1st Trimester

Screwing with my head.

I love these message boards, and wish I would've found them earlier on our ttc journey! (It took 16 months, and one iui to get knocked up.)  Everyone is so supportive, and it would've helped me a lot. 

 That being said, the amount of people that have experienced miscarriages on here is staggering. I know that statistically, most women will miscarry at least once. I also know that it's out of our control, and that I should just enjoy the fact that I'm pregnant right now. But, does it mess with anyone else's head, like it does mine? It truly makes me nervous that I won't carry full term...almost to the point where I'm trying not to get attached to this miracle inside of me, at least until I clear the first trimester.  What a bummer of a feeling, when you're afraid to be excited. 

BabyFruit Ticker

Re: Screwing with my head.

  • I have had "spotting" dreams the last two nights. So, yeah, I think my head is being messed with a little.
  • honestly, i believe it's normal to be fearful. having had one full-term, healthy pregnancy and then one miscarriage, this third pregnancy is one full of anxiety. having been through a miscarriage, try as you might, there's nothing you can do to prevent that bond between you and your baby from forming. it's instantaneous. there's nothing wrong with allowing yourself to fall in love. and regardless of whether or not you allow yourself to get attached, speaking from experience, if it ends in a miscarriage, you'll still mourn just as deeply. so enjoy it. try not to dwell on the probabilities. and take it one day at a time. best wishes!

  • I have felt the same way, I also know that miscarriage is fairly common (I think it's something like 1 in 4 or 1 in 5 pregnancies) but no one in my family, mom, sister, sister-in-law has gone through it. I didn't really grasp how common it was until I went on here. Two nights ago I had a dream that I was miscarrying and it was graphic. Scared me to death.

    Then yesterday I had moderate cramping and I was super nervous all day. I haven't had any spotting, but it scares me. I have my first u/s next Thursday so I hope that everything is fine so I can stop worrying.

    However, I am still trying to be happy because it is more likely than not that my baby is fine. I guess this is what being a mother is all about. We are going to worry about this little one and any subsequent little ones for the rest of our lives.


  • image travelmami:

    honestly, i believe it's normal to be fearful. having had one full-term, healthy pregnancy and then one miscarriage, this third pregnancy is one full of anxiety. having been through a miscarriage, try as you might, there's nothing you can do to prevent that bond between you and your baby from forming. it's instantaneous. there's nothing wrong with allowing yourself to fall in love. and regardless of whether or not you allow yourself to get attached, speaking from experience, if it ends in a miscarriage, you'll still mourn just as deeply. so enjoy it. try not to dwell on the probabilities. and take it one day at a time. best wishes!

    Sorry for your loss. I think you made an excellent point. As much as a person can try to prepare themselves for the worst case scenario, it is going to hurt, so you might as well hope for the best and enjoy the journey.


  • travelmami, I am so sorry for your loss. I've always said that to people, and really did mean it...but, now that I'm pregnant, it carries much more meaning.

    You all know the right things to say, and have brought up very good points. Thank you.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Yes.the fear of miscarriage is terrible. I had a m/c 4 months ago at 6 weeks which is what I am at right now. I am taking it one day at a time and keep reminding myself that everything is ok. I have a lot more symptoms this time than I did last time and found out sooner. I have been faithful with my prenatals and have my first Dr appt next Monday. I pray everyday that this baby will be healthy and it helps to calm me down.
  • I feel the same way. Ive always known first trimester miscarriages are common, but reading the posts puts it into perspective. I get so nervous everytime I go to the bathroom that Im going to see spotting. Ive taken multiple tests to make sure its "still there", which may be silly. This is my first so I have no idea what to expect. Ive also been a little crampy, but have been reassured time time again that its normal. I told myself I wasnt going to get attached but thats impossible I think. I already am! I also told myself I wasnt going to browse baby stuff, talk names, etc. but all of that has also happened. So no, you are not alone!
    BabyFetus Ticker IAmPregnant Ticker
  • The first time I wa pregnant I got so excited. I picked names, bought clothes, etc. I told myself that statistically the baby would probably be fine. Then I MC. I was devastated. This time around I try to not let myself focus on bing on pregnant. Haven't thought about names, looked at anything baby related, told anyone, and accepted that MC may happen. I just take everyday for what it is. I need to hear the heart beat and get past the first trimester before I'll feel comfortable....

    image
    TTC since 03/2011
    BFP#1 spontaneous conception! 4/28/12 natural MC on 5/9/12
    IUI#1 with clomid and trigger on 9/12/12
    BFP#2 on 9/26/12 EDD 6/5/13
    Beta #1 143 14dpo Beta #2 343 16dpo Beta #3 920 18dpo
    Please, Please, Please stick baby!

    Baby Mackenzie born 5/28/2013!

    image

    BabyFruit Ticker
     



  • I know there seems to be a lot of M/C here, but think about it this way.

    This group of woman tend to know then are pregnant before AF should arrive. The average woman takes a test when she is a week or two late.

    That is 2-3 weeks of us "knowing", where the other people just think their period is late or extra heavy. They are also having early m/c's but do not know it.

     



  • i wouldnt say i am fearful of miscarry but i definitely dont feel like its real yet because i'm not very far along!
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Ive been telling my DH about these msg boards because I too get myself worked about about m
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • .....miscarrying.  This is our first child, and his words of advice were comforting.  He told me not to stress because this is what  it's going to be like for the rest of our lives after we have kids.  The worrying won't stop....so just saddle up for the ride and always pray for the best because u cannot control these things. 

     

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I feel exactly the same way! Having experienced a miscarriage my husband and I are being quietly excited about this pregnancy. We are cautiously optimistic and it makes me sad that I am not jumping over the moon like I want to be.  I am scared.  But I am trying to take it one day at a time and be as positive as I can.  :)
  • I got nervous when I first started lurking, too, and for about the first week after my BFP. Then I started getting symptoms, and I thought, "Huh, maybe everything's doing what it's supposed to," and I let myself start hoping for the best.

    Reading everyone else's posts has definitely made me more empathetic. You never truly know what other people might be experiencing privately.

    EDIT: And congratulations on your pregnancy!  :)

    Baby girl born 5/20/13. Figuring it out as we go. :)
  • You just described exactly how I'm feeling and going through.
  • Stay positive.
    That's what my boyfriend tells me.
    I have nothing but constant worries of the worst. I have my first appointment on Thursday. And I can only think about the worst. Like maybe something might be wrong with me. To the point where it effects the baby. Or worse something is wrong with the baby. I'm terrified that I won't hear a heart beat.. Even through I'll be 8weeka I'm still worried to death.
    I wish you the best and congratulations on your baby.
  • Someone else mentioned that most people on these boards know sooner that they're pregnant than the average woman, so know they're having a miscarriage when others just think they're having a late or heavy period. That's very true. It's also true that the women who have a healthy pregnancy the first time around tend to go away and not come back until they are pregnant again/ready to try again. Those of us who have had miscarriages, especially those who have had multiple miscarriages, tend to stay around a lot more because of all those extra pregnancies and so seem like a larger segment of the population than we necessarily are. It freaked me out a lot too with my first pregnancy, and I'm really sorry that you're going through it. Still, just try to enjoy the fact that you're pregnant now, and remember that probably, nothing you do is going to affect your pregnancy one way or the other. Worrying about it isn't going to help it. This early, there's not much that can be done either way. What will happen will happen. Try to have a good attitude -- it does help!

     

    (Of course I say all this while worrying a ridiculous amount myself. I can't help it! But I am TRYING to take my own advice...) 

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