Pregnant after IF

How is hubby feeling about this?!?!

Hi ladies, still very new here. Hello to you all. My hubby and I have been married for almost 11 years. We got married young and were broke, so we decided to focus on work and traveling. In 2010 we finally decided it was time to have a baby. Got pg right away, but ended in an early MC. Since then we didn't get lucky again. We fianlly saw a fertility specialist and started IUI in early Sept, got our BFP after the first try. Hubby seemed a little distant during the process. He said he felt guilty that he couldn't give this to me naturally. Now that we are officially preggo, he still seems very distant and I'm having a hard time understanding why. I know he is excited, this is what we wanted. But I think he might be too scared that this will end in a MC like last time. I don't know what to tell him to make him feel better. I too am scared and we are waiting to tell family until 12 weeks. But it's hard for me to try to enjoy the early stages of pregnancy when he seems to give out negative vibes. Is this just a guy thing? How can I comfort him?
Married 11/28/01. Me: 31- Elevated FSH 9.1 Hubby: 35- Low sperm count/mobility/ RA meds. TTC since Oct 2010. BFP- Nov 2010, ended in MC Dec 2010. Laporoscopy for possbile ectopic/D&C. TTC again since March 2011- no success. Fertility Dr- May 2012. Lots of B/W, HSG, Laporoscopy. All came back normal. Determined it was a male factor. IUI#1- Sept 2012. Clomid, 2 shots of Bravelle, 1 trigger shot of Ovidrel and daily progetrone suppositories. 4 Follicles,3 good ones, 1 small one. TWW.

Re: How is hubby feeling about this?!?!

  • MH was also nervous in the beginning and he had a hard time accepting that it was real (and honestly so did I).  Even now, he doesn't *seem* as excited about the baby as I am.  But then I remember that he shows emotions very differently than I do and that he is a typical guy who doesn't gush over every detail of his day the way I do.  Smile  I'm sure he is on the same page as you...why not try talking to him and letting him know how you feel about it too.  Maybe he'll open up more if he knows the same thoughts are running through your head.

     

    TTC#1: 4/2010 - Me: 31 DH: 31 – unexplained
    9 medicated/monitored cycles = BFN | IVF 1.2 = BFP!!
    Beta#1: 162 | Beta#2: 535 | Beta#3: 2,445 | Beta#4: >9,000!

    Sophie Joy was born 2/10/2013


    TTC#2: 2/2014 - pre-testing completed to prepare for FET#1. Surprise BFP the cycle before FET!!
    Beta#1: 301 | Beta#2: 612 | Beta#3: 3,200 | Beta#4: >11,000!
     

    Praying for my sister, RunCC37, to have her own miracle!

     

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

     image
  • I have read on here before that mothers start being mothers the moment that know they are pregnant and men start being fathers the first time they hold their baby.

    For my husband that was very true. He wasn't as excited as I was about the pregnancy as I was but that's just him in general. But he is a wonderful father to our son.

    As women we really start caring for our child by taking care of ourselves through our pregnancy. We can feel the changes taking place in our bodies and eventually we can feel the baby move inside. But men can't feel any changes, so I think for them it starts being real when they can start caring for the baby as well. Hth!
    Diagnosed MFI- low sperm count  DS-Born 7/27/11 After 2 years of IF we have our little man
    TTC#2 January 2013
    Benched Jan & Feb due to cysts
    March, April, May-Clomid +IUI = BFNs
    June- Clomid+Menopur+trigger+IUI= cancelled no response
    July-December-5 Menopur cycles+IUI= BFNs
    February, March- Femara + IUI= BFN, BFP!
    EDD- November 27 2014
  • I think men are very sensitive especially about the fact they have male fertility issues.  My DH was quite nervous about previous appointment results and we didn't tell family & friends until 12 weeks. 

    Negative vibes are definitely not good for everyone esp. the baby.  I think you should communicate him that.  I have a feeling he will start feeling better as your pregnancy goes.  To comfort, let him know that infertility isn't unusual and it's all around us and it's a blessing that you got pregnant with his sperm!  I bought my DH a book called "Dude You will be a dad".  He has been reading it here and there to get ready for the baby, so this might be a good idea?    

    Mar-Apr-May/12: All 3 IUI (w/ Femara) - BFN

    May/12 IVF journey in the works...
    IVF #1 w/ ICSI #1 (Gonal, Menopur & Ganirelix)
    5/29-6/18: BCP, 6/21-6/27: Stim, 6/30: ER
    7/5: ET 2 5-days blastocysts are transferred, none made to freeze :(
    7/17: Beta #1 - 616!!, 7/23: Beta #2 - 6818
    8/2: u/s #1 - a healthy seahorse found & one empty sac, 8/16: u/s #2 - one peanut! HB @ 180
    10/30: It's a girl!!! EDD: 3/23/13


    IVF & Miracle baby blog!
    My Cherry Blossom baby

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • One thing I did to help include my DH in the early stages is I picked up a daily pregnancy calendar (this one: http://www.amazon.com/Countdown-My-Birth-account-babys/dp/0684049678/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1349188942&sr=8-1&keywords=countdown+to+pregnancy+calendar).  I ordered this after we saw the babies' heartbeats for the first time. 

    Every day it has a post talking about what is happening with the baby's development right then.  He reads it to me every day when we wake up.  He also has taken to writing little notes on the days of our appointments, like HB and other stuff.  We are both still cautious, but I think it has really gotten him into the spirit since he can't see or feel anything on a daily basis.  Good Luck!

    TTC Since Nov. 2008 Twins through IVF!
  • My DH was very nervous for the first 12 weeks. He didn't want to tell anyone. I think it is harder for a guy to process the idea of being a father. The responsibilities that come with it is scary. I know my DH didn?t really get excited until my stomach grew enough that he could see that I was really pregnant. Like my DH said until he can feel it and touch it he can?t really connect with it.

    What I did for my DH is I bought a picture frame that says ?No one loves me like my daddy? and put an ultrasound photo in it. He shows it to everyone that comes over :-)

     

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome

    We have been TTTC since July 2008:

    Irregular cycles, high prolactin, dilated right tube, cysts, male IF

    IUI # 1 ~ 12/09/10 ~ 50 mg Clomid, 250 mg Ovidrel = BFN

    IUI #2 ~ 01/09/11, #3~ 02/11/11 & # 4.2~ 04/19/11~ 20 mg Tamoxifen, 250 mg Ovidrel = BFN

    IUI # 5 ~ 09/28/11, # 6 ~ 11/23/11, & # 7~ 12/17/12~ 112.5 iu Gonal F, 250 mg Ovidrel = BFN

    12/14/11 ~ IVF consult
    IVF #1 ~ 02/15/12 BCP, 02/29/12 10 units Lupron, 3/9/12 Baseline,
    03/09/12 stimms 250 iu Gonal F, 5 units Lupron ~ 03/20/12 ER = 5 eggs ~ 03/23/12 ET = One-4BF transfered~ Beta # 1 04/04/12 = 134 ~ Beta # 2 04/06/12 = 283 ~ Beta # 3 04/09/12 = 906

    Due date 12/08/12 :-)
    Born 12/15/12 :)


    image



  • Thank  you ladies! I love the idea of the calendar and frame. Thanks again!
    Married 11/28/01. Me: 31- Elevated FSH 9.1 Hubby: 35- Low sperm count/mobility/ RA meds. TTC since Oct 2010. BFP- Nov 2010, ended in MC Dec 2010. Laporoscopy for possbile ectopic/D&C. TTC again since March 2011- no success. Fertility Dr- May 2012. Lots of B/W, HSG, Laporoscopy. All came back normal. Determined it was a male factor. IUI#1- Sept 2012. Clomid, 2 shots of Bravelle, 1 trigger shot of Ovidrel and daily progetrone suppositories. 4 Follicles,3 good ones, 1 small one. TWW.
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