feel the exact opposite of you ladies! LO2 was a complete surprise for us and everyone keeps talking about how "I'll have my hands full" and "how close they'll be in age" or that I "must be crazy." (LOs will be 18m apart). Wtf am I supposed to say to that? Ha. Oh, you're right. I guess I'll go back in time and NOT have sex. Good idea! So glad you told me! Ha.

    I think people just like to have opinions, most of which suck. I'm sorry that any of you feel that way or that people are making rude comments. However, people would probably say rude things if you were pregnant again anyway. People just like to talk and absolutely do not think. Sorry they're being rude and good luck deciding whenever to get pregnant again/ttc.

    This is a good way to think about it, thank you! :)

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  • I'm 39, even if Alexis makes 5 I still feel that way. I want to be pregnant like 5 months ago. Alexis was a surprised, I had a tubal reversal and was told it was not successful and I would need IVF to have anymore. Well Alexis came the old fashion way, and now I have my hopes up for another. I BF still but have had AF since 6weeks PP I was hoping it would still happen. Dec I have  my yearly set up if I'm not pregnant by then I will have the Ob run some test. I hope Alexis BF is what is causing the delay but she just doesn't want to have anything to do with weaning. I may push the it after Christmas.

     I get just about everyone who thinks I'm crazy, I just don't care anymore.


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  • i do feel like a lot of my friends are prrgnant again with 2 before we are even trying. but we have our plan to try after our vacation and i want to stick with that. i am so excited to be pregnant again so seeing everyone makes me antsy:
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  • In my group of mommy friends 4/8 mommys are pregnant. I don't feel left out but I do sometimes wish I could get pregnant again right now. However I know waiting until next fall is what's right for our family. 

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  • I am excited that we will start trying at the start of 2013.  I do feel like everyone I know is pregnant with a 2nd or 3rd child and it makes me want January to get here quicker. It also makes me nervous because I want to get KU immediately and I know it isn't always that easy. (It took over a year last time but I wasn't a diligent cycle watcher). 

    I have always had stupid timeline expectations in my head that get to me more than what other people are doing. I always expected to have 2 by 30 which could happen...well it could happen while I'm 30.  I'm 29 right now.  I'm learning to let go of my stupid planning and timelines. 

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  • Yep, way behind.  I'll likely never have a surprise either so I feel you.  I think I'll be lucky to even get pregnant again.
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  • Yes.  I was on the timeline I had wanted (maybe a little ahead, they were going to be 21 months apart, my ideal was 24 months) when I got pregnant around DD first birthday but everything got thrown off when we lost the baby just before 15 weeks.  Now I am sitting around waiting to get my period back and watching all DD's friends' moms have #2.  
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  • image rlmanning:
    I don't think I feel behind the times so much. I have mixed emotions about it. As much as I want to be pregnant and I can't wait to have another baby, it makes me sad knowing this is it. This is the last time I will get to be pregnant and the last time to experience birth and have a newborn.... So in a sense I am not in a rush... I don't know if that makes sense to anyone. LOL!

    This is how I feel too!

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  • I really want to be pregnant again with LO#2, so I get a tinge of jealousy when I see others announce.  However, DD1 is a handful, so I think it's a blessing in disguise that I'm not currently pregnant.  I think it would be best to wait a few more months.  But my previous IF is making me anxious.  If I knew I could get pregnant easily, I wouldn't be so anxious about #2.  It took 2 years and 2 m/c to finally get pregnant with DD1.  I just have a bad feeling it will be the same with #2 and I'm 35 years old, so I don't want to wait forever.
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  • None of my friends, or my siblings have kids. I feel waayyy ahead of the game, but I do feel left out in my own way :/ 

  • We have fertility issues also.  We decided to start trying again in February/March.  I need to go to the dr again for my yearly and to see if we need to be referred to the specialists again.  I have just become comfortable with the thought of being pregnant.  Last time took us a yr to conceive so a little worried about how long it will take this time considering I am 38.  Hopefully this time it will not take as long since we know what helped last time.
  • DD is probably going to be our only child and sometimes I get a little anxious that I might regret the decision to have just one later on down the road. Very often I am asked about having a second child and it seems like most people just assume that if you have one, that another one should be following shortly after that. I do get a little sad thinking that this is both the first and last time that I'll get to raise a child, but at the same time, I just don't think I want to start all over again and do it a second time.
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  • Feeling left out here as a couple of friends IRL who had their babies around the same time as me, or after me, are already pregnant or already having their second. Even when it's not the right time for you, it does make you antsy watching others move forward!
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  • image gymnst1013:
    Yep, way behind.  I'll likely never have a surprise either so I feel you.  I think I'll be lucky to even get pregnant again.

     

    This exactly!

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  • I think we JUST go to the point where we (okay - more I than DH...he's always been ready for #2) are ready to TTC.  I think we're going to start TTC beginning of next year.
  • I love this board. Honesty is hard to get IRL.
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  • We, well I, had originally wanted to start trying in February. I really want a November baby. And I know you can't plan it, but I did plan Alexis and she worked perfectly ;) but I have changed my mind. I still need to loose a lot of weight before I get pregnant again. Also I have decided to start working towards going back to school to get my Masters I definitely do want to have #2 before I go back to school, so it will probably go back in 2 years in the meantime I do need to take 4 classes that I didn't take within my major, because I was concentrating on Law School. So I will be taking 2 at the CC here next semester and 2 online the following semester and then taking a year to prepare for the GRE. So my plan is to start trying in May and hopefully getting pregnant in February or March, but of course you never know. That would make it so that I have 6 months before I would enter into my program to be with the baby and all that.

    The company I work for is amazing and have amazing benefits with tuition reimbursement and paid Short term disability, so it would make it so nice for us. 

  • I would love to have another but we really can't afford it.  DC is sooo expensive.  Our goal is to pay down some debt and for me to have LO #2 in spring of 2015 so I can take a year off work and skip DC for both.  That would make DD almost 4 when LO #2 arrives and then DD would go to kindergarten and LO#2 would start daycare in September (I'm a teacher).
  • image babysteps23:

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    DD is probably going to be our only child and sometimes I get a little anxious that I might regret the decision to have just one later on down the road. Very often I am asked about having a second child and it seems like most people just assume that if you have one, that another one should be following shortly after that. I do get a little sad thinking that this is both the first and last time that I'll get to raise a child, but at the same time, I just don't think I want to start all over again and do it a second time.

    This is totally me.  My pregnancy was beautiful, I'd do pregnancy again in a heartbeat I loved it.  But the labor and delivery was awful and dangerous.  Having a newborn with extreme colic was a nightmare and things really didn't start to level out with him until very recently.  My "plan" was always to have two but he is so incredibly high needs that I can't imagine having another now.  I feel guilty and odd because people keep asking me when the next is coming and it makes me feel like there is something wrong with me because I don't think I want more.   Someone even said, "What's the point if you're only going to have one". Wow, um the point is him?  I don't know.  But then I remember, the biggest thing that holds people back in their happiness is focusing on "how it was supposed to be".  I had him, he is who he is and I love him more than life, but now that I know him I think plans have changed!  Also, financially I just don't see another being in the cards.  And, I really don't like hearing that money shouldn't be a factor.  I want my child/children to have everything they need and some of what they want! 

    It sounds like our LOs have some things in common, so maybe that's why we both feel similarly about a 2nd baby . DD had pretty bad colic for about 4 months and during that time, I did a lot of searching on the internet and she fit Dr. Sear's criteria for a "high need baby" to a "T". 

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  • No.  But generally speaking what other people are doing doesn't phase me.

    Sometimes I just think man, I cannot imagine having a newborn right now.  That's as far as I think about it.

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  • I feel behind.  A lady at work had her second child recently when her son was only 19 months old.  We were pregnant with our first children at the same time so I was slightly jealous when she had her second.  However, I've always known I wanted my kids at least two years apart.  Now that we are there, we have just started trying (this week!) for #2.  I got pregnant easily the first time, but I'm 36 years old this time around.  My eggs are a little less fresh and that makes me worry that I will either A. have problems getting pregnant or B. have a miscarriage.  Yes, i'm a glass half empty type of person!

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  • I am kind of on the opposite end, I am scared to vet pregnant again not that we aren't doing  much to avoid still trying to physc husband up for vasectomy and we'll our sex life isn't that busy right now we're lucky to hit once every other week.

    We are wanting to have an only child unless a surprise baby comes. My friend and sister in law are both dew in three weeks and I'm getting excited and get moments of oh that would be cute but I don't miss being pregnant or the baby stage I just love watching our little boy grow. 

    Part of me thinks it would be sweet to have another and start trying yet the other part of me is saying no only one that's what we want at least in a couple weeks I'll have new babies to occupy me. 
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  • I'm more tired of the questions of when are you going to have #2 from everyone other than my family.  My H's family wants me to have another as they need me to have a boy (family name deal).  I'm not ready for another and we can't afford another.  But yes seeing all the new babies at daycare are making me wish for a little one of my own but then I have my easy going girl who is becoming a headstrong terror the last couple weeks and know it would be a ton of work to deal with a toddler and a newborn. 
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  • No, pretty much no one I know IRL has 2u2. People ask if we're going to have another, but no one is asking when. I think in another year we'll be trying again. I thought I was getting closer to the point where having a newborn in the house wasn't terribly scary, but LO decided last night to wake up every 30 minutes between 11:30 and 2. So, yeah, I could use a few more consecutive good nights of sleep before thinking about it again.
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  • I don't feel behind.  No.  But I am ready to try.  Speaking of which, I need to call my doc to have my iud removed.  :)

    I think each family is different and you can't really worry what other families are choosing to do.  You have to do what works for you.  :)

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