April 2012 Moms

Chchchanges...

How has having a baby changed your relationship with Dh?

For us, it's magnified every issue we have. :
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Re: Chchchanges...

  • I love watching him play with her but it happens so rarely and that makes me sad.

    I've realized how selfish of a person DH is. It has definitly put a strain on our relationship. I do feel however, that we have more of a reason to try to work things out and that's a good thing.
  • I'm sorry! 

    I guess we are both a little short with each other because of lack of sleep.  I waited a really long time to get married and have a baby. We get along great.  We have had disagreements, but never fights.  I hope it stays that way. 

  • How about if I put it this way...we now have two kids and I don't think we can have a third because I don't think our marriage would survive it!

    This makes me so sad!!! 

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  • I guess I'm in the minority but it has made our relationship so much stronger and so much better. We love and respect each other so much more now that we see each other as parents. 
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  • The first few weeks, H showed my what a big heart he has, how much he loves us, and how he can step up and be a man the way you always hope somebody will when you need them. Most of the rest of the time, he disappoints, saddens, and infuriates me by falling short of that amazing potential he showed me in huge, glaring ways.
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  • I think it's pretty common to go through this after having a baby. It was more glaring the 2nd time around, things have been pretty ugly at times, but it does keep getting better as the kids get older. Sadly I agree I don't think we could do a 3rd, I don't think DH would be able to hack it. I really wanted a big family, sometimes I wish I'd found someone who felt the same. We talked about it before marriage and DH "yeah yeah"ed me, but once the reality of what having kids was like hit he was ready to be done after 2. I think I'd feel a lot worse about it if I hadn't felt differently after having DD. I hated the first 9 months with her, she was so difficult, and I really don't know if I could do that again if a 3rd ended up being like her.

    Anyway, it happened a lot faster this time, DS is only 6 months and it feels like we're through the roughest stuff. DD was a year or so before we got there last time.

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  • image TrudyCampbell:
    I guess I'm in the minority but it has made our relationship so much stronger and so much better. We love and respect each other so much more now that we see each other as parents. 


    I'll join you in the minority. It's been amazing seeing H as a father and it definitely has brought us so much closer. He is the father I wished I had...loving, affectionate, patient, understanding. Seeing how much he loves her, has deepened my love for him. It definitely was hard the first few months, and I would snap at him in frustration and exhaustion, but I think the worst is over and we are both enjoying being parents so much more. He has stopped his "one and done" talk, and has actually talked about having another! I'm sorry other people are having a rough time, and hope it gets better
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  • image adrianacastro08:
    image TrudyCampbell:
    I guess I'm in the minority but it has made our relationship so much stronger and so much better. We love and respect each other so much more now that we see each other as parents. 
    I'll join you in the minority. It's been amazing seeing H as a father and it definitely has brought us so much closer. He is the father I wished I had...loving, affectionate, patient, understanding. Seeing how much he loves her, has deepened my love for him. It definitely was hard the first few months, and I would snap at him in frustration and exhaustion, but I think the worst is over and we are both enjoying being parents so much more. He has stopped his "one and done" talk, and has actually talked about having another! I'm sorry other people are having a rough time, and hope it gets better

     I'll join you two. Our relationship has gotten so much stronger. He is such a good dad it makes me love him even more. and he has really stepped up how much he helps around the house too (i used to do everything alone)

    I hope things get better soon for the rest of you

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  • I'm delighted with what a great dad he is, he is really good with her and very reasonable/happy to split duties. I have so much respect for how well he's adjusted to the new life responsibilities we have.

    However I sometimes feel like I don't love him anymore in a romantic way but that may be due to the zero sex drive I have since the baby. I just don't know.

    I can see us having more kids though. He is my best friend and we are so well matched. I've never been married with a kid before so I'm not sure if its normal to lose "romantic feelings". I can't imagine not raising my kids with him or growing old with anyone else. But at the same time I don't want to kiss him! Its weird.
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