Feeling like a failure!

I had to have an emergency c/s with my first child. I started out having a normal delivery, I was even pushing. But then my son's heartrate dropped too much, too fast and my doctor said we had to go in and get him. I do NOT regret that descion because I know that it saved his life. His cord was wrapped around his neck. Where I feel like a failure is now. We are trying to have another child and I was told that I can not have a VBAC because of too much scar tissue. I feel like my body has betrayed me. I feel like I was not strong enough to heal the way that I was suppose to. Am I the only one who feels this way?


Re: Feeling like a failure!

  • i felt bad at first for a minute when my dr told me he did not do VBAC no matter what once a cs always a cs. then i got to thinking the reason i had one the first time around was because i only dialated to 4. so chances where that i would do something similar again adn still need a cs. then i got over it. I would rather have a cs and know the complications/procedure than push a baby out and have the possiblilty of the baby getting stuck/cord around neck/ or tearing.
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • My birth experience sounds a little like yours, I got to the pushing stage but DD was transverse and wasn't moving down the birth canal. My OB said a VBAC isn't likely due to the shape of my pelvis. It's hard knowing you can't give birth vaginally,I know how you feel. I have heard that a planned CSection is a lot easier than an emerg CSection. GL and keep your head up!
  • Can you get a second opinion? How did the dr determine that there is too much scar tissue on your uterus to make you a candidate?
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I have been to two different doctors already. When they did my exams they told me that I would not be able to have a VBAC.


  • I feel this way as well. I had an emergency C section after 3 hours of pushing only to realize LO's head would not fit through my pelvic bones and it would be dangerous to try with forceps (for fear of his collarbone breaking). I had a pretty traumatic C section as his head was stuck in my pelvis and ended up gatting several tears in my uterus.

    Now I will never be able to have a vaginal birth as my uterus is too scarred. It is depressing everytime I think about it and I am tearing up even typing this! I feel like I let myself down :(





  • I had complications and had to be induced early which ended in a c-section. I have continued to battle BP issues and will not likely be a VBAC candidate.  I felt like a total failure. I know plenty of people who've had c/s and have total peace with it and have no idea why I felt the way I did. "The baby is fine! You're fine! Nothing to be upset about. " That's great for them, but I still had a really hard time with it. In all honesty, I did some therapy and it helped me a lot. But know you are not alone at all!
    PCOS dx 2008 | BFP #1 2/26/2009 with Metformin
    Owen Matthew 11/1/2009 4lbs 10oz 16.5in
    Born 5 weeks early by C/S | Severe Pre-Eclampsia
    BFP #2 5/1/2011 | M/C @ 7 weeks | D&C 5/25/2011
    TTC #2 | HSG Clear | SA 2% Morph otherwise great
    3 failed Femara/TI cycles moving on to IUI
  • As someone who tried for a VBAC and failed I sort of wish I had been told from the get-go that a VBAC wouldn't work for me.  Then I wouldn't have been disappointed over the failed VBAC.

     I think that csections can be hard on a lot of us as we lose a lot of the control and the experience of giving birth that we were planning on for so long.  I will say even though I had a lot of complications during surgery, the csection recovery this time has been easier mentally and physically. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker image
  • I had a c/s bc DD was breech and early.  So I don't even feel like I saved her life, I only succumbed to current medical standards - breech babies are c/s babies.  I do feel much better about it now, probably bc she's totally awesome and it's fading some from my daily thoughts.  But, if someone told me I was doomed to another c/s I would not be so happy about it.  I am sure some rcs are totally warranted and I know many women prefer to go that route.  Writing you off now as too much scar tissue sounds a little shady.  Like my friend whose dr recommended a rcs because he couldn't assure her how well he sewed her up the first time...  Maybe more medical opinions and some time to absorbed it all will make you feel more certain about your decision.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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