Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

Trying not to brag about my son to people.

As a mother I am so excited when my son does things that make me proud. He is the smartest little boy I have ever met. He knows all of his letters (can point them out and can say most of them). Knows about 10 or more shapes (can point them out), and knows numbers 1-10 (can say about 5 and can point out the rest). Every time he does something amazing like this I want to shout it out. But I don't want others feeling like I am bragging about him. I mean lets face it. Everyone else on facebook likes to post videos, update their status, or post pictures when their kid does something good. So why do I feel a hesitation when I want to post something online or even bring him up in conversation. I am his mom. I should be proud to talk about it. But I don't want to hurt others feelings because my son is so much more advanced. It doesn't help that many times if I do say something about what he has done another mom makes a comment "wow, I need to start working with my kid more". At that point I don't know what to say. 

Thanks for letting me vent. Any advice would be appreciated.  

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Re: Trying not to brag about my son to people.

  • I guess you just brag here instead!  FWIW I don't put much thought in the FB posts anyway...
  • Lol! Okay...

    I stopped playing  the mom -competition  a while ago. My daughter is already doing more than the average almost 3 year old but I don't feel the need to brag. What do I really benefit from "announcing" she can do something others can't? Really...we all get there at some point and getting there at 2 rather than 3 (such as knowing letters) doesn't really make a difference anyways. Some moms on Facebook are constantly doing this and it just makes me laugh. 

    I don't know reading "bring up bebe" was a real eye opener to me as a mother and as a person. 

     

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  • Maybe my title was misleading but my point is that I don't want to brag. But at the same time I do want to feel like I can talk to others about my son without them thinking I am bragging.

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  • I think it depends on how you say it...and be prepared for any reaction.

     

  • Its totally fine to talk about your son.

    coming from a sister, who's brother has a 155 IQ and did multiplication at 3.  Talking about your son doesn't mean rubbing it into other's faces, and if people get upset its their own insecurity.

    It isn't about "working" with your kids.  Some Kids Are Very Smart, Some Are Average.  It makes life interesting.  It is their fault they are comparing not yours.  If your son is smart, he is smart.  It is what it is, and it is who HE is.  So share it and enjoy him.

    My little brother is amazingly smart.  I mean I think he thinks totally differently than most people, but he is humble, etc.  and my parents never sat down and "worked" with him :) 

  • It is important to note:

     

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    Which is to say, haters gunna hate. Just don't be a douche about it and you'll be fine.

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  • I think that talking about or bragging about your son could get on people's nerves.  A little humility in life goes a LONG way.  Good for you that your son is a smart baby, but let other people notice that for themselves.  Every child will have different skills and talents, and all parents are just as proud of their kids as you are of yours. 

  • image akating:

    As a mother I am so excited when my son does things that make me proud. He is the smartest little boy I have ever met. He knows all of his letters (can point them out and can say most of them). Knows about 10 or more shapes (can point them out), and knows numbers 1-10 (can say about 5 and can point out the rest). Every time he does something amazing like this I want to shout it out. But I don't want others feeling like I am bragging about him. I mean lets face it. Everyone else on facebook likes to post videos, update their status, or post pictures when their kid does something good. So why do I feel a hesitation when I want to post something online or even bring him up in conversation. I am his mom. I should be proud to talk about it. But I don't want to hurt others feelings because my son is so much more advanced. It doesn't help that many times if I do say something about what he has done another mom makes a comment "wow, I need to start working with my kid more". At that point I don't know what to say. 

    Thanks for letting me vent. Any advice would be appreciated.  

    It's all about your attitude. It's fine to tell someone or post about your kid's accomplishments (once in awhile) if it's done in a matter of fact kind of way. If it's said in a my-kid-is-so-much-more-advanced-than-yours kind of way, people are going to be turned off. Wouldn't you be? Keep in mind too, no matter how smart your kid is, there's always a kid out there smarter than him. It keeps you humble.

     


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  • I think my kid is the only thing I talk about on Facebook anymore. I don't give a rat's @ss what people think.  If it annoys them, they can remove me from their news feed.  That's what I do to anyone who posts political junk.
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  • I think kids are advanced in different areas.  Some have amazing social skills, some are very physical, some have greater mental abilities, etc.  It all evens out.

    FWIW I think you could have written your post without adding in all the things you think your son can do that makes him "advanced" - to me, that is bragging.  IMO.  The info wasn't necessary to get your point across.

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  • I think posting unsolicted information about how amazing your son is is bragging.  The appropriate time to share those things is when someone asks you about your son.  Those things you listed sound like something that his grandma or uncles or little old ladies at the grocery would love to hear about when they ask about your son.

    Just because other people put dumb stuff on FB, you don't have to join in the asshat-ery




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  • I post updates on my kids on FB all the time.  I think that is the only thing I post!  My parents live in another state and they love following my posts because it makes them feel like they're keeping up with the kids.  By the time I talk to them on weekends, I often forget some of the little things, so they like catching up on FB better.  I also post an insane number of pictures per request of my mom.  My mom loves that my kids love puzzles.  So I always post pics of the completed puzzles that the kids do when they're able to do them on their own for the first time.  I'm sure my other followers are wondering why I do that, but I don't really care! 

     I think it's fine to be proud of your kid.  It's a different story if you commented on a friend's post and wrote something like, "well MY kid did that when he was 1."

     

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  • Sorry if you all felt I was just bragging here too. That was not my intention at all.  I do not brag in a sense that someone would talk up their kid to someone else. I only post pictures or videos when I get overly excited. I also try my best to keep his over the top pictures and videos to his site (we started a facebook page for him so that his aunt and grandparents (and anyone else)  who live in another state can be updated regularly without annoying the crap out of people). I told people when I created his page that if they don't want to hear about him all the time that it is best to not be friends with him on there. When others talk to me about something great their kid does I do not under any circumstances tell them that my son did that months ago or anything even related to that. I am just trying to get to a point where I can mention that he did something great and not feel bad about it (but never in a situation where it would be comparing to someone else child). I figured I should post here since this was related to my son directly but I guess since you all don't know me I should have just asked it on my birth month board that I am currently a regular on. 
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  • I don't think people will be put off unless you keep repeating (like how you did here) about how "much more advanced" your son is. By the way, his behavior is a marker for autism. So, let's hope it's just being "advanced" and nothing more. If it is, I think it's awesome that your son can do that. However, no, it is not normal, and most people will either be turned off by what they consider bragging, or they will become concerned. I am not trying to sound like a biotch, just trying to be honest (teacher).
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  • image DawnJM25:

    I think that talking about or bragging about your son could get on people's nerves.  A little humility in life goes a LONG way.  Good for you that your son is a smart baby, but let other people notice that for themselves.  Every child will have different skills and talents, and all parents are just as proud of their kids as you are of yours. 

    I agree with this.  Let others notice it for themselves and it will go over well.

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  • image magnoliablossom00:
    I don't think people will be put off unless you keep repeating (like how you did here) about how "much more advanced" your son is. By the way, his behavior is a marker for autism. So, let's hope it's just being "advanced" and nothing more. If it is, I think it's awesome that your son can do that. However, no, it is not normal, and most people will either be turned off by what they consider bragging, or they will become concerned. I am not trying to sound like a biotch, just trying to be honest (teacher).

    Yeah, I have to agree with this and some pp's. You going on and on about "how much more advanced" your kid is, listing example after example, etc. comes across as bragging. As pp said, you could've asked the question without going on and on. It's one thing to state a fact, but when you use language like "much more" it is a comparison and comes off as bragging. You have to consider your audience too. I'm sure grandma loves to hear these stories, but in a group of moms, you'll just have to watch what and how you say it.

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  • I don't know how you act on FB, but here you're definitely coming off a little "I feel so sorry for you that your kid isn't as amazingly awesome super smart and handsome as mine."

     

    The thing is, no matter what accomplishments your son achieves before say, my son, I will still think my son is the best, most amazing child ever. So brag away, no need to feel guilty. No one is going to be jealous. 

     

    FTR, my son only recently grasped the concept of counting. Not reciting numbers, but counting. I "bragged" to my FB friends even though I know their kids have been doing it forever now. His accomplishment is no less to me, and my friends were also excited for him.  I'm sure they didn't feel guilty at all.

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  • image akating:
    Sorry if you all felt I was just bragging here too. That was not my intention at all.  I do not brag in a sense that someone would talk up their kid to someone else. I only post pictures or videos when I get overly excited. I also try my best to keep his over the top pictures and videos to his site (we started a facebook page for him so that his aunt and grandparents (and anyone else)  who live in another state can be updated regularly without annoying the crap out of people). I told people when I created his page that if they don't want to hear about him all the time that it is best to not be friends with him on there. When others talk to me about something great their kid does I do not under any circumstances tell them that my son did that months ago or anything even related to that. I am just trying to get to a point where I can mention that he did something great and not feel bad about it (but never in a situation where it would be comparing to someone else child). I figured I should post here since this was related to my son directly but I guess since you all don't know me I should have just asked it on my birth month board that I am currently a regular on. 
    I think you need to get over yourself and accept that everyone's kid is pretty awesome in their own right.  "Bragging" in social media or IRL is totally fine in moderation, but you have a really ego-centric attitude about it.  Are you that offended by someone else saying that their kid can do something your kid hasn't yet mastered?  Probably not (or at least most people aren't).  And when most people say "guess I should be working with my kid more" after someone else brags up their kid's abilities, they usually are saying it in a rhetorical sense.  The more you say "I don't mean to brag," the more you sound like a AW. 
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  • Sucks my kid is dumb.... Seriously though, bragging is off putting no matter what you brag about. How do you know your kid is more advanced than the next? He may have certain skills down that others lack but others may have skills he lacks. I love it when people say "I don't want to brag, but..." "No offense, but....". You're still doing what you say you're trying not to do. Humility goes a long way.
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  • image jlsimon56:

    I think kids are advanced in different areas.  Some have amazing social skills, some are very physical, some have greater mental abilities, etc.  It all evens out.

    FWIW I think you could have written your post without adding in all the things you think your son can do that makes him "advanced" - to me, that is bragging.  IMO.  The info wasn't necessary to get your point across.

    This.  My DD was running before friend's babies even sat up or crawled.  She's very advanced physically.  Always has been.  But I don't preface conversations by stating how much more advanced she is. 

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  • My son is very birght too....but he is also very very active and a bit of a trouble maker!!  I tend to talk more about the negative aspects about his personality while I am seeking advice.  Really, only you, your H and maybe the grandparents really want to hear all of the details (good or bad). 
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  • I have a friend who does the opposite - her son is very bright and when people mention how smart he is she is like, "Eh, he could be smarter."  I find that more obnoxious than bragging. 

    It doesn't sound like you're bragging, it just sounds like you are excited and proud.  Nothing wrong with that!

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  • As a pp mentioned how I am on Facebook might be different. That seems to be the case. Other than this one instance of contacting you guys for advice I have never talked about the skills my son has on here (As far as I can remember). The thing is I rarely post about his stuff on Facebook either. As I said in an earlier post I only do it if I get really excited. Otherwise it is normal pictures etc. Not sure how my post came across as bragging. I was honestly just looking for some incite. I am sorry that my post offended some of you.

    As for the autism thing. DS loves to be held, give kisses, is great with other people, does not have any issues with clothing or tags rubbing him wrong etc. I looked into the idea of autism when he started showing strong interest in learning and it is just not the case for him. I will however keep watching because I know things can change with regards to autism and its development.

    I figured me spelling out some of his skills was needed otherwise i would get comments like "oh all moms think their kids are brilliant". All i was trying to say is that he tends to be more advanced in things and i am not sure how to talk about him with people (even in regular conversation) without coming off like i am bragging. I am proud of my son. That doesn't mean i am over the top when i talk about him. Seems i talk about him just as much as everyone else does on here. Somehow the picture that was painted from my post was very different than i intended.

    (sorry for the grammer issues i can't correct typos and capitols on my phone well)

     

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  • My older daughter is "advanced". I think the last thing I posted about her on FB was when she learned to walk 2 years ago. I just don't see why you feel the need to tell everyone his accomplishments that all kids his age will hit in the next year or so.
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  • A friend of mine did this and compared all kids to her wonderful, cute, smart and athletic kids.  Ends up, hardly no one in our circle of friends talks to her anymore - her kids are cute, I'm sure smart too, but no one wants to constantly hear that. Most of my friends are the opposite, we get together and trade "war" stories of all the crazy, wild and embarrassing things our kids do and get a good laugh.  She also brags about how great her husband is and we all know he is a jerk... so sometimes it comes off as you are trying to make up for something.  You know the old saying, people who are truly happy don't have to talk about it... they just live their happy lives?

    That said, my facebook page is like a shrine to my kids, but only pictures for family and close friends.  Not updates or stats on how many words they are counting or how advanced they are.

  • I'm not trying to be a jerk but is any of this really advanced for a 17 month old?  

    It seems like you are only proud of these things because you assume no other child can do them.

    Like PP said I was PROUD when my son started to walk, even though he was not early at all.  

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  • image akating:

    As a pp mentioned how I am on Facebook might be different. That seems to be the case. Other than this one instance of contacting you guys for advice I have never talked about the skills my son has on here (As far as I can remember). The thing is I rarely post about his stuff on Facebook either. As I said in an earlier post I only do it if I get really excited. Otherwise it is normal pictures etc. Not sure how my post came across as bragging. I was honestly just looking for some incite. I am sorry that my post offended some of you.

    As for the autism thing. DS loves to be held, give kisses, is great with other people, does not have any issues with clothing or tags rubbing him wrong etc. I looked into the idea of autism when he started showing strong interest in learning and it is just not the case for him. I will however keep watching because I know things can change with regards to autism and its development.

    I figured me spelling out some of his skills was needed otherwise i would get comments like "oh all moms think their kids are brilliant". All i was trying to say is that he tends to be more advanced in things and i am not sure how to talk about him with people (even in regular conversation) without coming off like i am bragging. I am proud of my son. That doesn't mean i am over the top when i talk about him. Seems i talk about him just as much as everyone else does on here. Somehow the picture that was painted from my post was very different than i intended.

    (sorry for the grammer issues i can't correct typos and capitols on my phone well)

     

    I'm still confused as to what "advice" you want.  All I see in any of your posts in this thread is "blah blah blah I think my kid is better than everyone else's."  No one takes offense to someone simply saying, "I'm proud of my kid because he has skills." But to do it in the condescending way you are doing it is really rude. 

    If you didn't want our opinions, you shouldn't have come to a public message board asking for them.  Did you expect us to all say "Wow, your kid is truly a genius, and we are all bad mothers because our kids don't do exactly what your kid does.  Please feel free to tell us all that."?  Because that is how you come across. 

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  • You need to be cool. It's great that your 17mo can recognize letters. Really, it is. Just enough with the "so much more advanced" stuff. There's nothing to feel bad about. There's nothing at all. Just be cool.


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  • My 2.5 year old has hit all those milestones (and more, obviously) and I have never felt the need to announce on facebook that my kid does x, y, or z. Of course, some things are super exciting, like their first step or their first word, but I don't get having to announce that my kid was counting to 10 or recognizing letters or why you feel the need to tell others that stuff--are you that insecure you need recognition that you're doing a good job?

    I just can't imagine how that would come up in conversation with other parents. Usually when I'm talking to mom friends/sharing stuff on FB it's usually sweet things or funny things my kids did. We don't feel the need to tell others what milestones our kids hit--usually when they do things they show friends/family on their own.

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  • I'm surprised at almost all of you who commented on this post. I don't see at all why you are saying she is rude and condescending. She was just giving a little background about her son, since none of you know him. If anyone is being rude it's the rest of you. We come here for advice and a knowing and comforting "ear", not for everyone to shoot us down.

    I think what she is looking for in "advice" is how she should word her posts and keeping a "matter of fact" tone without sounding like she's bragging. It is perfectly fine to post about your son! He's your baby and no matter when he reaches a particular milestone, you will be proud of him and want to show everyone what he can do. It's normal. I agree, keep your posts to a minimum, and just post the most interesting or funniest updates. I'm horrible at posting every single thing my son does, so this was good for me to think about as well. I realized one day the only topic I've posted about for months was my son. But he is my first and currently only child. I can't remember what there was to talk about before he was born. I've since cut waay back too. No one said anything, but I just kinda felt like I was proba bly boring people. It was cute when he was a few months old... but 18 months old... ok, 1000 pics is just excessive. LOL (I dont really have that many on FB.) Just posting funny things he's done, or what is to me, particularly amazing. Such as proving his Ped. wrong when she referred him to a speech therapist because at 15 months he could only say mom-mom and ah-da (his best attempt at dada). Now, at 18 months, something has just clicked and he can say so many words now, and can repeat just about anything. His pronunciation is still off, but he's trying now. He's getting it. That is not bragging. That is a proud triumph for my son. And all of my family and friends who we rarely see, love the updates and the photos. Keep it up. If they really don't care about what you post on FB, they'll simply keep scrolling past it.

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